Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Not Well Wednesday

WARNING: the following post will make references to vomit, poop and Donald Trump. We're sorry.
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Hi there. Dave-El here reporting mostly live from the deep dark inner recesses of the Fortress of Ineptitude. 

I'm home with my stomach. 

Which is a stupid thing to say. I'm home with all my internal organs. I tend to take them wherever I go.  

I'm home because my stomach is sick and decided to ruin the party for everybody else in my body. My esophagus is particularly pissed off. "Hey buddy! When I send stuff down, you don't send it back up! Got me? This ain't no 5 star restaurant where you can send something back if you don't like it! Hey, don't gurgle at me!"  

Yes, I've been throwing up and yes, I know, I know, it's gross and disgusting and you don't want to hear about it. You can tell people about almost anything related to body functions. 

"I just took a shit so big, I'm able to pull my belt in another notch!"

"Damn! That's awesome! Hey, I had to vomit so much last night I..."

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! We don't wanna hear about that!"  

Yeah, you mention throw up, vomit, hurl, upchuck, spew or whatever, people will wince. They will hear you and feel your pain about almost anything else but you mention throwing up, they're putting their hand up and protesting, "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! We don't wanna hear about that!"  

I don't wanna really want to talk about that. 

So let's move on.

Yesterday's post about how Donald Trump is only the President of the parts of the USA that voted for him was rather insightful. Not that original. I'm sure others have written about this same topic. 

Including me. A reader pointed out that I dealt with this same perspective back on March 20th, He's Just Not That In To You. I honestly did not mean cheat off myself; I'd forgotten I wrote it. 

So look for a new post in September, Donald Trump & His Nation of Only Stupid White People. 

OK, there are people out there who are PAID to do this. After being on vacation for a week, both Stephen Colbert and Seth Meyers were back with material on Trump that is really funny with lacerating honesty. One of the best written bits on what the hell is going on is Seth's A Closer Look segment.  Click here for Monday's segment on Trump pissing off the rest of the world. 

It's easy to make fun of Trump. 

1) Write down what he says.
2) Repeat it

Bonus if you can go to step 3.

3) Show video clip of Trump contradicting what he said. 

You can also do this with Sean Spicer, KelleyAnn Conway and My Pants---DAMMIT! Mike Pence. The opportunities for hilarity basically write themselves.  

OK, that's that for me. On the plus side, my tummy is starting to feel better. I may even have a sandwich.  

Until next time, remember to be good to one another.  



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