Other People's Money

Let me just say this up front: I do not understand cryptocurrency.  

OK, to be fair, I understand some of how it works and enough to know to stay clear of it. 

The crypto mania thing as a whole has taken a big hit in recent months and took a really deep dive with the collapse of FTX.com, a firm that promised investors safe and convenient ways of trading cryptocurrencies. ("We will protect you from the fuckery!")  FTX is down to nothing in the aftermath of the arrest of it's founder, Sam Bankman-Fried in the Bahamas as U.S. regulators bitched slapped this lying, cheating motherfucker with a barrage of civil and criminal charges, including some good old fashioned embezzlement. ("The fuckery!")  

Right wing media had been claiming for weeks that since Sam Bankman-Fried donated money to Democrats, the Justice Department would not dare arrest him

Then Sam Bankman-Fried got arrested. 

NOW right wing media is claiming Sam Bankman-Fried was arrested to cover up sketchy shit done by the Democrats.  

Anyway, the main story here is that with the arrest of Sam Bankman-Fried, the collapse of FTX and the general downward trend in the value of crypto, well, you would have to be a dumb as shit motherfucker of a god damn moron to get into crypto now.

Which brings us to Donald Trump. 

<sigh!> 

Earlier last week, Li'l Donnie made an annoucement that on Thursday he would be making a “MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT!!!"

Let me remind you that a few weeks ago, this son of a bitch announced he was running for President and since then has done fuck all to do any actual running for President. 

The biggest Trump story was his having dinner with anti-semites.  

So maybe the  “MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT!!!" was going to involve actually something with his so far only theoretical campaign for President. 

Nope!  

In the grand tradition of Trump Steaks and Trump University, we got Li'l Donnie's latest grift, Digital Trump Cards.

For $99, you can purchase any of a selection of NFTs in the form of trading cards featuring Trump in a number of action poses as a super hero or a cowboy or an astronaut. 

So Mr. Really Big Brain Business Genius has decided now is the time to enter a market in a tail spin. 

In 2021,  Trump had said he “was never a big fan” of cryptocurrency — which, like non-fungible tokens, relies on blockchain technology. He also called digital money “a very dangerous thing.”

In 2022, well, he's OK with it. Of course it's not his money on the line, is it? It's the mouth breathing, knuckle dragging high school drop outs who form the core of his base who will fork over their $99 for his damn digital cards.  

Like most things with the word "Trump" slapped on the side like sub-par steaks, shitty vodka and shoddily constructed town homes, Li'l Donnie has sign off the use of his name and likeness for a boondoggle and as long as he's getting his slice of the pie, well fuck you if you're dumb enough to buy into it. 

Apparently there's enough dumbasses out there to buy $4 million of whatever the hell this is.   

Meanwhile, could Li'l Donnie be heading for... real trouble?

Long time readers of this blog know that as far as any actual legal peril that threatens to actually take down Donald Trump once and for all, my long standing refrain on any consequences he might actually face is "Ain't nothing gonna happen."  

I have zero expectation any of this will be different but (sigh!) here we go with the latest "real trouble" Li'l Donnie is in.  

The House panel investigating the Jan. 6 attack on the U.S. Capitol may be making a recommendation to the Justice Department pursue criminal charges against Donald Trump for  insurrection, obstructing an official proceeding and conspiracy to defraud the United States. 

Wow! That is....

...

Oh fuck! 

"Ain't nothing gonna happen."  

I mean, the January 6th committee may in fact make their recommendation to the Department of Justice and the DOJ may take all the work the House committee did and say, "Hey! It looks like someone may have committed crimes!" and then try to do something about it.

But it's Donald Trump.

It's god damn Donald mother fucking Trump and no matter what actually is done....

"Ain't nothing gonna happen."  

Trump's lawyers will keep things tangled up in appeals and delays and other shit as long as Trump keeps them paid with other people's money. 

And there may be enough of that on hand if Li'l Donnie can convince enough suckers to pony up $99 a pop for his digital card scam. 

Or collecting donations from his "Running for President" con.