Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Ted Cruz Is A Lying Fuck Bastard - Part 14 (Series Finale!)

Hello. 

Er, yes. I need a moment to gather my thoughts and...

Sorry, I'm a bit unsure of myself right now. Yes, to be perfectly honest with you...

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!

Ahem! 

Sorry about that. 

OK, so here's the deal. On Thursdays, I usually post a feature I call...





Yes, I know it's Wednesday! Bear with me.

Anyway...

I was ready to do an installment on Ted Cruz's poking his nose into North Carolina's HB2 debacle. 

But then some fellow Republicans had some negative things to say about Sen. Cruz so I amended the post to include that. 

Then Ted got heckled by a 12 year old and I had to add that to the post. 

But then Ted Cruz had to go and get his ass kicked in Indiana and I was in the process of amending this post with that information. 

But that was followed by the real kicker, something that jeopardized all my work on this post. 

Ted Cruz dropped out of the Presidential race. 

Now I didn't want this pompous, self important, narrow minded bigoted prick to be President but could he have waited a couple of days to call it quits? Did he have to bail on Tuesday night? 

Well, I'm not going to let this whiny crybaby son of a bitch ruin a perfectly good Ted Cruz Is a Lying Fuck Bastard post just because he gave up like a petulant child denied getting his way. 

For the rest of the post, I will present the blog post that was originally scheduled for Thursday, May 5th except I'm posting this a day early. 

I'll be back at the end of the post for a Ted Cruz post mortem.

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“Lucifer in the flesh. I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.” 
-----John Boehner, Stanford University, April 27, 2016

“Maybe he gives Lucifer a bad name by comparing him to Ted Cruz." 
------Rep. Peter King, CNN, April 28, 2016 

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Hi there! Welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, my little corner of internet Hell. I'm Dave-El, pleased to meet you, you don't have to guess my name. 

Today is Thursday which mean its time for America's favorite blog post according to me and the tiny talking iguanas that live in my brain...




I should note that I've written today's post in advance of Tuesday's primary in Indiana which has been described as a make or break for our "beloved" lying fuck bastard. As I write this, Donald Trump has a decisive lead in the polls there and if those projections hold up, Trump's path to the 1,237 delegates to win the nomination becomes a lot more of sure thing, especially looking down the road to California's delegate rich total where the Donald currently holds a very commanding lead in the polls. Of course, the Trumpmeister will let this go to his head and think California loves his awesome self. No, Donald, California really, really cannot stand Ted Cruz.

As I've said before in this regular feature, it's not so much the lying that really irks me about Ted Cruz, it's all the stuff that makes up the "fuck bastard" part of his smug, self righteous prick person that really makes me dislike the guy. But it's not just me. It is astounding to me to see in so many venues spread out over so many media platforms how so many people react pretty much the same way. And among those who respond to Ted Cruz is such a negative way are those within his own Republican party. 

The quote above from former Speaker of the House John Boehner is not the first time the former Congressman has spoken ill of Sen. Cruz; Boehner has called Cruz a “jackass” and a “false prophet.”  

What is the source of John Boehner's animosity towards Ted Cruz? A lot of it stems from Cruz’s drive to defund Obamacare in 2013, leading to a government shutdown. Boehner knew Cruz's position was a bullshit deal but the Senator from Texas got all his Tea Party cohorts all worked up about staring down Obama and any Congressmen who would dare think of working with him.  Of course the shut down accomplished nothing towards killing Obamacare and wound up costing the federal government a gazillion dollars. 

As Rep. Peter King (R-NY) told CNN (more on that in a minute) that Cruz knew his strategy would never work, but he did it anyway. He “shut down the government, cost the government money” and “served no purpose whatsoever other than to boost his name identification.”

With this boost to his notoriety, Ted Cruz continued plotting with a breakaway group of conservatives in opposition to John Boehner's hopes for big budget deals and an immigration overhaul. In 2014, Ted Cruz quickly labeled Boehner's immigration reform proposals as "amnesty" which led many Republicans to distance themselves from Boehner's plans. 

The ultra right wing conservatives in the House of Representatives with support from Sen. Ted Cruz formed the Freedom Caucus members. Every single proposal of Boehner's that had even a whiff of compromise or cooperation with President Obama was immediately and unequivocally obstructed and denied by this group. Eventually this  constant haranguing led John Boehner to resign as Speaker of the House and give up his seat as a US Representatives.  

So there is not a lot of love lost by John Boehner for the Freedom Caucus who he described as "knuckleheads” and “goofballs.” And he has zero tolerance for Ted Cruz whose take no prisoners version of politics fermented the movement of extreme right wing obstructionism.   

