Wednesday, March 11, 2015

There Must Be 47 Ways To Show You're Stupid

So did you hear the one about the 47 Senators who....

No, start over.

OK, 47 Senators walk into a bar and the bartender says...

No, try again. 

One time there was this farmer, the farmer's daughter and 47 Senators who...

No, I can't do it. I can't come up with a better joke than 47 Republican Senators sending their letter to Iran. 

Here's the situation as I understand it. 
  • Iran has nuclear stuff but not nuclear weapons.
  • This makes the US and other countries nervous: what if they get...THE bomb?
  • Iran says it has every right to have nuclear technology but they really don't want a bomb.
  • Iran has a point about having nuclear tech but we don't really trust them about the bomb thing. 
So the US and other nations are sitting down with Iran to work out some kind of agreement where Iran can have nuclear stuff but don't make bombs. 

The executive branch of the US government heads up negotiations with foreign powers. Which means President Obama. 

And so you see the problem, right?

Oh come on! That America hating, Muslim loving Kenyan is determined to give Iran the bomb!
  • If you read that last sentence and went, "Hell yeah! Damn straight!", please get off my blog. I do not agree with your sentiments and I know enough about your type that nothing I say will sway you from your position. Also your fly is down. 
  • If you read that last sentence and said, "I hope he's being sarcastic", please read on. And your fly is also down.
People, do I need to make a rule about checking the zippers on your pants before you come here?

So Mike Cotton, a freshman Republican Senator from Arkansas, sits down with some paper and a fresh box of crayons...OK, I'm just being mean there, aren't I? Yes, I am. I should be ashamed. 

So Mike Cotton sits down with some paper and a fresh box of crayons to pen a missive to the leaders of Iran. Basically the gist of the letter is this: whatever deal you make with Obama ain't gonna hold up because Congress has to ratify what he does and that ain't gonna happen. And Obama's out of here in a couple of years while us Congressmen will be here for a mighty long while. 

There is so much wrong with this letter. 
  • It undermines the position of the US to negotiate in good faith with Iran.
  • It pushes Iran into a defensive position. 
  • It shows a glaring lack of understanding of what is being negotiated in Iran.
  • It shows an appalling lack of understanding of our own government works. 
  • It may also be in fact illegal. 
But who cares about all that because the letter's true purpose is to embarrass President Obama and obstruct his efforts. So what's a little jeopardizing of the safety and the security of the US and our allies when there's a chance to take a dump all over Obama for political gain. 

Again. 

For a wiser and more articulate assessment of Mike Cotton's letter, click here to read Fred Kaplan's take on this mess.  

But here's the really scary thing: while Mike Cotton may be a moron for doing what he did, he is just one moron. Except he got 46 other morons to sign on to the letter. 

47 people with whom has been placed the public trust decided this was a good idea. 

One of those signers was Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell who said he was "suspicious" of Obama's negotiations with Iran. 

"Suspicious"?! 

Just what the f**k does McConnell think is going on in those negotiations? In his fevered imagination, does he see Obama kicking back with a cigar while enjoying a hearty laugh with Iran's mullahs while the Iranians smile with unsuppressed glee as they wheel in their shiny nuclear bomb with "To America With Hate" stencilled on the side? 

"Suspicious"?! 

It is an interesting choice of a word that plays well with the hill folk living in the gerrymandered districts back home. The constant drumbeat of anti-Obama rhetoric has long been less about any true differences of governing ideology and more about the man himself. When the message is constantly that "Obama is different from us" and "Obama doesn't love America" and so on, suspicious becomes an apt word of choice indeed. 

Bringing this back around to the numbnut who started this, Mike Cotton, his defense of his letter is that he will do anything to make sure Iran doesn't get the bomb. I guess Cotton sees himself as some sentinel of freedom with a steely resolve to stand up to America's enemies.

Including the enemy that 47 Senators see on Pennsylvania Ave. 



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