Consider
this simple three word sentence:
“I always lie.”
Consider
these three words are uttered by someone who has consistently lied to you.
“Superman
is published by Marvel Comics.”
“Adam
Sandler is the star of Brooklyn Nine Nine.”
“Cucumber
is a form of meat.”
“Yellow
and blue make purple.”
“Ryan
Gosling and Ryan Reynolds are the same person.”
“Lady
Gaga is Madonna’s mother.”
“Spongebob
Squarepants lives in a pumpkin under the sink.”
And
so forth and so on.
After
a litany of such statements, this person adds:
“I
always lie.”
Is
this a true statement?
Given
the endless list of lies before it, yes, it would seem to be true. This person always
lies.
Except…..
“I
always lie” is a lie because it is true.
Wait! What?
Let’s
chat about Michael Cohen a bit.
In
his public testimony to Congress, here was the Republicans’ strategy.
“Michael
Cohen lies.”
“Michael
Cohen is a liar.”
“Michael
Cohen is a lying liar.”
“Michael
Cohen is a lying liar who lies.”
“Michael
Cohen lies like a liar.”
“Michael
Cohen lies like a lying liar.”
“Michael
Cohen lies like a lying liar of lies.”
It’s
kind of a subtle strategy. I hope you can pick up on it.
To
be fair, Michael Cohen is a liar.
Michael
Cohen is a convicted liar.
He
is in fact going to prison in May for lying.
He’s
going to be in prison for three years for lying.
Michael
Cohen will lose three years of freedom for being found guilty of telling lies
like a lying liars of lies.
Michael
Cohen is a convicted liar for lying to Congress on behalf of Donald Trump.
Congressional
Republicans are of the mind set that just because Michael Cohen has changed
from speaking on behalf of Donald Trump to speaking against Donald Trump, he’s
still lying.
“If
you were lying to Congress then, why should we believe you’re not lying to
Congress now?”
Let’s
make no mistake here. Michael Cohen is no angel. There is no reason to believe
that Cohen wouldn’t still be living off the largesse of being Donald Trump’s personal
attorney, living an extravagant lifestyle while fixing Trump’s problems through
legalese, bribery, blackmail and coercion if life had taken a different path,
say a path that didn’t have Donald Trump descend an escalator in the summer of
2015 to declare he was running for President.
But
Michael Cohen ran into a tangled web way beyond his capabilities and understanding.
He tried to talk his way out of his troubles. He lied. And now he’s facing real
consequences for those lies. Maybe such a man who’s reached a dead end where
lies will help him no more may in fact see that the truth is his only way out?
Maybe?
Perhaps
Congressional Republicans would’ve preferred this testimony from Michael Cohen.
“I
was lying then.”
“I
am lying now.”
“I
always lie.”
And
as the last sentence inched its way into the mangled software of their calcified
minds, we could watch those same Congressional Republicans short circuit.
“See!
He admits he always lies.”
“But
if he always lies, isn’t saying he always lies telling the truth?”
“Hold
on! If that’s telling the truth, then saying he always lies is…a lie?”
“Error.”
“Error.”
“Wait!
Michael Cohen lies like a lying liar of lies. He always lies. So if he said….”
“Just
a second, I think I’m getting a handle on this. If he said ‘I always lie’ and
he does always lie….”
“Error.”
“But
he does always lie, then saying ‘I always lie’ is the truth?”
“Hold
it! If ‘I always lie’ is the truth, then he doesn’t always….lie?”
“Error.”
“Error.”
“Truth...lies…”
“Error.”
“Lies…”
“Error.”
“Error.”
“Daisy.”
“Error.”
“Error.”
“Daisy.”
“Error.”
“Error.”
“Daisy,
daisy…..”
“Give
me your answer……"
"Truuuuuuuuuuu….”
“Error.”
"..."
"..."
"I always lie.”
"..."
“Error.”
“Daisy.”
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