Friday, May 2, 2014

Broken News for Friday, May 2, 2014


Hi there!

Welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, the blog that posts every single day...but some of them are invisible. Yeah, let's go with that.


Dave-El here and yeah, I've been in low (or rather non existent) content mode since Sunday's post. What can I say, life 'n' stuff, whatcha gonna do, huh?

It doesn't help that Google+ is doing some dumb shit again. Once every few weeks, I'm unable to access my blog through Google+. I have no idea why. No problem-o, I just go in through Internet Explorer.  Except for some reason, my ability to add graphics to my blog through IE is extremely limited. 



So I'm serving up a new installment of bROkEN nEWs(yeah, THIS I came back for!) but sans bROkEN nEWs IN pIcTuReS or any other new graphics. (I can repost pics from earlier posts. Weird!) Sorry, no visual whistles and bells today. Today, bROkEN nEWs will have to rest solely on my talent and wit.

We are so screwed.

Let's do this thing...

in 5...

4...

3...

2...

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#BrokenNews "Donald Sterling Banned For Life From NBA" It'll keep Sterling away from black people so it's a win for everybody. 



#BrokenNews "Surprise! Racism Still Exists" Surprise! So do assholes!



#BrokenNews "Supreme Court Hands Obama Big Environmental Victory " The GOP has to stay off Obama's ass for awhile.



#BrokenNews "Judge Smacks Down Harsh Voter ID Law" Providing proof you're a carbon based life form did seem a bit much.


#BrokenNews "Rush Limbaugh Unleashes Homophobic Attack On CNN Host" Rush, dude! That's SO last week! Everyone knows classic racism is the new homophobia!



#BrokenNews "Kerry Claims Evidence Of Serious Russian Offense" Putin borrowed Kerry's weed whacker and didn't bring it back. 



#BrokenNews "New Poll Has Troubling News For Dems" Facts are still considered optional by the GOP.

#BrokenNews "Security Experts Warn Of Potentially Dire Russian Threat" Vladmir Putin ability to give a shit is down to zero.   



#BrokenNews "U.S. Close To Bringing Criminal Charges Against Big Banks" Uh oh! Big banks are wondering if someone forgot to send out the bribe checks this week.



#BrokenNews "White House Steps Up Fight Against Campus Rape" Just out of habit, GOP began working on an anti-Obama  statement linking campus rape to Benghazi.



#BrokenNews "Senate GOP Blocks Minimum Wage Bill" With a higher minimum wage, the poor can afford shit at Wal-Mart instead of the cheaper shit at Dollar General.



#BrokenNews "James Franco Says He Never Had Sex With Lindsay Lohan" Ahem! I, the blogger known as "Dave-El", have ALSO not had sex with Lindsay Lohan!

(You know, in case you're interested.) 



#BrokenNews "Why Americans Need People Like Donald Sterling And Cliven Bundy" I don't know, it seems like we have a surplus of dumb, racist fuckers. 


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So that's that for this week's bROkEN nEWs, brought to you by...

Cliven Bundy Fragrance For Delusional Men. Go on and tell yourself it doesn't smell like bullshit.

And by...

Donald Sterling Malt Liquor, for the man with discriminating tastes and not a damn clue.

As always, if there is any part of today's bROkEN nEWs that has caused you any offense, please bring this to the attention of the bROkEN nEWs cOMpLaInT dEpARtmENt.



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Saturday is FREE COMIC BOOK DAY! Yay!! Christmas for Geeks! I love it! My daughter and I will be gathering with the masses at the best comic shop in the world, Acme Comics in Greensboro NC.  Later, we shall return with our free bounty and fall into a comics stupor.

So no post for Saturday. (Well, at least I'm telling you up front.)

Sunday, Doctor Who Weekend happens and after that, we'll see where this merry ole time stream takes us next.

Until next time, be good to one another.  





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