After last week's look at Star Trek - The Motion Picture, I've decided to dedicate Cinema Sunday to review the rest of the movies featuring the cast of the original series.
Today, we face... The Revenge of Khan!
No, wait! The next Star Wars film is going to be Revenge of the Jedi.*
Title change:
Now we face... The Wrath of Khan!
*Revenge of the Jedi does it's own title change to Return of the Jedi.
USS Enterprise has received a distress call from the crew of the damaged ship Kobayashi Maru. Lieutenant Saavik, a Vulcan, is in command and directs the ship to conduct a rescue mission.
But to quote a certain admiral from another sci-fi franchise?
"It's a trap!"
The Enterprise is attacked by Klingon cruisers and despite whatever Saavik can think of, everything goes to shit real fast, the bridge exploding around her and dead crew lying everywhere.
Then lights come up, the explosions stop, the dead crew get up and Admiral James T. Kirk enters the bridge.
It's all been a simulation exercise for the trainees under the tutelage of Captain Spock.
Saavik is trying to maintain her Vulcan composure but really, this Kobayashi Maru test is bull shit: there's not way to win. Kirk reminds her it's important for Starfleet officers to be prepared for the no-win scenario.
Dr. McCoy then remarks that Kirk is the only Starfleet officer to beat the Kobayashi Maru test.
The year is 2285 and life is kind of good but Kirk is kind of down in the dumps about it. It's his birthday and he's another year older while getting antsy behind an admiral's desk.
Meanwhile, out in deep space...
The starship Reliant is on a mission to search for a lifeless planet to test the Genesis Device, a technology designed to change dead matter into a living world. Commander Pavel Chekov and Captain Clark Terrell beam down to evaluate a planet they believe to be Ceti Alpha VI.
Uh oh! "It's a trap!"
Oh crap! The planet is Ceti Alpha V and the two Starfleet officers are in the clutches of Khan Noonien Singh, the genetically engineered tyrant we last met in the series episode "Space Seed".
Using mind controlling ear worms, Khan forces Chekov and Terrell to take control of the Reliant and he learns of the Genesis device which is being developed on space station Regula 1.
While on a training cruise, the Enterprise receives a distress call from Regula 1 from the Genesis project director Dr. Carol Marcus.
Cue awkward: seems Kirk and Marcus were a thing once upon a time. Wait 'til he meets her son David who is also his son.
Knowing that Genesis is a really big deal and can be used as a weapon, Kirk takes command of the Enterprise. He's less of a dick about it this time. He checks in with Spock who is more than willing to let Jim have command.
Maybe letting Kirk command the Enterprise is not a good idea.
Enterprise gets it's ass kicked by Reliant. (Saavik did try to warn Kirk but guess who didn't listen?)
Khan orders Kirk to give up all info about Genesis or everyody dies.
Kirk pulls a sneaky by remotely lowering Reliant's shields and it's the Enterprise that delivers the ass kicking.
Khan sneaks off while the Enterprise sputters it's way to Regula I. Kirk, McCoy, and Saavik beam to the station to find a slaughterhouse, Dr. Marcus' team brutally murdered by Khan and his followers. Terrell and Chekov managed to hide from Khan and are still alive.
Seems Carol and David beamed down deep into the nearby planetoid with the Genesis device. Kirk and the gang follow and...
"It's a trap!"
Khan is pulling the strings on Terrell and Chekov with the mind controlling ear worms, using them as spies. Terrell phasers himself before he hurts Kirk and the others. Chekov collapses as the ear worm bloodily oozes out of his head.
But Khan has what he wants.
1) He beams up the Genesis device to the Reliant.
2) He has left Kirk buried alive deep in a lifeless planet. Buried aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!
Kirk is pissed! "KHAAAAAAANNNNN!!!!!!"
Well, there are worse places to be stuck. The otherwise lifeless planetoid they're stuck in has life, air, water and food thanks to Dr. Marcus's Genesis device.
While stuck in this no-win situation, Saavik reminds Kirk that by beating the Kobayashi Maru test (short answer is he cheated), Kirk has never faced a no win scenario.
Kirk answers, "I don't like to lose" and flips open his communicator.
Things are not quite as bleak as they seem.
Spock beams their asses back to the Enterprise. The ship is in super sorry shape but not quite as dead in the water as Khan believes.
The Enterprise enters a nearby nebula and Khan orders the Reliant to follow. A subordinate tells Khan this is not a good idea because the nebula fucks with sensors and shit but Khan doesn't care. He forces the Reliant into the nebula which is not a good idea. Why? Because...
"It's a trap!"
Yes, the Enterprise has the same problem as the Reliant in the nebula with fucked up sensors and shit but Kirk and his crew are used to doing stuff in space and Khan and his crew are not.
Or as Spock puts it, Khan's tactics indicate inexperience in three-dimensional combat which Kirk is able to use to his advantage to disable the Reliant.
But Khan ain't letting go of his raging drive for vengeance that easy. He sets the Genesis thingy to go off like a bomb.
The Enterprise, bereft of warp drive, can't get away fast enough.
Spock has an idea how to fix that.
So there's Khan, painfully gasping for breath, his life ebbing away but at least, in his last moments alive, he will see the hated Admiral Kirk finally d-
Where the fuck did they go?!?!
Genesis goes boom while the Enterprise warps the hell out of there just ahead of the blast radius.
Spock saves the day! Yay, Spock!
Except...
Except...
Spock fixed the ship's warp drive but it exposed him to lethal amounts of radiation and Kirk has to watch him slowly die.
"I am...and always...have been... your friend."
I'm not crying. You're crying! Oh shut up!
OK, this sucks!
Except...
Except...
Well, it doesn't really. I mean, Spock dying sucks but overall, this is a very strong effort and it hangs on a solid story structure built on character and less on spectacle.
By the way there's a story of a fan who protested Spock's death by walking out of the movie when Spock leaves the bridge. Dude still bought a ticket and Paramount still gets their money. That's showing them!
Besides it wasn't Paramount's idea to kill Spock. Leonard Nimoy only agreed to come back to Star Trek if Spock was killed off.
Anyway...
After the debacle of the first Star Trek movie, Paramount only agreed to do a second film on the cheap, as a made for TV movie. But with a growing confidence that producer Harve Bennett and director Nicholas Meyer knew what the hell they were doing and liking what they saw coming together, Paramount execs beefed up the budget to prep the film for a theatrical release.
The movies "made for TV" roots still show. The effects work is competent but not really worthy of the big screen. Some of the sets would have looked at home on the original series.
But what drives this story are the character beats. Kirk confronting his mortality. Spock finding a balance between his Vulcan and human sides.
Ricardo Montalbán as Khan growls and rages like he's playing to the balcony seats in a Shakespeare production but this is a good thing, making Khan a worthy antagonist. His abandonment on Ceti Alpha V, the death of many of his followers and his wife, he lays the blame squarely at the feet of James T. Kirk. His refusal to adapt, to lean hard into this rage, costs Khan the rest of his followers and his own life and all of it for nothing.
In contrasts, Kirk has lost his best friend and yet ends the movie with a sense that he has regained something he thought he had lost, a sense of wonder. He feels... young.
And it's not like the friend is lost forever.
The story goes that at the wrap party, Leonard Nimoy was telling Harve Bennett how much he enjoyed making this new Star Trek film and couldn't wait for the next one.
Next week, Cinema Sunday takes a look at Star Trek III - The Search For Spock.