Sunday, April 6, 2014

This (Non) Sporting Life#12

Hello there and welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, the blog made with genuine Kraft cheese substance. 

I'm Dave-El and today I bring back This (Non) Sporting Life, the blog post about sports by a guy who doesn't know a lot about sports. 

Yesterday (Saturday) saw the Final Four of the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament (I'm not typing all that again!) and it looks like the Huskies of UConn and Kentucky Wildcats are going to the Championship game tomorrow (Monday) and I've lost all interest in finishing this sent-

Seriously, though, there comes a point when the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament (Thank you, cut 'n' paste!) becomes less of a run towards a championship and more of a Bataan Death March towards just getting to the damn end. 

Everything starts with such chaotic promise: "I can't believe this team is still in it!" "I can't believe that team is out already!" 

With 64 (68? 72? A gazillion?) teams at the start, the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament is a raucous party of possibilities. The music's pumping, the joint is jumping. Everybody's joins in to dance. It's kind of crowded but that's cool because there's a lot of interesting people there. And there are a lot of cool cheeses on the cheese platter!

But then wham! Half of them have to leave but that's OK, 32 is still a cool party. Still a lot of cheese left.

Then the party is cut in half and things are getting awkward. That ex you've managed to avoid in the crowd earlier is still there, damn it; there's fewer people to hide behind. The cheese-to-cracker ratio on the cheese platter is a bit out of whack.

Then the size of the party is cut in half again and there's just no avoiding the ex, is there? Why the hell is she still there? And damn it, the sharp cheddar cubes on the cheese platter are all gone.

And now there are just four of you. You have an awkward conversation with the ex. And the cheese platter is pretty much picked over.

It ends with only one team standing, victorious, holding the bloody decapitated heads of their beaten foes while listening to "One Shining Moment" and knibbling on the last pepperjack cheese cube.

Well, that's how MY parties always end.

So good luck to UConn in the Championship game of the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament. Or good luck to Kentucky. You know, either way, I don't really care.

Ugh! I think I ate to much cheese.


Tomorrow on the blog: We commemorate the 1 week anniversary of the passing of How I Met Your Mother. Are you still pissed off?

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