Monday, July 20, 2020

Word Crushed For Time

During my down time of self employment (I work at doing nothing all day), I spend an inordinate amount of time playing an online word game called Word Crush.

Here's an image of the Word Crush screen I googled.




Essentially, the purpose is to find words in a jumble that fit a certain theme. In addition, one can earn extra points finding any words in the mishmash. 

A player can advance through increasing levels. 

I'm past level 1,880 now.  

I spend way too much time on this game. Especially on weekends. 

There is a tournament each weekend. Whoever scores the greatest number of points by the end of the 2 day tournament can earn 2,000 coins. 

And bragging rights, I guess? The coins have no value except to help play the game if you get stuck. You can buy clues and hints.  

I play under the name "Master Wyrd Byrd".  

Well, I think it's cute. 

This weekend was going to be my weekend.

This weekend would see Master Wyrd Byrd ascendant to the throne of Word Crush champion. 

I built up a bank of 4,200 coins and several free uses of re-scrambles and hints. 

All I would need is to dedicate my time and energies to playing this game at every opportunity. All I needed to accomplish this is to have a life that is pathetically empty and devoid of meaning. 

life that is pathetically empty and devoid of meaning? Hell, I've got this covered! I will win the top prize of 2,000 coins and truly deserve the name of Master Wyrd Byrd. 

But as much as my life is pathetically empty and devoid of meaning, there's 1 player out there whose life is apparently even more pathetically empty and devoid of meaning.  

A player identifying themself as "Chris" beats me by well over a thousand points every week. 

It's not even close. "Chris" apparently does not eat or sleep or do anything at all but play Word Crush all weekend. 

Well, if that' what it will take, then that's what it will take! 

Look, "Chris", I don't know what your life is like a but I NEED this, OK?! How can I call my self "Master Wyrd Byrd" if I keep coming in second? Should I change my moniker to "Merely Competent Wyrd Byrd"? What kind of name is that? 

No, I am the MASTER WYRD BYRD and I shall triumph over thee! From hell's heart I shall stab at thee and Master Wyrd Byrd will be the Wyrd Byrd VICTORIOUS!!!!

I hit the ground running! Vaulting ahead of all other players, I secure my position Friday night at #1. The person at 2nd is at least a thousand coins behind me. 

I decided to get some rest and slept that night. 

This was a mistake.  

"Chris" had been busy. Running up the score all through the long wee hours of Saturday morning, the sun dawned with "Chris" holding the #1 spot. 

But... only by a few hundred coins. 

Oh no, you son of a bitch! I can catch you! You can run but you can't hide! I will win this thing!!!

I'm able to pull off a massive surge of activity and inch my way into first place. Master Wyrd Byrd sits a top the leaderboard. 

"Chris" is still at it.

Wherever in the world this bastard is, his fingers must dance like a whirling dervish, a blur of motion as his eyes scan the mishmash of letters, looking for order in chaos, meaning from nonsense.

Saturday melts into Sunday and I am exhausted. I've tapped out my freebies for word re-scrambles and hints. I'm forced to spend coins to get clues to find words as my mind, gripped by frustration and weariness, is no longer a competitive match for "Chris", his nimble fingers and his linguistic genius. 

I must sadly concede the weekend as a loss and settle for...

THIRD PLACE?!?!

What the hell?!?! Lisa?!?! 

Lisa had been bubbling below me several spaces, never closer that maybe 500 points behind but in the last frickin' half hour, there she was a huggin' 2nd and and I'm in third place? 

Oh hell no! This bitch is going down! 

I grasp my phone in my hands, my eyes burning as I scan puzzle after puzzle, looking to close the gap on Lisa. 

Then time runs out. 

I get the message. Congratulations, Master Wyrd Byrd, for your third place finish and collect 800 coins. 

I started with 4,200 coins in the bank. With my 3rd place "win", I end the weekend with 3,400 coins. 

Master Wyrd Byrd is depressed. 

There is no joy. 

And I am so glad my suffering amuses you. 


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