Sunday, June 30, 2013

A Very Special (Clip) Episode

 Hi, there!

Dave-El here and welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You.

Monday, I anticipated being quite busy for the coming week and noted I might not being able to post anything. Well, that was an understatement. Except for a brief placeholder for my weekly Saturday Doctor Who post, I had no chance to do anything with this blog. 

So what now? Well, now is time for VAY-CAY!

Yes, vacation time but I'll actually have time to draft and post new stuff....

Starting Monday.

But for today....

For those who love "topical" humor, you know how frustrating it is when The Daily Show or Weekend Update isn't new to make fun of the previous week's news and you're stuck with reruns of old jokes about old news?

I know I hate it when that happens.

Well, guess what?


Today, on I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, we take a special look back at the some of the classic headline comedy posted in the first month of this blog. 

So let's relive some of the laughs we shared in March 2013.

________________________________

From March 2, 2013: 

"Horse Meat Found At Taco Bell"
>>>Hey, everybody! Actual MEAT was found at Taco Bell!
  
"Another Huge 'Downton Abbey' Departure"
>>>Angrily declaring, "I've HAD it with this shit", the Abbey itself packs up & leaves
 
From March 3, 2013:



"Russian meteor stalked us for millennia, experts say"
>>>Lurking in the hedges, going thru our garbage, phone calls late at night... 

"Mom defends letting the Web name her baby"
>>>Years from now, Mr. or Ms. #JustinBeiber4Ever can work it out in therapy.
 
From March 5, 2013:

"Jon Stewart taking 'Daily Show' break to direct film"
>>>Meanwhile Craig Kilborn taking a Redbox break to rent a movie. 

From March 8, 2013:

U.S. Catholics Say The Church Is Out Of Touch
>>>Church sends message of disagreement via telegram.

From March 15, 2013:

“Maryland To Ban Death Penalty”
>>>Texas takes up the slack with a two-for-one death penalty deal! 

“Paul Ryan Pretends Election Never Happened”
>>>Looking the other way when Mitt Romney walks in the room...AWKWARD!

From March 17, 2013:

"Ann Coulter delivers jokes, barbs at CPAC"
>>>Nice to see the GOP appealing to that all-important crazy blonde drag queen demographic.

From March 22, 2013

Gingrich,Santorum Had Unity Ticket Plans To Topple Romney
>>>Plan doomed when Gingrich refused Santorum's request for a ban on orgies on Newt's moonbase


From March 24, 2013

'We're brothers': Pope meets ex-pope for lunch

>>>"Hey!You took the last drumstick, Francis!" "Stop punching me, Benedict!"


Kristen Stewart, One Direction win Kids Choice

>>>Remember, KIDS are our FUTURE,the same kids who voted for Kristen Stewart. So...  Fuck you, future!


From March 27, 2013 

Will Prince William lose his job?” 

>>>Or maybe he'll only be demoted to Assistant Prince.


From March 29, 2013

Teacher Criticized For Saying 'Vagina' Speaks Out
>>>He should use the scientific term: “vajayjay”  

Zombies May Not Be Legally Responsible For Eating
Bra-a-a-ains
>>>It’s OK, we weren’t using them anyway.


From March 31, 2013

Cardinal Dolan: church must embrace gays, lesbians”
>>>But not too close, more like hugging that aunt you don’t like at family reunions.

Oil pipeline ruptures in Arkansas, forces evacuations
>>>Let me tell you a little story about a man name—GLOOMPH! Glub. Glub. Glub.

________________________________

Thank you for indulging in that bit of nostalgia. Yes, it had its moments of charm and wit but I promise I will never resort to a "best of" compilation again.*

*Warning: already at work on future compilations.

So what's up for the future?

  • We need to earn some money so another And Now A Word From Our Sponsor is forthcoming.  Is Plain White Unmarked Van Emporium still our main advertiser? Will American Glory return to the fold? Is there yet another inconceivably odd business that will underwrite this blog?

  • More Strange(er) Adventures.
    • And along similar lines, I have another cover alteration project I hope to finally launch this week combining one of the all time greats of comic book artists with one of my favorite modern comedic actresses.

  • All NEW headlines and (alleged) jokes for this week's Broken News.

  • The LAST installment (sort of) of Journeys With the Doctor: My Stories of Doctor Who (to be followed by an ambitious NEW Untold Tales of Doctor Who).

  • And more stuff as it randomly pops into my brain. (Also lovingly known as "The Usual Shit".)

So thank you for stopping by and I hope you return again soon for I Am So Glad My Suffering Amuses You.

