Friday, June 7, 2013

The NSA Is Calling!


Hi, Dave-El here and welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, a blog targeted by clandestine spy organizations AND the AARP.*

*I suspect they are in cahoots.**
**Did I just say "cahoots"?***
***God, I'm old.

A big story this week was the kerfluffle+ over the NSA nosing around lots and lots of private call information involving millions of Americans.++

+Seriously? "Kerfluffle"? You know, I should just fill out that damn form and get my AARP card now. It's only a matter of time before I'm wearing black socks with shorts and yelling at kids to get off my lawn.

++For more on the NSA story, go here.

There is considerable consternation over another intrusion into our private lives by Big Government+++

+++B-Gov to it's homeys, yo!.

But like a lot of other things that bother us (or should), Americans are exploring ways to mock this.

Tonight on Twitter, the hast tag  was trending. So I used this opportunity to tell the story of my relationship with the NSA. It started so well.

How could it have gone so horribly wrong?



my missing TV remote is under the 2nd couch cushion. Why, thanks, NSA!

they're going to be a bit late for spying on me from the hedges & did I need anything from the store? So sweet, NSA!

that I really need to call my mom! You know, I really do! NSA, thanks for looking out for me & keeping me straight!

these pants don't go with this shirt. Gosh darn it, they don't! What was I thinking? NSA's fashion sense saves the day!

I should STOP DOING THAT! Whoa! NSA, you startled me! And I wasn' know, I was just scratching an itch...down there.

the soap I'm using now in the shower can lead to dry, itchy skin. Thanks, I think? (Is there a camera in the shower?)

I could be using a more economical & environmentally friendly brand of toilet paper. What th-? OUT, NSA! This is ME time!

it was sorry for bothering me on the toilet. And in the shower. And watching my wife & I have sex. Wait! What the hell?!

it didn't mean to make me mad or hurt and can we still be friends? I don't know, NSA; you've done some bad things.

it still loves me.

something or another, I don't know. I'm letting the calls go to voice mail as I sit silently on the floor in the dark.

Oh, what a sad ending. But sometimes, the sweeter the love, the more bitter its end.

Well, enough of that.

Coming up next on the blog:

  • A new installment of Broken News including headlines that I will not post on Twitter so only the blog readers will suffer through ALL the headlines.
  • Another installment of my Doctor Who remembrances (with a dash of the present to chat about the departing Matt Smith.)
  • Lessons I wish to share with my child to help her prepare for the future, a future where we shall rule the Earth!
  • More Strange(er) Adventures.
  • The long awaited Legion of Super Heroes post. (It could happen!)
  • And...a certain sitcom girl meets the King of Comics!

And I'm on Twitter too at

So that's all, folks! Later!

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