Dave-El here! This blog has been celebrating the 75th Anniversary of Batman with Batman Week. (See the menu to the right for posts from Monday to Thursday.) Well, today wraps up Batman Week.
(And you may wonder, "Hey, Dave-El! What about Saturday and Sunday?" To which I reply, "5 days in a row is already pushing the limits of my attention span to any one subject, even one as awesome as Batman.")
Today is Friday which is when I
In keeping with the Batman Week theme, check out the crudely assembled bROkEN nEWs banner with the awesomely illustrated by Batman by Dustin Nguyen.
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| Banner art by Dustin Nguyen |
This week bROkEN nEWs is brought to you by..
THE GOTHAM CITY
SEMI-ANNUAL
ARKHAM OVERRUN
Come out with the family and enjoy a variety of entertainment and special events:
- Live bands!
- Hot dogs!
- Human crocodile creature!
- Ice cream!
- Cupcakes!
- Psycho killer with a hat fetish!
- Bouncy houses!
- Jugglers!
- Deformed maniac with a thing for the number two!
- Magic shows!
- Acrobats!
- Madman with dead flesh strapped to his head!
- Petting zoo!
And much, much more!
So come on down for the...
Its KER-RAZY fun!
ARKHAM OVERRUN!
Its KER-RAZY fun!
And now bROkEN nEWs gets a rollin' in 5...
4...
3...
2...
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#BrokenNews "GOP, Dems Fall Farther Apart On Immigration" The sticking point is whether to shoot some of the immigrants or all of the immigrants.
#BrokenNews “Senior White House Official: Obama To Act On Immigration 'Probably' Before Midterms “ Although he did promise Michelle he would put up some new shelves in the Lincoln Bedroom so, you know, it all depends.
#BrokenNews “Cruz: It's Not Me Who's Holding Migrant Kids Ransom” Yep, the invisible “Not Me” kid from the Family Circus is standing right next to him.
But immigration is not the only issue on Ted Cruz's mind this week!
#BrokenNews "Ted Cruz Questions Whether Obama Is Boycotting Israel By Grounding Flights" Don't sweat it, Ted. There's more than enough delis in New York City to keep you supplied in kosher pickles.
#BrokenNews "U.S. Continues To Block Travel To Israel" Oy vey! Look, the weather's just as hot in Florida anyway and it's a shorter trip, is all I'm saying."
Oh, the travel ban has been lifted? Fine, fine! Go ahead! Go to Israel instead of visiting your poor mother down in Boca!
Oh, the travel ban has been lifted? Fine, fine! Go ahead! Go to Israel instead of visiting your poor mother down in Boca!
#BrokenNews “How The Israel-Palestinian Peace Plan Died” It was Professor Plum in the Conservatory with a wrench.
#BrokenNews "Pope Francis Calls Israeli And Palestinian Leaders" He just wanted to say, "Yo, homies! Whazzup?"
#BrokenNews "Pope Francis Calls Israeli And Palestinian Leaders" He just wanted to say, "Yo, homies! Whazzup?"
#BrokenNews “Obama Signs Executive Order On LGBT Rights” Which Fox News immediately linked to Benghazi.
#BrokenNews "How To Have The Perfect Morning Even If You’ve Stayed Up Late" Hey, Batman! You stay up really late a lot! You want to take this one?
One way I can have a perfect morning after staying up late is to run over Alfred's vacuum cleaner with the Batmobile before going to bed!
Thanks, Batman!
Hey, let's do the picture thing!
That Snoop Dogg fella reminds me a lot of Swamp Thing. Man, Swampy just won't shut up about weed, either! And when he asks you to smoke him? Brrrr!
Interesting insight there, Batman. Let's get back to the headlines!
#BrokenNews “Joe Biden Once Told Putin: 'I Don't Think You Have A Soul'” Meanwhile, if you’ve ever seen Biden’s James Brown impression, you know he has plenty of soul.
#BrokenNews "Conservative Scholar Suggests Obama Be 'Hung, Drawn and Quartered'" Obama replied, "Well, I've already got the 'hung' part covered if you know what I'm sayin'!", pointing at his crotch (in case we didn't know what he's sayin'.)
#BrokenNews "GOP's Obamacare Replacement Apparently Still In The Works" The GOP would have finished it by now except Paul Ryan keeps forgetting to bring in his Sears Craftsman socket wrench set.
