Taylor Swift Is Getting Married

Well, how do you like that! Taylor Swift is engaged to football player Travis Kelce.

“Your English teacher and your gym teacher are getting married,” the couple said in a joint post on Instagram  on Tuesday.

Which means I won't have my chance to date Taylor Swift.

I mean, I know my chances were remote. I was 257,432, 109th in line but still...

I'm saying I still had a chance. 

A chance to lose my heart then have it broken and shattered completely when Taylor wrote an entire album of music about the experience. 

I suppose there's always Arianna Grande; I'm 218,549, 327th in line for that one.  

Good luck, Taylor! I hope it all works out for you.

And if not...

The divorce will get us a kick ass double album for sure.