Welcome to This (Non) Sporting Life, a semi regular blog feature where I (Dave-El) who knows little about sports posts about sports.
My wife Andrea was determined to follow the 2024 Summer Olympic Games in Paris from beginning to end.
And she was determined to cheer on our American athletes.
The most common way to show support is to chant "U! S! A! U! S! A! U! S! A!"
I convinced Andrea to chant "Oosah! Oosah! Oosah!"
My frequent (and I’m surely annoying) question was “Is this a thing (someone is going for a medal) or getting ready for a thing (semi-finals or qualifying rounds)?”
There was a lot of time covering “getting ready for a thing” as opposed to “the thing” itself.
There is a massive gulf in physical ability between these athletes and this idiot watching them. I’m in excruciating pain just moving from sitting to standing up.
Imagine something 100 meters long then multiply it by 15, THAT’s how long 1500 meters is!
Andrea pointed out that swimming from one end of the pool to the other and then swimming back again is 100 meters.
So you do THAT 15 times!
That's how long 1500 meters is!!
What? Were you expecting some other clarification on 1500 meters? I’m an American! I don’t need to understand no stinkin’ metric system.
No matter how long 1500 meters is, it's still a long time to just keep swimming, just keep swimming....
Gymnastics was a big thing with Simone Biles' triumphant return after the drama and trauma at the Tokyo games.
Can you believe she is 27 years old? And married to an NFL player?
I’m not sure about women’s gymnastic on the mat which involves leaping, flipping and… dancing? Choreography is part of the gig.
Men’s gymnastics on the mat does not involve any dancing.
I think it should.
There was a lot of super hero imagery with his Clark Kent vibe by day then off come the glasses and he does super heroic feats on the pommel horse.
I feel like I’m saying “pommel horse” too much.
Pommel horse! Pommel horse! Pommel horse!
Did I summon a demonic pommel horse?
Back to the pool, there were events in diving or as I kept referring to it as “Olympic Falling Into the Pool”.
Gravity is a cruel and intractable mistress.
The Olympics were not without controversy. There was the small matter of Imane Khelif of Algeria, a woman boxer.
It got out that a few years ago, a Russian boxing organization disqualified her because she failed a “gender” test.
The right wing nutcases when ballistic over here in America.
Donald Trump said Kamala Harris is OK with a woman boxer being punched in the face by a man.
And all the other weirdos in the GOP were off to the judgmental races.
Never mind that…
- Imane Khelif was born a woman
- grew up as a woman
- identifies as woman
- it says “woman” on her passport
- she’s been a participant in women’s boxing for years
- meets the IOC’s standards for being a woman
- She ’s a woman.
And the Russian boxing organization that disqualified her that one time? The IOC terminated their relationship with that group citing rampant corruption.
Imane Khelif just wanted to be the best woman’s boxer in the world and she’s the target of slander and rage. She did go on to get the gold medal in women's boxing.
You go, girl!
Let’s move on to something more chill.
Man, I wish I could live a life like Snoop Dogg. He’s just so cool and has a good time wherever he goes.
Well, he’s not so chill around horses but Martha Stewart helped her good buddy Snoop to understand the sport of dressage. Snoop thought the horses know the routines (I kinda thought that too) but Martha says the riders do need to employ skills to guide the horse through those routines.
So Snoop likes horses a little bit better now.
Not faring so well was Colin Jost. The SNL Weekend Update anchor (and Andrea’s secret boyfriend) was covering Olympic surfing in Tahiti.
Why Colin? You guess is a good as mine or his even.
Over the course of his stay in a tropical paradise, Colin injured his foot which resulted in a nasty infection. OMG! Tahiti nearly killed Colin Jost.
Anyway the Olympics continued on with triumph (the American women's relay team won gold) and tragedy (the American men's relay team lost their race botching the baton hand off from the first runner to the second).
The next day, another set of relay races fared much better for both the American men and women.
The national anthem of the gold medal winner's nation is played at the medal ceremony. OK, I'm gonna say it and you can call me a bad American if you want but France has a better national anthem that we do.
It's jaunty and fun!
He's not an athlete but Mike Tirico deserves some kind of medal for Olympic endurance. Mike has been the host of NBC's prime time coverage every single damn night for nearly up to 4 hours a night. Mike Tirico is a consummate professional broadcaster who keeps this show moving with style and grace.
 |
| Mike Tirico with Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg |
The United States tied with China for Gold medals (40) while winning the most medals overall with a total of 126.
No comments:
Post a Comment