I Don’t Want No Raw Biscuit!

On Wednesday morning, I had a very not good biscuit for breakfast and it made me think of my mom. 

 

Let me clarify straight away that back in the day, my mom was a very good cook. 

 

So how does bad cooking make me think of my mom?

 

Because there were things she just wouldn’t let go of.

 

While she still lived at home and I would go visit her there, I would in the morning offer to buy her breakfast.

 

I would have to talk her into it because, as she would put it, “I don’t want no raw biscuit!” 

 

At some point in her past…whether it was weeks, months or years in her past, I was never quite sure. 

 

At some point in her past, someone brought her a sausage and egg biscuit from somewhere that wasn’t quite done.

 

It happened exactly once!

 

She never forgot it and was forever on guard of it happening again.

 

Each time I said I was going out to get some breakfast, she immediately went on high red alert against the dreaded raw biscuit.

 

“I don’t know if I want anything. Someone brought me a sausage and egg biscuit once that was so under done, it was downright raw! I don’t want no raw biscuit!” 

 

Since the incident with the dreaded raw biscuit, I and other members of the family had successfully delivered to her breakfast food that was properly prepared.

 

Before I or any other member of the family could embark on successfully delivering to her properly prepared breakfast food, we had to contend with the dreaded raw biscuit.

 

She would be assured that her breakfast would be properly inspected for appropriate levels of “done-ness” before we served it to her.

 

Thus mollified, albeit reluctantly,  she would consent to the purchase of food for breakfast which she would subsequently consume with satisfaction.

 

Until the next time someone wanted to buy her breakfast.

 

“I don’t want no raw biscuit!” 

 

Wednesday morning, I had my own encounter with the dreaded raw biscuit. 

 

A spur of the moment decision put me in a McDonald’s drive through for a sausage and egg biscuit and a sweet iced tea.

 

Upon arrival at my desk, I unwrapped my breakfast sandwich to find it lacking cohesion. The biscuit was very much not completely baked. 

 

Well, that sucked. My experience with McDonald’s breakfast is usually consistently OK. Not great but not bad.

 

This was bad.

 

So I guess any future visits to McDonald’s, I will need to be more on guard.

 

To quote my dear departed mom, “I don’t want no raw biscuit!”