Saturday, May 21, 2016

This (Non) Sporting Life: Rejected Ballpark Promotions


Hi there! Today I'm posting an installment of This (Non) Sporting Life, a blog post about sports written by a guy who doesn't know much about sports.  

Today's topic: baseball. 

That great epitome of American wit and wisdom, Homer Simpson, once opined on the timeless magic of America's past time. 




Well, if you're looking for a little excitement in a baseball game, nothing spikes up things that a good ol' fashioned brawl. Like the one started when Texas Rangers second baseman Rougned Odor delivered a punch to Toronto Blue Jays outfielder Jose Bautista’s jaw.  




Ouch! That's gotta hurt! 

Also: Rougned Odor? This is a real person's real name? Really? 

Another way to drum up some excitement in baseball is to come up with a really good ball park promotion. Now it's important to NOT come up with a ball park promotion that sucks. Much like the following 10 ideas posted on Twitter (where I can be found here: ) under the hashtag 

And here we go! 
  1. Free Sporks For the Kids! 
  2. Steroidapalooza! 
  3. Crack Whore Night 
  4. You Don't Need Beer To Enjoy Baseball 
  5. Baseball Salutes the American Hipster 
  6. After today's game, a concert by Nickelback! 
  7. Ted Cruz Look-a-Like Day 
  8. Free Admission For Goats 
  9. Opera Night
  10. Free Grenade Night
And that is all the time I have for that. The family and I have not escaped the Fortress of Ineptitude to go see a Greensboro Grasshopper game this year. I hope we get to see at least one game this summer. 

There's an ALL NEW post tomorrow which is Sunday so it's a Doctor Who post, Episode 4 of my fan fiction script. 

Until next time, remember to be good to one another.

Dave-El
I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You

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