Resolving Your Resolutions

Hi there! Last night I saw the New Year's special for Doctor Who and I will have a bit of a post about that but probably not until January 3rd. Or maybe later today at the earliest.

What' I have on tap today is this piece I wrote on January 5, 2018 for a newsletter that was under development to be launched that month. The newsletter wound up not getting launched until April of that year so an article on New Year’s resolutions was no longer timely.

Well, I thought why let this go to waste? Here's a little something-something on how to keep your New Year’s resolutions after you've made them.

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Hi there! It’s the beginning of a new year so let’s talk about New Year’s resolutions.

Hey, you! Yes, you, the person reading this! I saw that! You rolled your eyes.

Look, I know. Everywhere you turn at the start of a New Year, there’s someone writing something about resolutions.  By the time this item posts, you’re probably thinking:

1. “I’ve already made my New Year’s resolutions.”
2. “I’ve already broken my New Year’s resolutions.”
3. “I don’t need to make New Year’s resolutions.”

But here are some thoughts to:  

1. Help improve your chances of keeping your New Year’s resolutions this year. 
2. Help give you another chance of keeping your New Year’s resolutions this year. 
3. ….yeah, you know, girlfriend, we just need to talk.  

Choose a Specific, Realistic Goal

A common resolution millions of adults make is to "lose weight" or "get in shape".  But how much weight? What shape do you want to be in? Do you want to get down to a Size 2? Or you’re OK with getting down to a size 12 to keep enough muscle mass to slap Size 2 people when they say things like “It’s so hard to find clothes that fit right because I’m so small.”

For example, you might commit to losing a specific amount of weight (like 10 pounds, maybe in a specific time frame (“Lose 10 pounds by June 1^st.”).  Or a specific exercise (for example, walking) on a specified schedule (a half hour every day). Choosing a concrete, achievable goal also gives you the opportunity to plan exactly how you are going to accomplish your goal over the course of the year.

Maybe you should only pick one resolution. You might have a lot of things you want to accomplish. But making a bunch of resolutions can be overwhelming and sets you up for failure.  The American Psychological Association suggests focusing on just one behavior at a time is more likely to lead to long-term success.  

Change Is a Process

You might be a mess of a human being but you didn’t get there overnight.

If you did get to be a mess of a human overnight, there is a good chance you broke some laws so maybe your New Year’s resolution should be to find a good lawyer.  

But most of us got to where we are through a long process of practice.

“Present: Carton of Breyer’s ice cream! Present: SPOON! NOW: Dip, scoop, eat! Again! Dip, scoop, eat! C’mon! Work that spoon! Dip, scoop, eat! Dip, scoop, eat!”  

We can’t expect to reverse all that with a snap of our fingers. 

Trying to do too much too fast is a common reason why so many New Year's Resolutions fail.

Instead, focus on taking tiny steps that will ultimately help you reach your larger goal.

If you have resolved to run a marathon, start out by going for a jog two or three times a week.

If you are trying to eat healthier, start by replacing some of your favorite junk foods with more nutritious foods.

It may take longer than you would like to achieve your goals, but remember that this is not a race to the finish. This is not a competition.

“I can’t believe this! My husband’s scarfing down pizza and he’s lost 10 pounds! I’m eating broccoli (BROCOLLI for crying out loud) and I’ve GAINED 5 pounds?!?!?”  

Once you have made the commitment to changing a behavior, it is something that you will continue to work on for the rest of your life.

Keep On Keeping On

Encountering a setback is one of the most common reasons why people give up on their New Year Resolutions.

“I resolved to run 5 miles every day. Today, I ate a quart of Ben ‘N’ Jerry’s and binge watched Fuller House on Netflix! Fuller House? I should just give up.” <drives to store for more ice cream> 

Remember, change is a process. Even with hard work and dedication, some steps are going to be backwards, not forwards.

But make use of those stumbles. Look at what you did and why. This is information that will help you on your journey. Failure can be an important teacher.  

Consider keeping a resolution journal.

• Write down the reasons why you are working toward your goal so that you can refer to them during times when you feel uninspired and unmotivated.
• Write down the milestones you achieve.
• Document your setbacks and what you’ve learned from them. If your current approach is not working, reevaluate your strategies and develop a new plan.

For more on this topic, read 10 Great Tips for Keeping Your Resolutions This Year by Kendra Cherry at verywell.com.  

Source:

• Dai, H, Milman, KL, & Riis, J. The fresh start effect: Temporal landmarks motivate aspirational behavior. Management Science. 2014;2563 - 2582. doi:10.1287/mnsc.2014.1901.
• Norcross, JC, Mrykalo, MS, & Blagys, MD. Auld lang Syne: Success predictors, change processes, and self-reported outcomes of New Year's resolvers and nonresolvers. Journal of Clinical Psychology. 2002;58(4);397-405. doi:10.1002/jclp.1151.