Today is Valentine's Day.
The worst "holiday" on the calendar.
You must find LOVE!
LOVE, damn it!
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!!!!!!!!!!
Do you not know "love"?
Are you not in love with someone?
Is there no one in love with you?
Well, doesn't it suck to be you!
Because here is a whole damn day devoted to reminding you that....
NO ONE LOVES YOU!!!!!!!
But what if there is someone you love?
And what if, gosh darn it, they love you back?
Well, now the pressure is on to find...
ROMANCE!!!!!!!
Get out the good clothes!
Get your hair done!
You need gifts...something ROMANTIC!!!
Flowers! Chocolates!
Jewelry! No, this is ROMANCE, damn it! Not just jewelry!
DIAMONDS!!!!!!
The pressure is on, pal!
Are you ready for....
ROMANCE?!?!?!?!?
OK, you have love!
And you have romance!
Now it's time for SEX!
SEX, damn it!!!!!!!
Man, Valentine's Day is the worst!
Trapped in a world he was not designed to cope with, Dave-El (the true Kryptonian name of alleged Earth creature David Long) writes about comics, Doctor Who, Star Trek, politics, the absurdity of the human condition and whatever other nonsense that befuddles his unbalanced mind. This is.... I'M SO GLAD MY SUFFERING AMUSES YOU!
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