Synonyms Of The Union

Last night, Li’l Donnie Trump put on his big boy pants to try and act like a grown up person for about 60 minutes (more or less) in his State of the Union address to the joint houses of Congress. 

 

The editorial staff (that’s me) of I’m So Glad My Suffering Amuses You feels that you and I have suffered enough when it comes to coping with the bullshit that Commander Bone Spurs decides to spew towards the America public. So there will be no pithy remarks or insightful assessments of Li’l Donnie’s remarks. As I am writing this in advance of this spectacle, this is the full extent of my analysis of last night's speech. 

 

Donald Trump deceived the American public.  

Donald Trump misled the American public.  

Donald Trump misrepresented the truth to the American public.  

Donald Trump concocted reckless fantasies

 in defiance of fact. 

Donald Trump deluded himself

and still seeks to delude his supporters.  

Donald Trump dissembled. 

Donald Trump distorted the facts. 

Donald Trump continued to dupe his supporters.  

Donald Trump exaggerated the threats to America

and his own accomplishments. 

Donald Trump fabricated threats and menaces

to frighten the American public.  

Donald Trump falsified his role in anything that went wrong.  

Donald Trump fudged the truth

whenever he didn’t outright ignore it.  

Donald Trump maligned anyone who does not proffer sufficient fealty to Trump.  

Donald Trump sought to misinform his supporters about the problems American face

and his solutions to those problems.  

Donald Trump continues to pervert honesty,

decency and integrity.  

Donald Trump was untruthful.  

 

To summarize, Donald Trump LIED.

 

Although this was written hours ahead of the State of the Union, I fully expect to stand by every word I wrote after Trump waddles off his stage.