Friday, June 30, 2017

Please Just Stop. This Isn't Normal.

Donald Trump has, for good or ill (mostly ill) made the cover of Time magazine. But it's this cover...


...that has a place of honor in the lobbies of several Trump resorts. 

Except... it's a fake. 

There are several tells in the design of the cover that gives it away as a fraud but the biggest flaw is the cover date: March 1, 2009. 

Time did not publish an issue on March 1, 2009. he issue cover dated March 2, 2009 featured Kate Winslet on the cover. 

I guess I could post the Kate Winslet Time cover but I found a better cover shot of Ms. Winslet. 


Oh, good ol' GQ magazine. Don't go changing. Stay classy.  

Now why would a guy who has been on the cover of Time many times for realsies (including his 2016 Man of the Year cover) put a fake cover up for display? 

It is possible Trump didn't realize it was fake. Seeing the gushing accolades with his photo, Donald probably thought, "eh, that sounds about right."  In the world inside his head, he thinks he's loved and admired by most people. 

He's not. But don't tell him that. He thinks everyone regards him with awe and respect so he will not tolerate desent in the ranks. 

Which brings us to...THIS!   

Donald Trump took time out from playing President to address the terrible scourge that is the MSNBC show "Morning Joe". Hosts Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski were described as “psycho” and “crazy”. 


Here’s what MSNBC said about that. “It’s a sad day for America when the president spends his time bullying, lying and spewing petty personal attacks instead of doing his job.” 


But Li’l Donnie was mad and he going to let those meanies on “Morning Joe”  know about it.


I heard poorly rated @Morning_Joe speaks badly of me (don't watch anymore). Then how come low I.Q. Crazy Mika, along with Psycho Joe, came..

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 29, 2017


...to Mar-a-Lago 3 nights in a row around New Year's Eve, and insisted on joining me. She was bleeding badly from a face-lift. I said no!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 29, 2017


“So THERE! Hmph!” And Li’l Donnie waddled off to pick a fight with his Speak ‘n’ Spell. The cow goes “moo”? FAKE NEWS!


Here’s what some Republicans had to say about that.


Mr. President, your tweet was beneath the office and represents what is wrong with American politics, not the greatness of America.

— Lindsey Graham (@LindseyGrahamSC) June 29, 2017


You know what, Lindsey? Challenge Trump to a duel. Go on! As a courtly Southern gentleman, you would be perfect! When was our last good duel? Hamilton/Burr? It’s been that long?


Please just stop. This isn't normal and it's beneath the dignity of your office.

— Ben Sasse (@BenSasse) June 29, 2017


Anything Trump does is beneath the dignity of something else. Trump was beneath the dignity of The Apprentice. Trump was beneath the dignity of the Miss USA Pageant! Trump’s beneath the dignity of Vince McMahon! Trump is beneath the dignity of urinating Russian hookers! Name anything: Trump is beneath the dignity of whatever it is. 


This has to stop – we all have a job – 3 branches of gov’t and media. We don’t have to get along, but we must show respect and civility.

— Sen. Susan Collins (@SenatorCollins) June 29, 2017


“But I don’t wanna!” Li’l Donnie says petulantly as he kicks his broken Speak ‘n’ Spell. It insisted on lying to him, telling him the cow goes “moo”. FAKE NEWS!


“Respect and civility”? That’s for losers. Wimps and LOSERS!


I don’t know what exactly Joe & Mika said to set Trump off. Hell, I don’t think Trump really knows either. “I heard poorly rated @Morning_Joe speaks badly of me (don't watch anymore).”


You “heard”? He doesn’t watch the show anymore? So Trump got all ticked off about something that came to him second-hand, apparently.  


It seems, America, that we have not been clear enough.


Donald, we hate you. 

All of us… hate you. 

OK, maybe not ALL of us. There are still holdouts in the hinterlands of America’s back roads and back woods. 

Fox & Friends really loves you; Steve Goocy is ready to suck your dick and he’ll push that hot blonde number on the couch aside to do it first. 



Damn it all to hell, look at them with their smug, self-righteous faces. No wonder people who watch Fox News are always angry: the glare from their teeth induces headaches.

And the Republicans? Well, they may hate you but they’re keeping it down because they gave up their souls for power and they don’t wanna think they gave up their souls for nothing.


But everyone else? We hate you! There is nothing that Joe and Mika could’ve said that equals our contempt for you. You think Joe and Mike were mean to you? We, the rest of us trying to cling to some withering vestige of hope and sanity.. we hate you! And we wish (oh we wish really, really hard every day) that you will go away.


Or at the very least, in the words of Ben Sasse: “Please just stop. This isn't normal ." 

Amen, brother! A-frickin'-men.

Doctor Who: Welcomes & Farewells

It's been a week since the  BBC announced that actress Jodie Whittaker will play the Thirteenth Doctor on Doctor Who and I'm stil...