Friday, July 4, 2014

Broken News (On a Break) For Friday, July 4th, 2014



Hello there! I'm Dave-El and this is my blog, I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You and no, I cannot see by the dawn's early light, I need to turn on a lamp. 

Today is the 4th of July also known as Independence Day, a holiday set aside to celebrate the talent of actor Will Smith. No, wait! It's a holiday set aside to celebrate the founding of...

"The Greatest Nation on Earth". 

Do not argue the point, we are armed and drunk so just accept it, OK? 

Click here for a link to last year's July 4th blog as I discuss what I love about Oosah

Oosah, as in USA. No, this has still NOT caught on, dammit! 

Since the 4th has fallen on a Friday which is the day I post bROkEN nEWs, I have decided to do a special bROkEN nEWs iN pIcTuReS edition as we look at that most treasured American resource, our politicians. 


I hope you enjoy this post while I honor the bravery of our founding fathers by sipping this strawberry margarita by the side of the pool.


Let's start with the big dog in chief, the President




























Sometimes having fun at Barack Obama's expense seems a bit unfair. This is a guy who can't even order a hamburger without Fox News proclaiming it an insult to American hot dog makers.  Then he eats a hot dog and there's Fox News with, "What? A good old fashioned American hamburger too good for him?" 


Face facts, guys and gals. Barack Obama is NOT "the worst President ever". But he's also not a miraculous wonder sent from the heavens above either. He's just this dude doing what he can and like all dudes, he can screw up like the best and the worst of us. 





















Yeah, I know that this is...what, the 5th time I've posted this graphic on my blog? Well, I'm still damn proud of it! This is my Gary Trudeau moment! So there! 

Sometimes I feel a bit sorry for this next guy too. 




Rep. John Boehner first of all has to ALWAYS remind people his last name is pronounced "bay-nor", not "boner". And secondly, he gets to be Speaker of the House while his Republican party is (for lack of a better word) infested by ideologically driven fruit cakes.  Occasionally he says or does something that makes one think he really doesn't believe the bullshit he's saying. That being said, Boehner ("BAY NOR") has let the tail wag the dog too many times, giving control of the GOP and the House to the Tea Party nut cases. 

Which is a bit ironic to consider that our nation was founded in part on the idea that a lone nut case (King George) couldn't run our lives and now our democracy is at the mercy of a minority group of nut cases.  

Before the GOP had control of the House of Representatives, this lady had Boehner's job as Speaker.  























I don't know why but of all the women in Congress, Nancy Pelosi provides the best photo ops for humor. Michelle Bachmann provides the best headlines but her photos tend to be more scary than amusing.  

But the best subject for funny pictures is this senator from the big honkin', too fuckin' hot and crazy state of Texas.  


















Ted Cruz has two expressions that seem to pop up in so many photos I see of him: 

  • Trying to think
  • About to cry

Now I shouldn't give Ted too much grief for the former. I've had way too many times in my life looking totally gobsmacked trying to remember why I walked into the kitchen. 

But look at those last two pics in the set above. The first word that comes to mind is "petulant". 

And that may be an apt description given Ted Cruz's history. Below is a graphic I created last year when Ted staged the Senate's version of "hold my breath until I turn blue" known as a filibuster in yet another appeal to the hard right to overturn health care reform.  
















































Now it may seem disingenuous to make fun of our leaders on a day Americans are celebrating our country's birthday. But in a way, this is the greatest way to celebrate our gift of freedom.  Too many people in this world still live in oppressive nation states where speaking ill of the leadership is an invitation to be imprisoned or executed.  So take time, my fellow Americans, to be thankful to live in a nation where we can speak in freedom about this country of which we love and sometimes burns our butt.  

And to those who are not Americans but aspire to that dream, do not lose hope in that dream, the dream of freedom as personified by the great nation of Oosah.

No? Still "no" to Oosah?

OK then. Happy birthday, USA!

Dave-El
I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You

Tomorrow:

A bit of post 4th of July spin for this week's edition of Doctor Who Weekend as we look at Americans on Doctor Who
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Next week: 

After two weeks, we're back with an ALL NEW edition of bROkEN nEWs. Jokes and satire ripped right from the headlines, just like a Band-Aid from a hairy leg. And just as much fun. 

Until then, be good to one another. 

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