Cinema Sunday: There Was a Crooked Man...

 

A few weeks ago on a late Saturday afternoon, I stumbled across a movie that piqued my interest.

There is something about late Saturday afternoons and stumbling across movies that pique my interest.

Well, on this particular late Saturday afternoon, the movie that piqued my interest was an odd western called There Was A Crooked Man...

It was directed by Joseph L. Mankiewicz who has directed some favorite classics I've posted about here in the past (All About Eve and The Ghost and Mrs. Muir).  

And the movie's opening credits play out over quite the jaunty tune. 

I was intrigued.  

It begins in 1883 with a robbery led by Paris Pitman Jr that nets $500,000 from a wealthy rancher named Lomax. 

The robbery does not go off without some bloodshed. The Lomax family picks off some of Paris' crew and what the Lomax family don't shoot. Paris himself picks off the strays himself.  

All alone, Paris absconds with his ill gotten gains, hiding the money in a snake pit.  (Not a euphemism; literally a pit under a rock in the desert filled with snakes.) 

Paris goes into town to celebrate at the local whorehouse where he is arrested and sent to prison. 

Other misdeeds occur in town (including 1 murder by billiard ball) which leads a whole of crew of people being sent to prison along with Paris. 

Paris is barely in through the front gate of the prison before he's already working on a way to escape. 

Well, he does have half a million dollars hidden in a snake hole. 

That stash of cash does give Paris some leverage with the less than noble warden of the joint. Paris may yet escape from this prison.

But that warden gets himself killed and is replaced by Woodward Lopeman. Lopeman is unflinchingly honest so Paris ain't gonna bribe himself out of this prison under his watch.

But Lopeman is remarkably progressive for a 19th century prison warden in the American West, abolishing hard labor, restricting cruel punishment and teaching the prisoners self-respect. 

Which are qualities than Paris Pitman Jr can use for his own nefarious purpose of getting out of prison.  

Paris formulates a complex series of machinations with a group of his fellow prisoners, all promised their freedom and a share of the loot Paris has stashed away.  

Remember how many men rode away from the Lomax robbery at the start of the movie for an idea of how well that's going to go. 

In the end, Paris Pitman Jr and ONLY Paris Pitman Jr makes it past the walls of the prison.  

Meanwhile, Woodward Lopeman may be a remarkably progressive 19th century prison warden but he sure has hell not letting Paris Pitman Jr get away with this shit.  

Suffice to say that Paris does not in fact get away with this shit while Woodward Lopeman rides across the border into Mexico with two bags filled with $500,000 in cash. 

There Was a Crooked Man... is an odd duck of a movie, an off kilter string of vignettes as we track Paris from his bold brash robbery through his time in prison and his bold brash escape from prison. As played by Kirk Douglas, Paris is cocky and self assured, charming in the way manipulative men can be. People are tools to be used as he sees fit and to be disposed of when he's done with them.  People who put their trust in Paris Pitman Jr have a nasty habit of winding up dead.

The only 2 prisoners who survive the melee around Paris' escape is the gay couple.

Oh yes, the gay couple.

Two of Paris's cell mates are a couple of con artists. It is clear that their relationship is more than a convenient criminal partnership. One of them talks of keeping their heads down, doing their time and then getting a nice house somewhere, with a garden and just settling down.  They snipe at each other, each crankily accusing the other of squirreling their last con, causing them to be in prison. But through out it all, they remain loyal and devoted to each other.  

The "It's That Person Who Was In That Thing" Department

Is that the Skipper from Gilligan's Island? Yep, Alan Hale Jr is a prison guard.

And the old Missouri Kid is none other than Burgess Meredith, the Penguin from Batman. 

I mentioned at the start of this post about the jaunty opening theme for this movie.  Well, here it is now.

One more thing: Kirk Douglas has a dimple in his chin that you could put a fifty cent piece into and come out with change. It is very distracting.  

There Was a Crooked Man... may be a strange off kilter western but credit is due to Joseph L. Mankiewicz for doing something different with the genre. It certainly held my interest.