Wednesday, July 8, 2015

This 'N' That

Hi there! Welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You. I'm Dave-El and I'll have a glazed doughnut and a bottle of go! 

Wednesday's a travel day so to keep my blog posting streak alive, here are some random headlines and my snarky comments about them.

But who's going to explain the absurdity of German comedians?  

Seriously, under the heading of "Hi, Kettle! I'm Pot! You're black", does anyone own a damn history book? After WWI, everybody ganged up on Germany. "Bad Germany! What were you thinking, starting a war like that? Bad country! Bad!" The various economic penalties enacted against Germany are akin to the austerity measures that Germany is now demanding of Greece. Of course, Germany was so devastated by this economic sanctions, Germans were willing to listen to anyone who promised to make it better, even a small, shrieking man with a greasy comb over and mustache that may have been a mole. Guys, are we ready for a Greek Hitler? 

Yeah, Greece partied too hard and too long and now somebody has to pay the damn bill. C'mon, Greece! You gotta suck it up and take care of business. But hey, Germany, squeezing Greece's economic tits til they're sore and dry won't solve anything and probably just create a 3rd world country on Europe's doorstep. Think about what that will do to the neighborhood property values.

OK, let's move on to something really important.  

Hopefully she can find something better do, like porn. 

Maybe she can get work as Donald Trump's Mexican Community Outreach Program; you know, to those that Donald assumes are good people.

Speaking of that self-serving prick...

Even his toupee is like, "What the hell is wrong with this guy?"

By the way, this is Donald Trump we're talking about. Isn't it redundant to describe the statement as "sarcastic" and "taunting"?  

So it turns out that Bill Cosby admitted in a deposition in 2005 of procuring drugs to be given to a woman for the purpose of having sex with her. OK, so Bill Cosby drugged a woman to have sex with her ONE TIME. I'm sure he never, ever did anything like ever before or since, despite what dozens of other woman have said. 

Yeah, no one's going to buy that. Cos, you've sold your last pudding pop. 

Hey, is there anyone good in the world?  

Oh hell, now what? 

And let me just say there is NOTHING funny about child porn. Anyone making or even watching it needs to be glued naked to a floor in a room filled with fire ants. And that's just for starters! 

OK, let's talk about something else. 

Hey, he could've been in 'blackface' so for Paula Deen, this is progress.

Kind of?

Sort of?


Apparently he got the exact same deal he was offered months ago. Well played, Mr. Shearer; well played indeed!

You know what would make a truly interesting headline? Gilmore Girls To Run For President. Yeah, I'd vote for that. 

Seriously, though: Jim Gilmore? 

Would it be easier to count who ISN'T running for President?

OK, that's all I've got. I got a post of even more random stuff set up for tomorrow so be here for that. Until then, be good to one another.

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