An Audience of One

Yesterday morning, I needed to run an errand away from the office for a few minutes. NPR was covering the impeachment hearings from Congress and the timing of my excursion meant that I got to hear the tail end of the opening statement from Devin Nunes.

Lucky me.

Devin was using his time to rant about the injustice being perpetrated against Donald Trump. He said the American people know fake news when they hear it and thankfully there are sources for the truth while the liberal media serves their Democratic puppet masters.

Devin, I think, may have been dropped on his head when he was a baby. I mean, repeatedly.

Devin Nunes is the guy who’s suing a fictional cow for making fun of him. 

Devin, like all of Li’l Donnie’s ass kissers, was not talking to me. Or to you or to even his constituents back home.

That diatribe was meant for an audience of one: Li’l Donnie John Trump.  

And others for the Republicans during the hearings have tailored their messages for maximum appeasement of the orange hued moron.  

These hearings can be a weird disjointed affair. Adam Schiff and the Democrats are asking probing questions about the matter at hand, trying to determine who knew who was doing what and when.

Then Devin and the GOB take their turns to veer off into flights of conspiratorial fancy; apparently Nunes is obsessed with Democrats getting their hands on nude pictures of Donald Trump. NO ONE wants nude pictures of Donald Trump, Devin. Except, maybe you? 

Or sometimes the GOP line of questioning descends into absurd literalism. For example, bribery isn't bribery if none of the parties doing the bribery or are the target of the bribery actually say the word "bribery".  

Whatever it takes to make Li'l Donnie happy. 

And apparently it's working? Donald Trump told reporters he thinks the Republicans are absolutely crushing it in these hearings.  

The facts of the matter would suggest otherwise. 

But facts matter little to Li'l Donnie.

Facts matter little when talking to an audience of one.