Saturday, October 24, 2015

Politicking With Dave-El


Hey, kids! Let's take a look at what's going on in that crazy mixed up comedy we call American Politics. 
I call it... Politicking With Dave-El! 
C'mon, kids! It'll be fun! 








Joe Biden is not running for President.
Didn't see that coming. Oh wait, I did! You don't dilly dally that long to make a decision that leads to action. Running for President is a pain in the ass. Being President is a pain in the ass. If you think about something like running for President for too long, the negatives outweigh the positives. Joe Biden looked long and hard at what this whole President gig is about and wisely decided he didn't need this shit. 

To be honest, the train left the station a long time go. I think running for US President has to be an impulse buy because when you think about it, you realize it won't fit in your house and doesn't match your decorating style. Or you to have committed to this from a very early age. Which brings us to our next point...

Hillary's got this. The debate last week showed Hillary Clinton confident and in control. Not all her answers were golden but she looked like someone who could be in charge of a country. For awhile there this summer, it seemed like Clinton could only get bad press and nothing was going right. A lot of Democratic backers were getting nervous. Stories about her e-mails and Benghazi would just not go away. (But the whole Benghazi Brouhaha took a big hit this week. More on that later.) 

But don't forget Hillary's been planning this since she was 6 when she turned her bedroom into a replica of the Oval Office. She is in this for the long haul. As for these persistent issues, I think whatever drag those problems have her on campaign is starting to erode. Bernie Sanders was speaking for a lot of people when he said to Clinton, "We're tired of hearing about your damn e'mails." And speaking of Bernie...

Bernie Sanders has sufficient underwear, thank you. You know you've made it when someone does a kick ass impression of you on Saturday Night Live. Granted, SNL brought in a ringer to play Sanders but damn, I think having Larry David as Bernie Sanders has got the most perfect decision anybody every made about anything. One of Larry's lines as Bernie was, "I only have 1 pair of underwear. Some of these billionaires running for office, they have 3, 4 pairs!" Sanders is usually incredibly focused on his mission and doesn't usually have time for fluff questions about his hair and what tunes he has on his iPhone. But to this he had to respond. And Bernie Sanders has assured the American people....that he has more than one pair of underwear. Thank you for clearing that up, Bernie. And on the subject of clearing things up....

When will Benghazi be BenGONEzi? (Oh,why can't I get paid for wit like that?) There's been a steady drip of statements that the Benghazi committee is politically motivated to make Hillary Clinton look bad. Really? I'm shocked, shocked by that revelation! I mean, yes, there have already been other committees who have plowed through tons of documents, interviewed hundreds of witnesses and examined whole bunches of evidence to come to conclusion that yes, there were some missteps and bad calls but no one acted in a deliberately unethical way and this was, in the end, one of those tragedies that happens and the best we can do is learn from it and use that knowledge to not have that happen again. Millions and millions of dollars were spent in the dogged pursuit of the truth and when it was all said and done, it seemed there was nothing else to say. 

But the Republicans in Congress said, "Hold on a second! Are you sure we heard everything? Did we interview Clinton's accountant's manicurist's sister?" So many, many, many hours have been invested and more millions spent to do all this work again. And to what end? Well, according to erstwhile Speaker of the House candidate Kevin McCarthy, the goal of the committee was to bring down Hillary Clinton's poll numbers. (He was, of course, bragging about that.) And since then others have come forward to make  similar comments and accusations. If this committee cannot produce one iota of anything new that could incriminate Clinton in any wrongdoing, guess who's going to have some wonderful footage for her campaign ads come next fall? 

And some pretty good sound bites and visuals could be found at the committee hearing where Clinton testified (Testify, sister! Amen!) for 11 hours. ELEVEN hours. There are things I like doing that I wouldn't want to do for 11 hours. Clinton looked calm and professional while committee chair Rep. Ted Gowdy (R-SC) looked like a big dooty head. Benghazi is black mark on Clinton's record as Secretary of State but this whole GOP witch hunt centered around it could wind up helping Clinton. You know I mentioned the Speaker of the House position which brings us to...

