Sunday, February 9, 2014

This (Non) Sporting Life#6

Hi there! I'm Dave-El and welcome to the sixth installment of the weekly blog post about sports written by a guy who doesn't know anything about sports, This (Non) Sporting Life.

So last weekend was the Super Bowl and I may not know much about sports but boy did the game suck! I mean, Peyton Manning, what the hell? You're a professional sports guy person whose name I know so I was rooting for you, man! And you're OLD! (Well, by sports standards, anyway.) So you were the standard bearer for all us real world OLD people (old by the standard of being OLD), to show that you still got "it" and you can still carry the day and win one more for the Gipper. 

Or something like that. 

Instead you looked dazed and confused. Dude, you looked the way I feel most of the time. That bit in the first few seconds where the ball flew by your head and your expression conveyed the following message: "What the...?" And the result was 2 points for the Seahawks. Scoring for the other team? That so much a Dave-El move! Now I understand (I think) that whole thing was not really your fault; some other guy did a thing before you were ready because you were still doing your thing. And I get that. But when I said in what limited understanding and wisdom I have about football, "Well, THAT does not bode well", I didn't anticipate a total meltdown by the Broncos.

Thank goodness for the Puppy Bowl.

Which my daughter wanted to watch anyway. She doesn't get why her mom and dad who really don't care about football suddenly want to watch the Super Bowl. 

I've tried to make the case that the Super Bowl is more than football, it's a shared national experience. There're not many of those these days. But the Super Bowl gives us that common ground on which to stand, at least for a little while. Monday morning, people in my office of varying interests in sports all had something to talk about: how much the Broncos sucked. 

Oddly enough, not a lot of conversation about the Seattle Seahawks winning the Super Bowl. I believe they were favored to win the thing so no surprise. The big surprise was how much the Broncos sucked. 

At least the entertainment was good. Queen Latifah led a beautiful and moving rendition of America the Beautiful. Then opera star Renee Fleming (otherwise known as "person I never heard of Renee Fleming") just nailed it with the National Anthem. OK, I know who she is now! And what was so cool about both women is how poised and confident they were, the joy in what they were doing was palatable. 

Bruno Mars took the stage for a spectacular half-time show, demonstrating some pretty good showmanship skills from Bruno. Judging by the number of "Who is Bruno Mars?" stories I saw the next day, he has apparently opened himself to an even wider audience. Meanwhile, why were the Red Hot Chili Peppers there? Apparently the band itself couldn't think of a good reason so they didn't even bother to plug in. The only reason I could come up with to account for the "presence" of the RHCP was the NFL Commissioner, looking at the plans for the Super Bowl, must have exclaimed, "Holy crap! Who is Bruno Mars?" 

The big thing about the Super Bowl are the commercials. Advertisers spending millions and millions of dollars on some prime advertising real estate and as I sit here about a week later writing this, I can't think of a single one. 

OK, I can think of a few. When I saw the Coke commercial with the multi-cultural, multi-language version of America the Beautiful, I immediately thought, "Fox News is going to have a field day with this tomorrow." Meanwhile, the Cheerios commercial with the mixed race family I'm sure caused quite a lot of Tea Party heads to explode so...good work, Cheerios! 

Of course, being the Doctor Who nut I am, I really loved the spot with the "time machine" powered by Doritos. Apparently this was a fan made commercial (on a $300.00 budget) but I didn't realize it at the time. Good job, guy who did that. 

So after Bruno Mars left the stage, the El family flipped over to the Puppy Bowl where a Peyton Manning pass was intercepted by a shi-tzu. 

I'm as fuzzy on the details of the Puppy Bowl as I am about the rules of football but didn't this used to be nothing more than pointing a camera at some puppies and watch 'em play? Now there's bird announcer, a cat playing the organ and hamsters piloting the MetLife blimp! It's all spectacle now. Have we forgotten the true meaning of the Puppy Bowl

At 10:00, my daughter went to bed while my wife and I decided to go ahead and watch Sherlock on PBS then instead of later. Oh my God! The bad guy for this one was SLIMY! The only way he could have been more slimy was to be covered in actual SLIME! And the slime would go, "Get me off this rat bastard!" Eww! So Sherlock's on the case! Yes, the master detective himself sets out to stop this fiend by use of Sherlock's unique intelligence, insight and wit. 

Or he could straight up shoot the bastard in the head. 

OOPS! I forgot to say SPOILERS! Don't read the above part if you haven't seen the episode! 

Oh great! That's 2 points for the other team.

So that's my report on Super Bowl Sunday, a week late (when nobody cares) and from the perspective of a guy who knows nothing about sports. 

I'm Dave-El and thanks for reading This (Non) Sporting Life. Until next week, good night.*

*Unless you're reading this in the morning. Or some other part of the day where you're not about to go to sleep. OR maybe it is night time but you're a night owl or you work third shift. Also, I post something to this blog nearly everyday so you don't have to wait a whole week to go back to the blog. Just this sports related thing I post each Sunday, that's a weekly thing but within the larger umbrella of this daily blog. I hope that clears up any misunderstanding.

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