Tuesday, February 3, 2015

What the Hell, Amazon? (Part 2)

Hi there, peoples! About a week ago, I posted something called What the Hell, Amazon?, a post about the odd stuff that pops up on my Twitter feed as "Today's Best Deals On Amazon". Sometimes Amazon tells you what the item is or at least its fairly obvious what its supposed to be.

Then there are times when Amazon tosses weird shit out there, totally devoid of context or explanation. 

For example, this weird ass thing. 

It appears to be some kind of a boot-like thing of some sort.  I hope its not really a boot because damn, who would wear boots like these? The gayest cowboy in the world? 

Maybe its a planter? Our neighbors have a decorated boot by their mail box with flowers growing out of it. Maybe this is something like that, what with the flowers on the side.

Is that a penguin poking out of the boot? 

I'm not even sure of the scale of this thing. Maybe's its at actual size and its some kind of chintzy earring or holiday tree ornament, you know, for that gay cowboy in your life.

I have no idea what the fuck this is supposed to be. It looks like an ordinary work boot but it looks too decorative. And what is that gold... stuff inside the book? I don't know why but it looks a very fat, golden hued snail has died there.  

Moving away from footwear... or pseudo footwear as the case may be, Amazon slapped this thingamabob up on Twitter. 

I can't attest to why I feel this way be it looks like a piece of machinery from the early days of the Industrial Revolution, one of those cast iron doohickeys that did stuff including lobbing a finger off once in awhile. 

The beauty of this thing is that appears to be specifically designed to lob off a finger, even several fingers at once, for maximum efficiency.  It's this kind of derring do know how that made America the leading industrial powerhouse in the world! (At least until 1974 when everything started going to hell.)  

So Amazon's looking to make a deal on a multi-function finger lobber offer so act fast if you want to get one of these babies and start lobbing fingers off today. Order now! Those fingers are not going to lob themselves off, you know?


And that's a wrap on this thing. More installments of "What the Hell, Amazon?" the next time I get stuck for a blog idea.

Thank you for dropping by and be good to one another. 

And yes, I must sincerely appreciate that my suffering amuses you so. 


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