Friday, November 28, 2014

Broken News Black Friday Benghazi Special (November 28, 2014)

Hi there! Dave-El and welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You and I am so zonked out on tryptophan right now. 

So how was your Thanksgiving yesterday? Please choose from the following options.
  1. Great
  2. Good 
  3. Tolerable 
  4. Not to be spoken of again. 
And if you picked #4, well, I hear you, people. Damn do I hear you. 

So today is Friday and this is when I usually post bROkEN nEWs and today is no different. 

Except it's going to be different.

Last week saw the release of the report by the House Select Intelligence Committee on Benghazi. The Republican led committee checked into every nook and cranny of the Benghazi tragedy and released their report. So to celebrate this momentous event, please welcome the....

BROKEN NEWS
BLACK FRIDAY
BENGHAZI SPECIAL

  • Brought to you by the number ZERO as in the number of times any wrongdoing was committed by the White House. 
  • And brought to you by the letter B as in "bullshit" which describes the veracity of the claims and accusations of the far right in the wake of the Benghazi tragedy.
  • And also brought to you by the letter B again and once more as in "bullshit" regarding the reactions on Fox News to the findings of the report because they can't fucking let anything go.

So the constant drumbeat of Benghazi as a bludgeon by the GOP and Fox News as culminated in this: an assessment that, yes, mistakes were made and there were things that could be handled better next time but there was no wrongdoing, no illegalities, no cover ups, no conspiratorial agendas.  

All this is really no surprise as this was the conclusion of a report issued by another committee that also checked into the Benghazi situation. But of course that report was biased in favor of the Obama Administration and whitewashed all the Obama and his gang of any responsibility or culpability. The Republicans had to have their own hearings and investigations to get to the real truth of the matter. And so after a couple of years of going over the terrain of the events surrounding the Benghazi tragedy, the Republican led committee came to the same conclusions. 

Folks, your tax dollars paid for all the time and work that went into TWO separate committee investigations that produced the same results. But this is the same thinking that led to the government shutdown last year that cost taxpayers 24 billion dollars just to make a point.  

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This obsession with Benghazi by the far right and the rabble rousers of Fox News has been a recurring topic here on bROkEN nEWs

So today as I take a post-Thanksgiving break, here are a collection of headlines and features from previous installments of bROkEN nEWs that have invoked... Benghazi! 

Hi there! I'm Dave-El and welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, now enhanced with lemon-scented Benghazi!  

#BrokenNews “Issa Makes New Benghazi Demand” Now he wants his Benghazi gluten free!

#BrokenNews "Top Republican Can't Deal With Benghazi Reality" That sentence would still make sense even without the word "Benghazi".

#BrokenNews "Lindsey Graham Somehow Links Ukraine To Benghazi" That's one fucked up map you got there, Lindsey! 

#BrokenNews "GOP Benghazi Probe's New Questions Have Already Been Answered" Yes but NOT answered in the form of a question so there!

#BrokenNews"GOP's Benghazi Chair Revealed A Concerning Opinion" He worried there may not be enough Benghazi in his Benghazi.

#BrokenNews "Right Wingers Are Making Their Middle Names 'Benghazi' On Facebook" And some of them actually spell it correctly too. 

#BrokenNews "Karl Rove Defends Gov. Christie By Invoking Benghazi

ARRGHH!! BENGHAZI?!?! AGAIN?!?!

Benghazi, the all purpose political tool! 

  • It slices, dices, chops and cuts! 
  • It's a toilet cleaner AND a dessert topping! 
  • It tastes great AND it's less filling! 
  • It's short! It's tall! 
  • It's something! It's everything! 
  • It's anything at all! 
You have a well reasoned argument based on facts and research? Fuck you and your argument: I've got BENGHAZI! 
  • Do not use as directed! 
  • Use for any damn thing you want! 
BENGHAZI! 

I think I need to take a moment.




















To be fair, it wasn't always the GOP bringing up Benghazi. Sometimes your humble blogger would use it for my own (alleged) comedic purposes.

#BrokenNews "Rubio Desperately Attempts To Link Climate Change To... Abortion" What, was Benghazi busy or something? 

#BrokenNews "CNN Panel Criticizes Fox News' Bergdahl Report" Well, for one thing, Fox kept spelling "Bergdahl" as "Benghazi". (In their defense, old habits do die hard.)  

#BrokenNews Obama Signs Executive Order On LGBT Rights”  Which Fox News immediately linked to Benghazi. 

#BrokenNews "GOPers Seize On Ebola Fears To Hit Obama" Didja know ebola is caused by Benghazi? It's true!

But Benghazi remained a favorite topic even when other issues were foremost on the minds of Obama's far right opposition. This next headline came up during the Bergdahl mess and the Iraq situation was going to hell. 

#BrokenNews "GOP Senator Accuses Clinton Of Planting Benghazi Cover-Up"
Psst! Dude! Hey, didn't you get the memo? We gotta back burner Benghazi for awhile. We've got that whole Bowe Bergdahl thing to piss on and we're giving shit to Obama about Iraq now. Hey, don't worry, we'll get back to Benghazi later. We'll always have Benghazi.


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I wish I could call this a farewell to the whole Benghazi feeding frenzy but c'mon, it's been too good to those who love to keep to Tea Party and other hard right wing nuts in a constant state of "pissed off" because there's money in keeping them pissed off. 

And hell, Benghazi has made for a quick and easy punchline for me. But I'll make every endeavor to refrain from its use from now on.*

*Yes, there will a Benghazi referenced in next week's bROkEN nEWs.

Remember today's bROkEN nEWs was brought to you by...

  • The number ZERO as in the chances Fox News will never bring this up again.
  • And the letter B as in "bullshit" because, well, you know... 

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The blog is taking a break Saturday but I will be back on Sunday with Episode 2 of The Son of the Master, the new fan fiction I'm writing for my weekly Doctor Who Weekend post.

bROkEN nEWs is back next Friday with an ALL NEW (still only PARTIALLY funny) installment. 

Until then, be good to one another and..




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