Meanwhile, Rep. Peter King thinks John Boehner gave the devil a bad name by comparing him to the Texas senator. As King told CNN, "What John Boehner was most concerned about was Ted Cruz perpetrated a fraud and a hoax when he brought about the shutdown of the government on some kind of a vague promise that he was gonna be able to take Obamacare out of the budget or to end Obamacare.”


By the way, prior to the New York primary a couple of weeks ago, Rep. King said he hates Cruz and would take cyanide if he ever won the GOP nomination.


So even Republicans think that....




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You know who else doesn't like Ted Cruz? At least one 12 year old boy who heckled Cruz at a campaign event in Indiana. I think the boy yelled, "You suck!" It's hard to tell. 

Perhaps Fox News can provide some clarity. 




Yep, it was "You suck!" Thanks to Fox News for putting that up there in some really big ass font so we would know for sure. 

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Recently, Ted Cruz has seen fit to interject himself in the kerfuffle here in North Carolina over House Bill 2, a measure widely denounced as blatant discrimination against the LGBT community. He did so when Donald Trump had something to say about it: 

"I will tell you. North Carolina did something that was very strong. And they're paying a big price. There's a lot of problems."  

"There have been very few complaints the way it is. People go. They use the bathroom that they feel is appropriate," There has been so little trouble. And the problem with what happened in North Carolina is the strife and the economic — I mean, the economic punishment that they're taking."

OK, I know this is hard to deal with but Donald Trump (C'mon, Dave-El, you can do this) made sense. (Oh great! I think my soul just shriveled up a bit.)  

Ever the political opportunist, Cruz had this to say:  
"Donald Trump is no different from politically correct leftist elites. Today, he joined them in calling for grown men to be allowed to use little girls’ public restrooms. As the dad of young daughters, I dread what this will mean for our daughters — and for our sisters and our wives. It is a reckless policy that will endanger our loved ones.

"Donald stands up for this irresponsible policy while at the same time caving in on defending individual freedoms and religious liberty. Trump has succumbed to the Left's agenda, which is to force Americans to leave God out of public life while paying lip service to false tolerance.

"This is not real tolerance. The Left wants to force its belief system onto Americans across the country and silence people of faith in the public square. Unsurprisingly, Donald Trump is all too eager to join them. This simply confirms that the same man who favored partial-birth abortion and still supports public funding for Planned Parenthood will sacrifice principle on the altar of political correctness. Trump will not defeat political correctness. Today he bowed to it."

As is Ted's nature, he's found a point to hammer on over and over and over and....

  • "We shouldn’t allow grown male adult strangers alone in a bathroom with little girls. That’s a point anyone who is rational should understand.”
  • "There are some bad people in the world, and we shouldn’t be facilitating putting little girls alone in a bathroom with grown adult men. That is just a bad, bad, bad idea."
  • "Here is basic common sense: Grown adult men, strangers, should not be alone in a bathroom with little girls."

No, Ted, no one wants a strange man in a woman's bathroom with little girls. But that is not actually the issue at hand. You know, let me see if Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) can make some sense of this.  

“Well, I think it would be a bad idea to put little girls in bathrooms with grown men. That’s different than the transgender issue, I guess. All I can say is that the only bathroom I can control is in my office, and you can use the bathroom in my office without bringing your birth certificate.”

And lets wrap up this post with another (God help me!) sensible comment from Donald Trump


"(There's) a big move to create new bathrooms. Problem with that is for transgender, that would be — first of all, I think that would be discriminatory in a certain way. That would be unbelievably expensive for businesses in the country. Leave it the way it is."

And for forcing me to acknowledge that Donald Trump said something that wasn't completely stupid, let me say one more time....

TED CRUZ IS A LYING FUCK BASTARD! 

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And I'm back. So that was the post I had prepped to appear this week. 

But now...Ding! Dong! Cruz is gone!   And according to my mission statement for TCIALFB, I planned to write this series of posts until Ted was no longer running for President.  Well, that's a done deal now that Cruz has dropped out of the race. 

I have to admit I was a bit surprised by the move. No one figured Cruz was going to win Indiana but his campaign's efforts to align delegates to support Cruz in a contested convention suggested a long term game that might continue in spite of a loss in Indiana. However, there have been reports that the support Cruz thought he was getting from those delegates was nowhere near as strong as he would like to believe. With Donald Trump actually bearing down on the magic number of 1,237 delegates needed to win on a first round ballot at the GOP convention, the machinations behind the scenes to sway those delegates towards Cruz were no longer viable.

So today we write finis to a great and dedicated resource to  democracy, a voice that rang out from the din of the internet...

TED CRUZ IS A LYING FUCK BASTARD

Thank you, farewell and may God bless the United States of America!
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The comic themed post, Oddball Super Heroes, that was scheduled for today will post here tomorrow. 

Until next time, remember to be good to one another. And never, ever forget...

TED CRUZ IS A LYING FUCK BASTARD   

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