Kneel before Paul! Damn, this is some mighty fine reverse psychology campaigning on the part of Paul Ryan. After Kevin McCarthy withdrew his name for consideration to be the next House Speaker, the whole House GOP blew up. "Oh my God, who will save us from our woe and lamentations?!?" And lo, the Republicans offered up prayers and sacrifices to entreat Paul Ryan to take this fucking job nobody wants. Paul said no. They asked again. Paul said no. The GOP looked around, found absolutely no one they wanted to have the job so they asked again. Paul said no again. Well, the House was stoked to a fever pitch about this. "We've got to have Paul Ryan! Only Paul Ryan can offer us salvation!" 

Basically the House GOP was a worked up teenage in the back of his van with a hot cheerleader that he will do ANYTHING to have sex with. So Paul Ryan opened his legs...er, I mean, the door a bit and said, "Maybe?" House Republicans were ecstatic! "Hot damn! We're going to get laid!" Paul Ryan owned the ball AND the court it was in. He laid out the deal this way. "I really don't want your Speaker job but I will consider it if....if...." And the House Repubs are like, "C'mon, baby! C'mon! Please!" Paul Ryan said, "I will consider the Speaker job if I have complete acceptance by ALL the House Republicans! I'm not going to put up with the fractured House bullshit you put John Boehner through for 4 years. You say you want me! Well, ALL of you have to want me or I won't put out...er, be the next House Speaker." An excellent variation on the "Kneel before Zod" strategy. Well played,Congressman Ryan. But here's something that's not going well at all....

Out of mind, out of time. Jim Webb who was polling at 1% (with a +/1 3 point margin of error) decided to drop out of the Presidential race. Well, more to the point, he's not going to seek the Democratic nomination. He may run as an independent. So a guy we've barely heard of thinks he can make it to the White House on his own. I'm not sure how much groundswell of support Webb can get from that 1% (with a +/1 3 point margin of error). Maybe he's going to threaten America to vote for him. He has admitted to killing a guy when he was a soldier in Vietnam. (I presume that was during the war.) So maybe Jim Webb can run under the campaign slogan, "Vote For Jim Webb For President 2016 or Else He'll Get That Crazy Look In His Eyes".  That might work. I'm not sure what else can work for Webb. Right now he's best known for complaining during the debate last week that he wasn't being given any time and then didn't say anything of consequence when he got time other than to complain about not getting enough time. And speaking of time...

Time ran out for Lincoln Chaffee. The Lincmeister, the Chaffarino dropped his bid for the Democratic nomination. And he was starting to get better. A meeting of Chaffee supporters at an area Denny's in Providence, RI saw an increase in support when the waitress had to bring over a 5th chair to the table. Too bad, another couple of weeks, Denny's might have had to push two tables together. Oh farewell, Lincoln Chaffee, we hardly knew ye. Seriously, we had no idea who you were. And if this feels like a post reaching a dead end...

That's all I've got for today. Tomorrow is Sunday which means a new Doctor Who post on Saturday night's new episode. Until next time, remember to be good to one another. 

Dave-El
I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You

Oh, here's a panel from a comic book about a white haired eccentric time traveler and his companion named Clara.


















Nope, not the 12th Doctor and Clara but Doc Brown and Clara from a Back to the Future comic book published back in the 1990's. Art by Nelson Dewey. 

Hey Y'all! Dave-El's Postin' Bonus Content! 

Here are some Tweets from Thursday evening. 


  1. Benghazi: dessert topping or toilet cleaner? The  isn't quite sure. Ted Gowdy suggests, "Hey, let's lick it again!"
  2. "A giant mutated Hillary Clinton is attacking Washington? This is our moment, lads!  AWAY!"
  3. Does Hamburger Helper really help make hamburger make a great meal? The  demands answers!
  4. Does the light really go out when the fridge door closes? The  has got to know! Leave no refrigerator unchecked!
  5. The  seek their own asses with one hand, engage 2nd hand when 1st hand unsuccessful but their asses elude them.
  6. The  wants to know: who, in fact, moved my cheese? They'll interrogate Mickey Mouse for 11 hours to find out!
  7. Next up, the  goes searching for Bigfoot! And they'll find him! Well, they'll say they found him.


All right, all right, all right! I'm going already! Geez!

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