Monday, September 1, 2014

Your Labor Day Guide To Cow Punching

Hello there and welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, a blog that stands in solidarity with the working man assuming the working man needs a smartass, semi-talented blog writer.

I'm Dave-El and I'm just trying to do my part and hoping that my part is really small 'cause I'm not really up for doing much. It's really hot and today is my day off, you know?

Yep, here in the United States of America or USA (or as I like to call it, Oosah), the first Monday in September is Labor Day, a day to celebrate the honest toil of working men and women that made this country great. Granted, too many of you have jobs that are at or barely above minimum wage and can't afford to celebrate Labor Day or even have the day off 'cause you volunteered for overtime at your 2nd job. But it is through the sacrifice of hard working folks who have so little that it's possible for those who have so much to have even more. 

Thank you. 

So looking around for something to talk about on Labor Day, I came across this comic book cover someone posted on Twitter.  

There are a few things here I want to address. 

  1. Cow Punching is a job? A way of life? An source of pride and personal identity? The man on horse isn't just working a job as Cow Puncher. He IS the Cow Puncher! 
  2. I'm assuming this is about a Western hero named the Cow Puncher. It's hard to tell at that angle if he has a stylized "CP" on his chest.  
  3. It's an AVON comic? The make up people? If so, then the Cow Puncher should look so much younger and fabulous. 
  4. The Cow Puncher is not punching any cows. In fact, there is NO punching and NO cows! 
  5. The Cow Puncher is shooting at those men back there in the distance. Well, shouldn't this be Man Shooter Comics? Then our hero would be known as the Man Shooter
  6. On second thought, maybe not. Man Shooter has too many troubling connotations. 

So if you're going to call a comic book "Cow Puncher Comics", I think something like this bit would have to occur. 

Our scene opens on a Western town as two grizzled men spy something trouble coming into town. 

Clem: Hey, Jed! Look at that!

Jed: Uh oh, Clem! This don't look too good

Our view shifts as we see a herd of cows sauntering into town. They're causing chaos as they snort and moo too loudly, knocking over spittoons and rain barrels. 

Clem: It's them cows again, 'causin' trouble. 

Jed: Them cows got a bad attitude. They deserve a good punchin', that's what. 

Suddenly a strong, firm voice speaks up from behind them. 

Voice: Do I hear there are cows that need to be punched?"

Clem and Jed turn towards the voice. Standing there, framed in the sunlight like a halo is a tall man with a confident bearing. 

Clem and Jed (at the same time): Holy Smokes! It's the Cow Puncher! 

The Cow Puncher tips his hat and smiles. 

Cow Puncher: Hello, men. 

The Cow Puncher steps forward and surveys the scene of the approaching delinquent cows.  

Cow Puncher: I reckon there are some cows that need to be punched. 

The Cow Puncher cracks his knuckles. 

Cow Puncher: And I reckon I'm the man to do it.

The Cow Puncher takes a step towards the advancing cows. 

Cow Puncher: Or my name isn't...the Cow Puncher.


OK, that was...random. And silly. 

Well, enjoy the rest of your Labor Day and I'll see you back here tomorrow. 

Until then, be good to one another.


Dave-El can be found on Twitter here.  

And kudos to Twitter follower Josh Crews who posted the Cow Puncher cover. Josh can be found on Twitter here.

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