________________________________

And Dave-El can also be found on Twitter. Dave-El's self esteem is not contingent on your following him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/DayWayLo but, you know, if you happen to be in the neighborhood, no big whup, just, you know.....

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

...follow me...or not, I don't care really. (PLEASE!) 




















Saturday, June 29, 2013

My (NOT) Usual DOCTOR WHO Saturday Thing

Due to the big thing I'm working on this week, I do not have my usual Saturday Doctor Who post ready.

But here's a pic of the 8th Doctor making his first solo appearance in this blog as well as making note of the time until I return with an ALL NEW Journeys With the Doctor followed by an ALL NEW Untold Tales of Doctor Who.



In the meantime, be good to one another!

Dave-El

I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You

Monday, June 24, 2013

It's Not You, It's Me

Dave-El here!

If you've popped by to see what's up on I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, this post may be the last one on here for awhile.

I've got stuff to do this week that will demand a lot of my time so.....

....nothing new for the blog...maybe for a week.

I may give in and post something meaningful stupid if I am inspired incredibly bored.

Until then.....

Be good to one another!

Later! 

WHEN STARGRAVE STRIKES....Out.




Hi, Dave-El here! And this is my blog, I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You! And today, we are going to take a peek at some suffering, of a young boy's bitter disappointment, the first time that a young and innocent Dave-El would learn the cold and terrible truth....

Comic books aren't always as good as we think they're going to be.



Last time when we looked at the beginning of what was destined to be the most awesome epic of all time as the Legion of Super Heroes had met and being thoroughly defeated by the wielder of the power cosmic, Pulsar Stargrave!

He was just one man. But one man who possessed the power to  single handedly punch Superboy into outer space and defeat the Legion of Super Heroes. But for all his power, Stargrave sought to defeat someone even more powerful and he wanted the Legion
to be his army.

The Legion did not take too kindly to this request but one member had a secret....



So what was going to happen next?

Li'l Dave-El could barely imagine...

 A battle royal between the Mordru and the Legion lead by Pulsar Stargrave?!

Mordru defeated, Stargrave destroys the Legion?!

Braniac 5 must make a terrible choice?!

The Legion's only hope...is to restore Mordru?!

What amazing things would unfold next in this epic saga of power, treachery and the fate of the universe in the balance?
                         
This.






This is what happened next.





It was the story of the next election for Legion leader. Seems Superboy won but he can't be leader since he's only part time (being from the past and all) so Wildfire has the gig which seems like a bad idea or at least Superboy thinks so as he's acting like a total ass and...

WHERE THE HELL IS MY STARGRAVE STORY?!?!

Where's Jim Shooter? Paul Levitz is listed as the writer! What the...?

And even more egregious? Somebody named Jim Sherman is the penciller and I don't like it! I don't like it all! Since my very first issue of Superboy, the only artist was Mike Grell!!

Boys and girls, this was all well before the Internet. In fact, things were so primitive that we still got our comic book news from town criers!*

*"Hear ye! Hear ye! Green Lantern teams up with the Flash next month! Superman foils attack by Lex Luthor! Hear ye!"

Anyway, this is what I was able to piece together:

Jim Shooter was over a Marvel, beginning the quest for power that would lead him to be their Editor in Chief for a period of time when nothing controversial ever happened.**

**Sarcasm. Deal with it.

Mike Grell decided he wanted to draw Batman which would have been cooler if David V. Reed wasn't still writing it.***

***Grell's first story: The Penguin engages in a complex strategy to lure Batman into a trap to be attacked by giant robotic birds. That Batman easily defeats in, like, 2 pages.

Paul Levitz, the fanboy-made-good writer of the Justice Society in All Star Comics, was a lifelong Legion fan so he was really psyched to be writing this book!

Now I don't know if Jim Shooter 1) didn't realize when he wrote "When Stargrave Strikes" that the opportunity to go to Marvel was just around the corner or 2) did know he was leaving and "When Stargrave Strikes" was a big "screw you" to DC on his way out the door, thinking "Let's see them fuck THAT up."

Which ever one it was, DC did, indeed, fuck that up.

Paul Levitz may have been a lifelong fan of the Legion but he either didn't know about Shooter's last story set up for Stargrave or he did know but just did not have a plan for it. Either way, Levitz did not address the Stargrave plot until his 2nd issue and in a 6 page back up where Braniac 5 learns the truth:

Pulsar Stargrave is really...the original Brainiac, the evil android foe of Superman from the 20th century.

Okay.

