Click here for the story the Onion posts every time there is a mass shooting.
Sadly, they post this story a lot.
And in case you were wondering...
Amended 02/16/2018: It appears this story about the number of school shootings has been discredited.
Trapped in a world he was not designed to cope with, Dave-El (the true Kryptonian name of alleged Earth creature David Long) writes about comics, Doctor Who, Star Trek, politics, the absurdity of the human condition and whatever other nonsense that befuddles his unbalanced mind. This is.... I'M SO GLAD MY SUFFERING AMUSES YOU!
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Schrödinger's Tortoise.
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