It is more to the point about a family that is as dysfunctional as fuck, a fractured group of very damaged individuals whose lives have turned to shit and they seem incapable of stopping their own self-destruction even as they stand as the only defense against an encroaching apocalypse.
That is if their dysfunction doesn't actually cause the
apocalypse first.
I can't express how much I hate this show.
Don't get me wrong. This is a remarkably well made show.
It looks terrific with a unique visual aesthetic.
It sounds fantastic with a trippy soundtrack of pop tunes spanning decades.
It's smartly written with a balanced mixture of melodrama and humor.
The actors are superb in their roles, capturing nuances and complexities to bring to life fully actualized characters you dare to give a damn about.
Which is why I hate this show!
Umbrella Academy made me care, damn it!
THEY MADE ME CARE!!!!
The core of our cast are people captured in arrested development, some more literally than others. A life time of being groomed and trained by an emotionally cold and distant father has left our "heroes" brutally damaged.
Poor messed up Klaus, acting silly and flamboyant and deep diving into a drug fueled haze to hide from the pain and the horror that comes from a power that involves communicating with dead people.
Or Number Five, with the ability to teleport through space and time, denied so much as a name and denied human company as he grows up alone in a future wasteland of an Earth laid waste by the apocalypse.
Or Diego, tough as flint and cold, a fierce and deadly fighter who cares more for his family and for others than he would ever dare admit.
Or Luther, super strong and super loyal, willing to be the leader, the big hero, the big brother in a world and with a family he cannot fully comprehend.
Or Vonya, the one without powers, reminded on a daily basis that she is ordinary, that she is not special. She's only now after nearly 30 years discovering she has powers. Vonya goes from beaten down and unconfident to pulsating with incredible world shattering power, fueled by a rage that comes from manipulation, betrayal and neglect.
Agnes, the nice lady who makes the doughnuts down at the doughnut shop... hell, I cared about her!
The doughnut lady?!?!
THEY MADE ME CARE ABOUT THE DOUGHNUT LADY?!?!?
Which is a good thing, right? Umbrella Academy appealed not only to my imagination but to my emotional core.
But that ending...
For all of the 10 episodes of Season 1 of the Umbrella Academy , our main characters and even our supporting characters fought and fumbled against the fractures and fissures of lives that didn't make sense, against a world of seemingly boundless cold and cruelty, in defiance of an apocalypse that seems determined to come no matter what.
When the season ends, our heroes have not stopped the apocalypse. Their every mistake and misstep has served to not save the Earth but to bring the world completely and utterly into the cross hairs of Armageddon. As the moon shatters and rains down upon the Earth, bringing extinction to all life as we know it, Five surrounds the group in the swirling light of his power, ready to bring him and his family into one last desperate leap to maybe, just maybe, save the day.
And then...
And then...
Cue credits!
What the holy fuck? REALLY?!?! We're going to end there?
Is there a second season? C'mon!! Ten hours I gave this show and THIS IS WHERE YOU LEAVE ME?!?!?
I can't express how much I hate this show!!!
I hate Netflix!
I hate whoever the fuck invented Netflix!
I hate whoever the fuck invented streaming!!!
I hate Gerard Way for writing the damn comic book that spawned the damned TV show!
I hate the band members of My Chemical Romance who failed to convince Gerard that he should focus solely on music and forget that silly idea of writing comic books!!!
I hate Major Malcolm Wheeler-Nicholson who in 1934 thought it would be a good idea to put a bunch of comic strips into a magazine, creating the medium we know of today as the comic book and leading to Gerard Way nearly 70 years later to write a comic book called the Umbrella Academy!!!
I hate the cave people who developed sequential art for their cave walls as a story telling device which laid the foundations for story telling in comic strips, comic books, movies and TV shows!!!
That's how much I hate this show!!!
Umbrella Academy made me care, damn it!!!!!
THEY MADE ME CARE!!!!
Stupid TV show. It hurt me.
..
..
I hope Agnes the doughnut lady is OK.
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Stupid TV show.
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