Now I guess there's nothing wrong with that twist....if it had come up later in what should've been an epic saga.  It may have been the crucial key for the Legion to finally figure out to defeat this son of a bitch once and for all.****

****Two words: "battery compartment"

But coming this early, the revelation of Stargrave's true identity seems to be a rush job cop out to get this over story over with so Levitz can do what he really wants with the Legion.

And nothing underscores that more than when this issue comes along:



First of all, it's written by Gerry Conway. So the epic began by Jim Shooter is not written by the life long Legion fan who was now the official writer of Superboy and the Legion of Super Heroes, Paul Levitz, but by DC's hired gun of choice, Gerry "I'll write anything for a check" Conway.+

+There's a lot of stuff that Conway has written that is quite good. But at this point in his career, Conway was writing almost every thing at DC, not all of which really played to Conway's strengths or even interests as a writer. 

And not only was this issue written by DC's hired gun writer of choice, it was penciled by DC's go to guy for penciling anything quick, Joe Staton.++

++Like Gerry Conway, Joe Staton was at a point with his work at DC where DC have him draw anything and not always with the best inkers for his type of art. Frank Chiramonte who did great work over Curt Swan, was totally all wrong for Staton. So guess how many times they would be paired up?

And the issue itself. OK, I've got to be fair here. I don't remember the details. Unlike "When Stargrave Strikes" which I can read at will from my memory, "The War at World's End" has no impression upon my recollection save one: it was a complete and utter disappointment. The Pulsar Stargrave that Shooter and Grell set up was nowhere to be found; instead, Conway & Staton delivered a standard tale of a meglomaniacal madman that is ultimately defeated by the same Legion that could not stand up to his power before.  The story accomplished it's goal: wrap this thing up!

Later after Paul Levitz left his first run as Legion writer, Gerry Conway was brought on as the new regular writer (and Joe Staton as regular artist). Later, artist Jimmy Janes came on board as the new artist+++ and there was an attempt to restore some of the power to Pulsar Stargrave.


+++Whatever happened to him?
 


Then later THIS happened:



And NOW I have lost all the will to go on any longer. You want to know more about Pulsar Stargrave? Go to the Wiki page here. 

At least Superboy and the Legion of Super Heroes never set me up and then disappointed me like that ever again.
__________________________

In a few weeks: The story of how Superboy and the Legion of Super Heroes sets me up and then disappoints me like that again.














STRANGE(er) ADVENTURES#5

 
 
For the original of this Gil Kane/Joe Giella cover from Strange Adventures#25,
go to here at the Grand Comics Database.
 

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Journeys With the Doctor: My Stories of Doctor Who#4

Welcome, gals and gals and a special hello to any visitors from wearing celery stalks in their lapels.  I'm Dave-El and this is my blog, I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You.

So far in this series so far, I've recounted:

Since the end of Part 2, Peter Davison has been sitting up...a lot.

But instead of moving forward, episodes kept jumping back to Robot (Tom's 1st story) or Spearhead From Space (introducing Jon as the Doctor). Would Peter Davison PLEASE stand up?

Well, eventually he does.

But in true timey wimey fashion, we're not going to start there. First, we're going to start...in the future which is now very much in the past....time travel, whattaya gonna do, huh?



 
___________________________
 
Part 4
"Is that still on?"



Fall 1990: It's a Saturday afternoon. I'm in my apartment and I'm bored.  Nothing to do and no plans until that evening so I begin idly surfing through the TV channels, looking for something, anything to watch.*

*This was life before the internet, children. Why we didn't all just die from boredom, we may never know.

I landed on the channel for NC Public Television where a travelogue program about an Eastern European country I care nothing about.. This was how bored I was:

"Yes, I will watch this travelogue program about an Eastern European country I care nothing about."

And so I did. Every excruciating second because I was...that...bored.

The show ended as I reached for the remote, determined not to get sucked into a program about the wonders of the Sudan or something when an announcer came on and said, "Coming up next: Doctor Who. Thanks for watching North Carolina Public Television."

I leaned forward in my chair.

Doctor Who?

Is that still on?

Spring 1983. Peter Davison stands up!

The Fifth Doctor has finally arrived!


And he's a mess! The regeneration is a bit wonky as the Doctor's mind spins and whirls through previous personas. (Hooking his fingers into his suspenders and going, "Adric, my boy" was a classic bit of Davison channeling William Hartnell.) Adric gets zapped into a trap by the Master (him again!) while Nyssa & Teegan try to figure out how to work the TARDIS and get the Doctor the help he needs, a quest that takes them to the planet Castrovalva. Except all is not what it seems as the Doctor slowly regains his wits, solves the mystery of Castrovalva and upends the Master's latest scheme.

