Friday, July 25, 2014

Broken News For Friday, July 25, 2014

Hi there! Welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, the blog that is vengeance AND the night BUT not Batman

Dave-El here! This blog has been celebrating the 75th Anniversary of Batman with Batman Week. (See the menu to the right for posts from Monday to Thursday.)  Well, today wraps up Batman Week

(And you may wonder, "Hey, Dave-El! What about Saturday and Sunday?" To which I reply, "5 days in a row is already pushing the limits of my attention span to any one subject, even one as awesome as Batman."

Today is Friday which is when I present inflict a NEW edition of bROkEN nEWs, my weekly blog post of alleged news satire whatever the hell this is.  

In keeping with the Batman Week theme, check out the crudely assembled bROkEN nEWs banner with the awesomely illustrated by Batman by Dustin Nguyen

Banner art by Dustin Nguyen 

This week bROkEN nEWs is brought to you by..


Come out with the family and enjoy a variety of entertainment and special events: 

  • Live bands!
  • Hot dogs!
  • Human crocodile creature!
  • Ice cream!
  • Cupcakes!
  • Psycho killer with a hat fetish!
  • Bouncy houses! 
  • Jugglers!
  • Deformed maniac with a thing for the number two!
  • Magic shows!
  • Acrobats!
  • Madman with dead flesh strapped to his head!
  • Petting zoo! 

And much, much more!

So come on down for the...


Its KER-RAZY fun!

And now bROkEN nEWs gets a rollin' in 5...





#BrokenNews "GOP, Dems Fall Farther Apart On Immigration" The sticking point is whether to shoot some of the immigrants or all of the immigrants.  

#BrokenNews Senior White House Official: Obama To Act On Immigration 'Probably' Before Midterms “ Although he did promise Michelle he would put up some new shelves in the Lincoln Bedroom so, you know, it all depends.

#BrokenNews Cruz: It's Not Me Who's Holding Migrant Kids Ransom” Yep, the invisible “Not Me” kid from the Family Circus is standing right next to him. 

But immigration is not the only issue on Ted Cruz's mind this week! 

#BrokenNews "Ted Cruz Questions Whether Obama Is Boycotting Israel By Grounding Flights" Don't sweat it, Ted. There's more than enough delis in New York City to keep you supplied in kosher pickles.  

#BrokenNews "Comic Book Store Complains About Chris McDaniel's Campaign Bus On 'Batman Day'" Then Chris stepped out of the bus in a top hat and a monocle making 'Wauk! Wauk! Wauk!' noises and his fiendish plan against the Caped Crusader was made clear.  

Remember, citizens! The political process is an important part of a strong and vibrant democracy. Except when your campaign bus is blocking access to important resources such as schools, hospitals and comic book shops! 

Well said, Batman

Hey, time for more pictures!  

Catwoman knows about 150 shades of grey if you catch my drift. 

TMI, Batman! TMI! 

Headlines, away!!!!!   

#BrokenNews "Bachmann Asks Media: Why Haven't You Asked If I'll Run?" OK, OK, everybody stop giggling and ask the lady if she's... going to... BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Sorry, I can't do it. 

Hell, even Fox News has gotta say, "You're kidding, right?"    

#BrokenNews "George Takei Tells Bill Maher Why He Can't Stand William Shatner" Forcing Bill Maher to clear his schedule for the rest of the week.  

#BrokenNews "Shatner Takes Dig At George Takei" But first he had to ask, "George who?"

#BrokenNews "Britney Spears Strips Down For Her New Lingerie Line" She also strips down for her Egg McMuffin every morning. (McDonald's has asked her to stop.)  

#BrokenNews "The Major Problem With Zach Braff's New Movie" Zach Braff's in it?

 I happen to like Zach Braff.

Uh, OK. 

#BrokenNews "Town Marshal Suspected Of Stealing Underwear" Authorities will know more after he's been debriefed.  

 Seriously, Zach's an OK guy!

And I think we're done here!  


And that's a wrap for Batman Week and this week's bROkEN nEWs, brought to you by...

The Greater Gotham City
Chamber of Commerce

...which reminds you that mass murders by crazed psychotics don't happen every day!  

So take a big chance and live a little....

Come to Gotham City!  

My thanks to Batman for being a part of today's edition. And a Happy 75th Anniversary to you, Batman! You don't look a day over 74! (I kid! I kid!) 

By the way, this Bat-picture....
was courtesy of Bat-Blog.Com, featuring all things Batman. It's pretty cool!  



And it's PART TWO of my new story...


Until then, be good to one another.  

And to Zach Braff!

And yes, be good to Zach Braff. 

 I like Zach Braff! 

Yeah, I know, Batman. I know. 

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We went to see Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom  and let me settle something up front: Bryce Dallas Howard does wear high heels.  For a coup...