HOW 'BOUT THEM THERE CHICAGO CUBS!!!
World Series Champions for the first time since 1908! That's a long time back! Never mind "Wow! That's before the internet!" I don't think they had pencils back then. Letters had to be written using tiny pieces of twig and pools of your own blood. Letters were, you would understand, rather short.
Sorry, Delores, Harold passed out from blood loss.
But you go, Cubs! Man, this was a tense series. Going into the World Series, everybody just figured it was the Cubs' year and they would win the thing. But the Cleveland Indians made things really tense by pulling ahead to a 3 to 1 lead and all of sudden, we're all in a panic!
This is not how it's supposed to go! I've got money on this series! I've bet the house and the kid's college fund!
DON'T FUCK THIS UP FOR ME, CHICAGO!!!!
But after a very intense game 7, the Chicago Cubs finally claimed their destiny and I think everything is going be OK.
Any parallels to the current US presidential election are purely coincidental.
Speaking of which. I know there's a lot of stress out there over the outcome of the Presidential election. There is a sense of palpable fear that after all this time, we might actually elect Donald Trump as President of the United States.
But really, there's no need to worry. You know who isn't worried? Hillary Clinton! That's right! Just look at her...
All relaxed and laughing. Good for her! What will be will be! Take what life gives you and just do the best you can! You can fret in the face of frustration and worry or...
...you can laugh.
Er, Hillary's still laughing?
OK, cut her some damn slack! All the shit she's put up with, she deserves some down time, some relaxed time, some fun time!
Hey, what's the current President doing to relax?
|President Obama Practices |
His Pig Hollerin' Skills
Hey, the title of the post says we're doing bROKeN nEWs today. I should be getting to that.
bROKeN nEWs is a semi-irregular feature on I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You engaging in news satire. Remember, satire is a form of humor where if you don't think it's funny, its your fault.
bROKeN nEWs headlines are off in 5...
Down To The Wire And Way Too Close For Comfort
Are we talking about the Presidential campaign or a badly fitting worn out bra?
I’m thinking Donald should've stopped campaigning around June. Of last year.
Female Breast Inspectors? (Donald sure hopes so!)
|"Me Cookie Monster! Me want...hold on, it's right on the tip of my tongue. Wait! I don't have a tongue? Me want tongue! Also want...Me want....Me need to think about it."|
Maybe we should check in on Hillary...
Ooh boy! I think the pressure's getting to her.
Look, if you’re prepared to accept Donald Trump for his hateful rhetoric, ill advised policies, complete ignorance of how government works, a total disregard for our allies, a nasty temperament and more, well, in that context, being a p***y grabber is really more of an asset than a liability.
Militia groups are energized? So fear and hatred succeed where Viagra didn’t.
In Hannity’s defense, the idea that Clinton is really the demi-gorgon from Stranger Things just seems like something that would be true.
Back to the headlines!
OK, I think there might be a few bugs in that GOP African American outreach program.
Hold up there, Ron, old buddy; she hasn’t been elected yet. You can’t have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat!
Ah, nothing says “autumn” like pumpkin spice ice cream.
|"Welcome to... The Neftlix Show! |
The show on Netflix that's about Netflix!"
He wants to capture Moose and Squirrel.
When I was a kid, it was called a "TV antennae".
By the way, if you have conjunction, you should probably go see your doctor.