I liked Peter Davison as the 5th Doctor. His youth brought a new energy and a unique perspective to our favorite Time Lord. But as I much as I thought that Davison made a very good Doctor, there were some things that I found to be, at the very least, a bit troubling.


One was the cast of companions. I was used to the Doctor having one companion on board the TARDIS and now the Doctor had three and I wasn't exactly enamored with any of them. Nyssa was a blank slate, Teegan was loud and Adric was whiny. I remember in the episode Kinda where the 5th Doctor seemed to have very good rapport with woman scientist named Todd (Nerys Hughes); at the end of the adventure when the Doctor is saying good-bye to Todd while the three companions are waiting by the TARDIS like impatient children.


I wished the Doctor would take Todd with him and leave "the kids" behind. And for a moment, I think the Doctor may have entertained the idea as well.

And collectively, the three companions took time away from the Doctor himself. The Doctor remained, in my opinion, under developed, a result of Peter Davison having to share screen time with 3 companions and the guest stars of any given episode. Davison's Doctor would have flashes of eccentricities one would expect from the Doctor. Jon Pertwee and Tom Baker may have approached the role differently but both were very much apart from the humanity around them; too often, Peter Davison just seemed more normal. Which is a weird state to be in, being normal while dressed in a cricket outfit with red striped trousers and a piece of celery in his lapel.

Eventually Adric is killed off to the heartbreak of no one and the Doctor finally drops Teegan's complaining ass at Heathrow Airport. At the beginning of Davison's 2nd season, we get to see the Doctor have some one on one time with Nyssa (who seemed just a bit more interesting on her own) and there's a hint of Davison's Doctor unemcumbered by the baggage of too many companions. But eventually Teegan makes her way back and another male 3rd companion, Turlough, is added so the TARDIS gets crowded again. At least Turlough was played by a better actor and had the added twist of being the companion out to kill the Doctor.

It was during Davison's 2nd season that the show reached its 20th anniversary and a special combining all 5 Doctors was conceived. But there were a couple of hitches:

  • William Hartnell, the 1st Doctor, was too ill to appear in more than a few pre-filmed bits inserted into the 10th anniversary show. Hartnell died 2 years after that. For the 20th anniversary, a clip of Hartnell from The Dalek Invasion of Earth was used at the beginning. From there, the 1st Doctor was portrayed by Richard Hurndall.

  • Tom Baker declined to return for the special so the appearance of the 4th Doctor in the special was portrayed by footage from the "lost" episode, Shada. A waxwork dummy was used for publicity photos.

Still, the special had an epic feel about it and was a lot of fun. It also had the distinction of being the first Doctor Who episode aired in America before it aired in England. I was home from college for Thanksgiving; reception of NC Public TV's signal in my parent's home was iffy but I was able to be able to a fairly decent picture to watch the special.


It was weird watching a new Doctor Who without my friends at UNC-G. It felt good being part of a group and I missed them when I had to go home. And I missed 1 person particularly.

Her name was Leslie and she was a Doctor Who fan. Except I did not know that when we first met or when we went on our first date. The story of how we met...will make for a good future blog. But we hit it off with each other very well. She was a girl...who liked comic books! (OK, not that a big a deal now, maybe, but back in 1983? Wowza!). After dinner, I walked her back to her dorm. I really liked this girl a lot and I didn't want to mess it up by making any hasty, ill-considered moves which would be all rubbish anyway. So our night was coming to an end. I didn't want it to end but I was going to be cool.

"It's getting late," I said, "Guess I better be on my way."

"Oh, it is," Leslie said, checking her watch. "I don't want to miss Doctor Who!"

Doctor...Who?

Forget "hasty" and "rubbish"! I kissed her right then and there. And she kissed me back. Then she asked, "Do you..want to come up and watch, you know, with me?"

Yes. Yes, I did.

And I did.

Fall 1990: As the saying goes, shit happens. By this point, I had not seen Leslie in 5 years. A lot of the friends from college had set off on the four winds to different places, different lives.  Graduation is a bomb that shatters the rarified world of college life, laying bare the world that follows, of jobs and responsibilities. 

I had been dating Andrea for about a year and we found ourselves caught up in the world of Star Trek: The Next Generation. She still loves to relive the story of my reaction to the end of The Best of Both Worlds-Part 1.


I had lost touch with Doctor Who. Almost.  But here it was. I had never seen the little man with the umbrella and the Scottish baroque before but Sylvester McCoy made for a most interesting Doctor, possessing an almost dark undercurrent to the outward clown persona.


