Your Friday Video Link for today features Monty Python's Flying Circus.
It is a tale of torture, mayhem and violence that makes for a smashing film.
This is... THE SPANISH INQUISITION!
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Here is a sketch I wrote for the blog back in April 2013, a blog commerical from the fine folks at American Glory Insurance!
Scene: a modest but tastefully decorated kitchen as a man in his mid-40’s paces the floor with a phone pressed to his ear.Bill (on the phone, starts off a bit bored but grow more exasperated as the call progresses): My address? 123 Maple Lane. (pause) Maple. (pause) M-A-P-L-E (pause) L-A-N-E. (pause) My date of birth: 12-11-1980. (pause) The last 4 digits of my social security number? 9-8-7-6 (pause) My mother’s maiden name? Renfield (pause) My pet’s name? Really? (pause) Mr. Wiskerston. (pause) Yes, Wiskerton. Really, what’s with all these questions? I mean, I called just to transfer some funds from my savings to my checking! It seems like a very simple exercise. I wasn't expecting the Spanish Inquisition!
[A red cloaked figure jumps into the scene bombastically.]
Inquisitor: Ah HA! No one expects the Spanish Inquisition. Because my chief weapon is Surprise! And Fear! Surprise and Fear! Two chief weapons!
Bill (a bit startled at first but quickly recovers and seems more annoyed than frightened. To the person on the phone..): I’ll call back later. (Bill hangs up, then looks thru some papers in a kitchen drawer.)
Inquisitor (continuing): Surprise and fear! And ruthless efficiency! THREE, yes three chief weapons! Surprise! Fear! Ruthless efficiency! And my bright red cape! Blast it! OK, amongst my weaponry are such diverse elements as surprise….
Bill (interrupting, barely acknowledging the Inquisitor): Could you hold on just a moment please?
[Inquisitor stops and looks puzzled as Bill is clearly not afraid of him.)
Bill (finds a sheet of paper and hands it to the Inquisitor): Here! Read this!
Inquisitor: "This is to insure the holder of this policy against any modern outbreak of, or interference by, the Spanish Inquisition as guaranteed by...American Glory?"
Spokesperson: [Entering.] That's right! American Glory!
Inquisitor: Egad! This is unexpected.
Spokesperson: In the 15th century, Cardinal Ximenez of Spain gave order for the Spanish Inquisition to seek out heresy and render immediate and terrible punishment. Of course that was 600 years ago, but you never know…maybe someone in the Inquisition did not get the memo, like this poor little fellow!
Inquisitor (offended): Hey!
Spokesperson: That's where American Glory comes in!
Bill : And thank you, American Glory!
Spokesperson: No problem! For as little as $5.00 a month, we can offer protection from the ruthless Spanish Inquisition so you can rest comfortably without fear of persecution!
Inquisitor: Oh, nuts! [Sighs.] What’s a poor, unemployed Inquisitor to do these days?
Spokesperson: Maybe a career in telemarketing?
Inquisitor: Ah! The idea has merit! Would I still be able to use my dungeon?
Spokesperson: Why, yes!
Inquisitor (brings fingertips together wickedly): Excellent! (exits, laughing maniacally)
Spokesperson: So remember American Glory! Because we do expect the Spanish Inquisition....and they could be everywhere!
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OK, I would amend that today to the Inquisitor getting a job with the Trump Administration
That is that for this post. Until next time, remember to be good to one another.
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