Thursday, April 24, 2014

Birthday Boy!

Hello! Welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You. I am Dave-El and today is my birthday!

One fun thing to experience on one's birthday is having "Happy Birthday to You" sung to you.  Which can be extremely awkward. 

Someone actually owns the rights to "Happy Birthday To You" so that's why waiters in restaurants sings other little ditties like--

"The good news is we sing for free! 
The bad news is we sing OFF KEY!"

Of course there's some wise ass at work who'll do the classic song but with different words. 

"Happy birthday to you! 
You live in a zoo! 
You look like a monkey!
And you smell like one too!"  

A phenomenon of birthdays as one gets older is that it's apparently OK to mock one's inevitable collision with the Grim Reaper's scythe. 

And once the fat and sugar in that cake hits your arteries, you'll be even closer to death. So, yay, cake? 

But you don't see anyone pulling this on younger people: 

"Oh, you're 4 years old now? Ah, how sweet! So based on your projected average life span and barring any accidents or serious illness, you're now about 70 years away from death! Isn't that great? Why are you crying? Hey, are you going to eat that cake?"

But somewhere around 40 to 50, it's just fine to decorate your cubicle with black balloons and faux tombstones wishing you to have a happy birthday AND rest in peace. 

But as the clock ticks down on your mortality, the honor of having lived yet another year means the birthday guy or gal is treated... no, not with respect but is subject to humiliation.  

Like being forced to wear a hat.  

So today is my birthday. Congrats to me for having successfully not died in the past half century and here's to a glorious future of physical and mental entropy. 

But at least there's cake. 

Do you know what this Whovian needs on his birthday? A greeting from the Doctor! 

Thank you, Doctor!  And look, here's a happy birthday wish from my cousin Kal and his friends. 

Oh, that puts the Kurt in my Schaffenberger, for sure! Thanks, Superman and Superman's pals! 

You may wonder what I might want for my birthday.  Really, there's one thing that would make my heart happy: 

All of you, just be good to one another! Do that and I'll have the best birthday I could ever hope for.  

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