Ace was most definitely a product of the 1980s with her leather jacket and boom box but she was feisty, this one. No fainting damsel was this one.

Still, it was clear the show was running on a shoe string and the shoe string was frayed. 

"Is that still on?" I had asked. I could not believe I had to ask myself that.


Fall 1984. I saw the Doctor Who story that many regard as the best story of the classic series. A story where the villain has complex motives and may even be regarded as somewhat sympathetic. There are scoundrels and ne'er do wells and schemers everywhere. And the Doctor has landed right in the middle of it and finds himself and his companion in mortal danger.  
This was The Caves of Androzani. By now the army of companions was gone. While there are some who may not regard Peri fondly, I for one was glad that Peter Davison's Doctor only had to talk to a single companion for a change. And that single relationship helped propel the story and make it stronger. For the Doctor has placed Peri in grave danger; his guilt over this and his resolve to save her drives him on even as the Doctor faces death, his bodied beaten, battered and wracked by the painful ravages of poison.  In the end, the Doctor pushes himself to his limits, then pushes past them, fighting off death not for himself but to save Peri.  And save her he does and only then does his dying body gives in.

And he begins to regenerate.





The best story of Peter Davison's time as the Doctor was also his last. 

And then this happens.

A strange man sits up in the muddied and tattered cricket suits and proclaims:




"Change, my dear, and it appears not a moment too soon."

I really want to hate this
son of a bitch.

---to be concluded-----
 
_________________________________________________
 
Later: "The sea's asleep, and the rivers dream"

On the next Journeys With the Doctor: 
My Stories of Doctor Who   

 
 


 
 
















Saturday, June 22, 2013

BROKEN NEWS for Friday, June 21st

Here in one handy-dandy place,
it's

__________________________________________________

It's Friday! It's Dave-El on Twitter with brought to you by Asparagum, the great taste of peppermint & asparagus in 1 great gum!

“FBI director: We use drones for surveillance in the US” Adding, “We also use drones to pick up the First lady’s dry-cleaning"

“Palace issues new details on birth plans for Duchess Kate” During labor pains, Kate may address the prince as “Royal Asshole”

“Obama: It's time to cut Cold War nuke arsenals” GOP wants to shoot off a nuke first, just one, just for fun! C'mon!

“Biden: White House has not 'given up' on gun control” Obama: "We haven’t given up on what now?"

“House GOP Pushes 'Cruel And Divisive' Food Stamp Measure” No, using Hunger Games to earn food stamps is a great idea!

“Unbelievable Number Of Shootings By FBI Agents Deemed Justified” The FBI is doing a fine job, says the FBI.

“'Ex-gay' group says it's shutting down”, saying “We still hate gays; it’s just not as much fun anymore.”

“Boehner: House to 'work its will' on immigration” Then he raised his cape to his eyes & vanished into the night! Blah!

“Disgraced Host Lands At Fox News” There’s section at the top of the Fox job application: “Disgraced, check yes or no”.

I thought Paula Deen had found work there but no. FoxNews execs said, "Even we have standards which kind of surprised us"

Speaking of Fox News, it's time for WHAT THE HELL IS AMANDA BYNES UP TO THIS WEEK?! week week week....

Fox News reports "Amanda Bynes has breast implants removed" Well, they PARTAYED in da clubs like VIPs leaving Amanda in the car!

Amanda Bynes' breast implants would tell her they were still friends but she knew them bitches was lying!

“Atheist Seeking Citizenship Told She Must First Join Church” Atheists just don’t have a prayer, do they?

Now , brought to you by Athletic Supporters United! Help poor young men play sports! Be a young man's athletic supporter today!

“Heat repeat: Miami scores third NBA title” This should help Lebron with those low self esteem issues he struggles with.


“It’s a first! Queen’s horse wins Gold Cup” Camilla came in second; not her horse, Camilla! (Camilla=horse, never gets old)

Top Secret NSA Spying Rules Revealed On the list: If I tell you, I really don’t HAVE to kill you. We’re just fucking with you.

Finally on "Food Network ...will not renew Paula Deen's contract" Paula's drowning her sorrows with a large glass of butter

She really wants to change. Just last night, she only used the N-word once while eating her blackened chicken.

This has been , brought to you by Asparagum..for minty fresh breath & stinkier pee, chew Asparagum, the asparagus chewing gum.


ENCORE POST: Vox Populi: What It Is and How to Avoid It

Yesterday, after years of bitching about it, Republicans once more whiffed their chance to repeal Obamacare and replace it with... well, cra...