Tuesday, December 30, 2014

For the 600th Time, I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You!


Hi there, Internetians! I'm Dave-El and this is my blog, I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, your online source for cardboard and cardboard derivatives.  

 After launching this blog back in March 2013, today I'm posting for the 600th j*7rkz....time. 

Sorry about that.  My computer is glowing some kind of weird green color and there's some strange sounds coming from my speakers, likely ghostly whispers.  Spooky! 

Anyway, I'm hoping today's commemoration of this blog's 600th $r6T9p...post goes... OK? 

It did again! That glow is getting brighter! And those whispers are getting louder! And does anybody know what this means: "Microsoft detects temporal error: Regression 600"

k0(j*uH&6t%4#2XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hello, readers! Today is December 30th, 1964 and golly, here we are at the end of another year, Gosh, I hope 1964 has been swell for you and 1965 is even better. Wouldn't that be groovy? 

I thought it might be cool to look back over some really nifty things that happened over the last month. 
  • December 1
    • Well, that whole police action thing over in Vietnam is still going on.  My cousin Steve says we should stop kidding ourselves; this is a war.  I'm not sure about Steve; he never cuts his hair and he smells funny. Anyway, President Lyndon B. Johnson has plans to bomb North Vietnam which I'm sure will put an end to that once and for all.  
  • December 3
    • Police had to arrest about 800 students at the University of California in Berkeley after they got together to stage something called a "sit-in". I'm not sure what's going on here but my Uncle Robert said those kids should behave themselves and go to class already. Actually, he used a bunch of words that I didn't recognize. Anybody know what exactly is involved when people "should go fuck themselves"? Just curious. I might ask in church this Sunday.  
  • December 6 
    • Did you see that Christmas special on TV, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer? I thought it was rather scary, especially when that mean old abominable snowman was about to eat Rudolph.  I'm glad it was in black and white or I maybe have really had the heebie-jeebies. Cousin Steve laughed at most of it. Mom hates it when Steve smokes in the house which is odd because everyone smokes in the house. But Steve's cigarettes do smell different. 
  • December 10 
    • Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize this month. I think Dr. King is a fine black man but Uncle Robert thinks Dr. King has the same problem as the students in Berkeley since he recommends the same self-fucking solution to both college students and Dr. King.
    • December 14 
      • There was the case called the "Heart of Atlanta Motel v. United States" that went all  the way to the U.S. Supreme Court which said racial discrimination was bad, that anybody should be able to stay at a hotel, no matter what your skin color is. I guess that makes sense. I really don't see a lot of black people during the day so I'm not the best judge of that. I know cousin Steve has a Negro he sees every other week or so, especially when his "cigarette" supply starts running low.  
    • December 21
      • The new James Bond movie, Goldfinger, came  out this month. Golly gee whiz, this was a really fun movie! Uncle Robert said it was OK but he wanted to see Honor Blackman's titties. Me and my friends saw this one a lot, almost 600 j*7rkz....times. 
        • Jeepers, what was that?   
    • December 27 
      • The Cleveland Browns defeated the Baltimore Colts, 27-0 for the football championship! Way to go, Cleveland! Cleveland is the BEST team in football! It's true and they'll always be the best, even 600 $r6T9p....years from....what?
        • "Microsoft detects temporal error: Regression 600"? What does that....
        • k0(j*uH&6t%4#2XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
    WHOA! 

    Quick, check the date! 

    OK, it's December 30th, 2014! 

    Whew! 

    I'm not sure how but a temporal vortex opened up that sent I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You back in time 50 years...or 600 months. 

    Weird. 

    Oh, it looks like I can type "600" without triggering a time travel event so there's that. 

    Readers, I am terribly sorry. I had a whole bunch of stuff planned for this 600th blog post but this whole time travel thing has left me very tired. So maybe I'll do all that stuff I planned when I get to blog post # 700...j*7rkz.

    Oh, shit. Not again. 

    Be good to one another. 

    And I'm so glad my suffering amuses you.  

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