Hi there and welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You and no, we have NO idea what you're gonna do with all that leftover guacamole dip. Use it for spackle, maybe?
I'm Dave-El and today is Friday which means its time for another tootsie tingling installment of....
Last week, bROkEN nEWs had to post sans graphics due to some inexplicable problems I was having with Google Chrome. Well, the problem just as inexplicably fixed itself a few days later (which just goes to show that computers really don't need us and God help us when they figure that out.)
So BEFORE we get to the headlines, let's take a look at the bROkEN nEWs IN pICtUrEs I had ready to go last week. I know this is asking a lot but please remember that last week was the President's State of the Union address. Yeah, that's ancient history but indulge me, OK?
I'm sorry but I had to share with the world the idea of Biden-Boehner Man Love.
OK, let's get going with the headlines for THIS week in 5...
#BrokenNews "State Department Official Said 'F*ck The EU' In Leaked Call" State Department later clarified the office said "f*ck the emu" which actually only leads to a whole series of disturbing questions.
By the way, bROkEN nEWs is not a proponent of censorship so let me clarify that in the above piece, "f*ck" is actually the word "feck". You're welcome.
#BrokenNews “First Woman Fed Chair Sworn In” So look for new economic strategies centered more around bed ruffles and decorative soaps as opposed to beer and X-box games.*
Hey, speaking of Mitch, let's have another installment of....
|One of these dogs intercepted a Peyton Manning pass.|
+Now get the hell out!
Hey, we're almost near the end and I haven't seen The Count yet. Wait! There is he is!
- There's nothing good on TV.
- It's either sex or pull out crabgrass in the garden! Yeah, I know but give sex a shot anyway.
- The hot babysitter's game for a three way!
- It brings back the good old days when you were younger and you weren't any better at having sex than you are now.
- Grosses out the kids! ("Yeah, I fucked your grandmother in the Barcalounger!")
#BrokenNews "Jay Leno Leaves (Again)" Jay Leno takes the name plate from his dressing room door, says "I better hold on to this. I might need it again."
#BrokenNews "Joan Collins, 80, Reveals The Racy Secret To Her Happy Marriage" No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! Dammit! I'm picturing 80 year old Joan Collins having sex! Intestine...must...strangle...brain!
|We're up all night to get lucky |
but we don't have all day
to deal with this complaint shit.
Well, they seem...nice.
Until next time, be good to one another.