#BrokenNews "How To Have The Perfect Morning Even If You’ve Stayed Up Late" Hey, Batman! You stay up really late a lot! You want to take this one?
Thanks, Batman!
Hey, let's do the picture thing!
That Snoop Dogg fella reminds me a lot of Swamp Thing. Man, Swampy just won't shut up about weed, either! And when he asks you to smoke him? Brrrr!
Interesting insight there, Batman. Let's get back to the headlines!
#BrokenNews “Joe Biden Once Told Putin: 'I Don't Think You Have A Soul'” Meanwhile, if you’ve ever seen Biden’s James Brown impression, you know he has plenty of soul.
#BrokenNews "Conservative Scholar Suggests Obama Be 'Hung, Drawn and Quartered'" Obama replied, "Well, I've already got the 'hung' part covered if you know what I'm sayin'!", pointing at his crotch (in case we didn't know what he's sayin'.)
#BrokenNews "GOP's Obamacare Replacement Apparently Still In The Works" The GOP would have finished it by now except Paul Ryan keeps forgetting to bring in his Sears Craftsman socket wrench set.
#BrokenNews “How Oil And Gas Firms Gained Influence And Transformed North Dakota” The oil and gas firms did ask, “Does anybody mind if we transform North Dakota?” but no one said anything.
And here's a segment we haven't had in a while:
bROkEN nEWs tHaT cOuNTs
And now...here's Batman!
As you know, I have a lot of tools and weapons that I use in my battle against crime and injustice. These tools and weapons have been created to fulfill certain specialized uses.
But sometimes my crime fighting partners do not use these correctly. So here are....
Back to you, Dave-El.
Thanks, Batman!
And here's a segment we haven't had in a while:
bROkEN nEWs tHaT cOuNTs
And now...here's Batman!
But sometimes my crime fighting partners do not use these correctly. So here are....
The 3 Products You're Mistakenly Using
- Alfred using Batarangs to clean the grout in the Wayne Manor bathrooms.
- Batgirl using the Batphone to pull prank calls on her dad.
- Robin, the Bat-Shark Repellent is for repelling sharks, dammit!
Back to you, Dave-El.
Thanks, Batman!
#BrokenNews “McDonald's And KFC Bought Rotten Meat In China” Putting American providers of rotten meat out of business
#BrokenNews "Comic Book Store Complains About Chris McDaniel's Campaign Bus On 'Batman Day'" Then Chris stepped out of the bus in a top hat and a monocle making 'Wauk! Wauk! Wauk!' noises and his fiendish plan against the Caped Crusader was made clear.
Well said, Batman!
Hey, time for more pictures!
Catwoman knows about 150 shades of grey if you catch my drift.
TMI, Batman! TMI!
Headlines, away!!!!!
#BrokenNews "Bachmann Asks Media: Why Haven't You Asked If I'll Run?" OK, OK, everybody stop giggling and ask the lady if she's... going to... BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Sorry, I can't do it.
Hell, even Fox News has gotta say, "You're kidding, right?"
#BrokenNews "George Takei Tells Bill Maher Why He Can't Stand William Shatner" Forcing Bill Maher to clear his schedule for the rest of the week.
#BrokenNews "Shatner Takes Dig At George Takei" But first he had to ask, "George who?"
#BrokenNews "Britney Spears Strips Down For Her New Lingerie Line" She also strips down for her Egg McMuffin every morning. (McDonald's has asked her to stop.)
#BrokenNews "The Major Problem With Zach Braff's New Movie" Zach Braff's in it?
I happen to like Zach Braff.Uh, OK.
#BrokenNews "Town Marshal Suspected Of Stealing Underwear" Authorities will know more after he's been debriefed.
Seriously, Zach's an OK guy!And I think we're done here!
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And that's a wrap for Batman Week and this week's bROkEN nEWs, brought to you by...
The Greater Gotham City
Chamber of Commerce
...which reminds you that mass murders by crazed psychotics don't happen every day!
So take a big chance and live a little....
Come to Gotham City!
My thanks to Batman for being a part of today's edition. And a Happy 75th Anniversary to you, Batman! You don't look a day over 74! (I kid! I kid!)
By the way, this Bat-picture....
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Tomorrow: It's DOCTOR WHO WEEKEND!
And it's PART TWO of my new story...
TIME of the DOMINION!!
Until then, be good to one another.
And to Zach Braff!And yes, be good to Zach Braff.
I like Zach Braff! Yeah, I know, Batman. I know.
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