Monday, March 16, 2015

Slow News Day

OK, there may be stuff happening where you are but by slow news I mean news about being slow. As in computer slow. Which is the kind of slow that pisses people off more than any other slow in the world. 

Well, except for the grandmother in line in front of you at the grocery store, rummaging through her purse as she insists she has "the exact change in here somewhere". 

Still having weird computer issues after last weeks cyber attack (which sounds more dramatic than just saying "computer virus"). I've scanned disks, performed memory diagnostics, deleted cookies, cleaned out more garbage files and completed a bunch of security scans. What have I found? Disks are fine, memory is fine, cookies are gone, deleted unnecessary files have freed up memory and processing space and security scans says there are no signs of virus or malware. Yet my computer is moving slower than a 99 year old lady with one good leg shuffling across the floor of a glue factory (which I imagine might be sticky, further impeding her progress).  

Am I going to have get this looked at by a professional? No, don't make me do that! Nothing makes me feel like I'm too stupid to live than computer repair people. 

And auto mechanics. 

And home repair people. 

And landscapers. 

And accountants. 

And...

Changing the subject...

So Duke got shredded by Notre Dame during Friday's semi-final ACC Tournament game. Damn but the Fightin' Irish are good. And I don't mean that in a "Good show, ol' sport! We'll get you next year" kind of way. I mean that in a "who the f**k let this guys into the ACC" kind of way.

And Notre Dame did it again Saturday when they spanked UNC-Chapel Hill to win the tournament championship. These guys have only been in the conference for two years! No, they don't get to do that! Oh, and the ladies got in on the action when Notre Dame won the ACC Women's Tournament last weekend. *Razzin' frazzin' Irish!*

Well, Duke got a #1 seed in the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament starting this week. I hope things go better than last year when Duke got bounced out in the opening round by a community college with a 99 year old lady with one good leg as their power forward. Don't embarrass me like that again, Duke! 

So that's all for today. Oh, I have more things to write about but in the time it's taken me to type this out, I could've come to your house and relayed the same information. 

Via charades.

Please don't make me have to call the computer guy.

And I'm so glad my suffering amuses you.  

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