Sunday, June 9, 2013

Things I Will Teach My Child

Hi there! Dave-El here and welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You.

Here in the USA (A world leader in cheese consumption!), most schools are in the process of closing for the summer as kids take the next couple of months forgetting every thing they learned in the previous school year. 

Here are some thoughts I have on education:

  • Learning should never stop. Everyone, children and adults and adults who act like children, should challenge themselves to learn something new every day.

  • Parents must act responsibly towards a child's education. Talk to your children about what they learned at school, inquire to their obligations for homework and class projects, and help them with the lessons that children must learn to live their lives.

  • Schools can't teach everything. There are some things that schools, public or private, cannot always (if ever) convey, such as guidance on how to live our lives as well rounded and honorable individuals with regard for others.

With all this in mind, I joined a conversation on Twitter a few days ago under the topic "".

Presented below is a record of my Tweets on this subject, my heartfelt view on the lessons I wish to impart to my child.


The human brain will triumph over brawn...especially when that brain designs an orbiting death laser.

Power should be used use the death laser to blow up something minor, as a demonstration of that power.

We all make mistakes, it's how we learn and grow. So you blew up Wilmington DE instead of Wilmington NC? It's OK.

Always think before you leapa valuable lesson for the next time you calibrate the death laser targeting system.

Beware hubris, embrace humility. So when you tell the world's leaders you have an orbiting death laser, don't brag.

Time is precious; don't waste yours or anyone else's. Upfront tell the leaders "I want a billion $ in gold bullion"

Be clear, don't play games. Just say, "No gold, I blow up Rhode Island in 24 hrs." People will appreciate that.

Life is a gift, treasure it. Remember, people are important to our plans for a slave labor economy under our rule.

Respect & be kind to people. Your best laid plans for world conquest can be scuttled by a pissed off minion.

With great power comes great responsibility. When you use the death laser, be sure the power relays don't overheat.

Oh, and safety first! Be sure to wear your flare proof goggles cause the death laser can put out a lot of light.

Above all else, my child, remember: I will always love you. Now, you & me, kid; what say we vaporize Rhode Island?


As I look over these lessons that I will impart to my child, I am filled with hope for our future, a bright and shining future where the children of Earth can grow to their full potential under the watchful and benevolent gaze of I, your ruler, and, in time, under the rule of my child.

Before I go, I would entreat you to remember two very important things:

  • Education is important always, for children and adults.

  • A death laser is in orbit over this planet and it is under my control.

Remember those two things and you will have a wonderful and fulfilling destiny under my ultimate authority.


To ensure my continued benevolence
in the coming days of my empire, it
would be advisable to follow me on
Twitter at---

Counting Down To Infinity