The Fortress of Ineptitude Halloween Film Fest

A few weeks ago when our daughter Randie was home from college for her fall break visit, she said she wanted to get into a Halloween mood. To that end, we watched 4 films over 4 nights here at the Fortress of Ineptitude. 

I thought on this, the day of Halloween, I would share some thoughts on those movies that were part of the The Fortress of Ineptitude Halloween Film Fest

Edward Scissorhands

The titular Edward is a freak created by science in a dark and sinister castle with sharp blades for hands. But as we discover over the course of the movie, the true monsters are the alleged “normal” people who live in the pastel painted cookie cutter neighborhood below. 

As I noted in my recent review of the animated Addams Family movie, the concept of what we might regard as the grotesque and the strange as not being the true monsters is not a new concept, even when Tim Burton made this movie. It’s a concept Rod Serling visited on several occasions in the Twilight Zone back in the 1950s.  But Edward Scissorhands tells this story very well. 

Johnny Depp as Edward is kind of creepy with his pale death like pallor and those super sharp blades for fingers do make him a genuine hazard. But Edward is a virtual wizard with his scissor hands, sculpting hedges into dramatic topiaries, grooming dogs and women’s hair, the neighborhood embraces their strange but gifted newcomer. But the minute one thing goes wrong, the neighborhood quickly turn against Edward, casting him in the role of the monster he looks like even though his actions are not those of a monster.

Johnny Depp as Edward is remarkably nuanced in his performance. Dianne Wiest is delightful as the Avon sales lady who finds Edward alone in his castle. She has a sunny deposition and an unshakeable belief that there is no problem the right Avon product can’t fix.  

Another acting highlight is the appearance of Vincent Price as the nameless inventor who creates Edward. Vincent had a long history of appearance in horror films both classic and not so classic. Here, he plays against type as an eccentric but kindly scientist who sadly dies mere moments before he can replace Edward’s scissor hands with real hands. 

Coraline

So this is a seriously creepy story from the mind of Neil Gaiman. Coraline, a neglected young girl finds herself in an alternate dimension, a mirror version of her “real” life where her parents are kind and attentive. And they have buttons for eyes.

Life is really weird in this mirror realm but it's hard to dismiss loving and attentive parents. Until her other mom insists on Coraline staying in their realm forever. If Coraline agrees to swap out her eyes for buttons. 

OK, this is one seriously deranged movie. 


Beetlejuice

This is one of those movies that Randie’s been intrigued by for years. She was aware of the basic premise and had seen bits and pieces online but never had a chance to see the whole movie. 
 Well, we finally did.



I’m always a bit antsy with any movie premise that requires your principals to die.  Which is what happens here as the adorkably in love couple of Adam and Barbara Maitland must perish in the first act so their ghosts can haunt their house for the rest of the movie.  Another family moves in from the city with designs to basically redo the whole house in whatever late 1980s nouveau riche miscarriage of design. The Maitlands want nothing like this happening to their house. Efforts to haunt the family out of the house fail miserably so they turns to Betelguese, a psychotic crazed demon person who causes more problems for the Mailtands.



Michael Keaton as Betelgeuse (pronounced "Beetlejuice") is the standout performance of this movie. Tim Burton looked at this guy and said, “There’s my Batman!” But there something about Geena Davis’s eyes that really draws me in.  








Corpse Bride

Victor is the son of a couple who have enormous wealth but zero in social standing.


Victoria is the daughter of a couple who are of a higher social order but are more or less penniless.

 The two couples have arranged a marriage of their respective children to address their respective shortcomings.



It is an arranged marriage and Victor and Victoria have never even met.  But the two meet and they get along rather well, This marriage thing might just work after all. But Victor’s still a nervous wreck, ruining the wedding rehearsal by forgetting his vows. He flees to a nearby forest, practicing his vows while placing the wedding ring on a nearby upturned tree root.


The root, however, is not a root.

It's a finger.


Specifically, the finger of a dead woman named Emily, in a tattered bridal gown, who rises from the grave and claims that she is now Victor's wife.


Things have gotten complicated. 





And seriously weird.


And that's how we roll around here at the Fortress of Ineptitude for movies at Halloween time.