Friday, June 7, 2013

The NSA Is Calling!


 

Hi, Dave-El here and welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, a blog targeted by clandestine spy organizations AND the AARP.*

*I suspect they are in cahoots.**
**Did I just say "cahoots"?***
***God, I'm old.

A big story this week was the kerfluffle+ over the NSA nosing around lots and lots of private call information involving millions of Americans.++

+Seriously? "Kerfluffle"? You know, I should just fill out that damn form and get my AARP card now. It's only a matter of time before I'm wearing black socks with shorts and yelling at kids to get off my lawn.

++For more on the NSA story, go here.

There is considerable consternation over another intrusion into our private lives by Big Government+++

+++B-Gov to it's homeys, yo!.

But like a lot of other things that bother us (or should), Americans are exploring ways to mock this.

Tonight on Twitter, the hast tag  was trending. So I used this opportunity to tell the story of my relationship with the NSA. It started so well.

How could it have gone so horribly wrong?

How?!?

_____________________________________________________


my missing TV remote is under the 2nd couch cushion. Why, thanks, NSA!

they're going to be a bit late for spying on me from the hedges & did I need anything from the store? So sweet, NSA!

that I really need to call my mom! You know, I really do! NSA, thanks for looking out for me & keeping me straight!

these pants don't go with this shirt. Gosh darn it, they don't! What was I thinking? NSA's fashion sense saves the day!

I should STOP DOING THAT! Whoa! NSA, you startled me! And I wasn't..you know, I was just scratching an itch...down there.

the soap I'm using now in the shower can lead to dry, itchy skin. Thanks, I think? (Is there a camera in the shower?)

I could be using a more economical & environmentally friendly brand of toilet paper. What th-? OUT, NSA! This is ME time!

it was sorry for bothering me on the toilet. And in the shower. And watching my wife & I have sex. Wait! What the hell?!

it didn't mean to make me mad or hurt and can we still be friends? I don't know, NSA; you've done some bad things.

it still loves me.

something or another, I don't know. I'm letting the calls go to voice mail as I sit silently on the floor in the dark.
_____________________________________________________

Oh, what a sad ending. But sometimes, the sweeter the love, the more bitter its end.

Well, enough of that.

Coming up next on the blog:

  • A new installment of Broken News including headlines that I will not post on Twitter so only the blog readers will suffer through ALL the headlines.
  • Another installment of my Doctor Who remembrances (with a dash of the present to chat about the departing Matt Smith.)
  • Lessons I wish to share with my child to help her prepare for the future, a future where we shall rule the Earth!
  • More Strange(er) Adventures.
  • The long awaited Legion of Super Heroes post. (It could happen!)
  • And...a certain sitcom girl meets the King of Comics!

And I'm on Twitter too at https://twitter.com/DayWayLo

So that's all, folks! Later!


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