Click HERE for Episode One from two weeks ago.
Over to the right of the screen, click on the menu item for yesterday's "bonus" post.
Next the disclaimer.
Scene opens: a city wrecked and ruined by the marauding Cybermen. Buildings reduced to rubble, cars burning. There are people who are trying to restore some semblance of order, helping the wounded, taking away the dead.
Off to the side of all this rubble we see the TARDIS but it's not in it's familiar blue condition. Angled sideways, it's surface scarred and burned as smoke wisps out the broken windows of the police box door. As we pull back, we see the Doctor and Clara looking at the TARDIS.
Clara: The TARDIS! Doctor, what happened?
The Doctor: I was...in the future. I think. Sorry, I'm still a bit disoriented.
Clara: Are you going...
The Doctor: I'm going to be fine. I think. Anyway, I was in the future when suddenly there was a massive temporal event.
Clara: Temporal event?
The Doctor: Something wiped the 4th Great and Bountiful Human Empire out of existence. Great and powerful human achievements, just erased from history. Time cracked and shattered over a hundred millennia! I guess it was so devastating, the event triggered a crack in the universe.
Clara: A crack? You mean like the one I saw on Trenzalore!
The Doctor: Yes! And the TARDIS and I...fell in... and it was. Clara, if there's a hell for Time Lords, I think I was...
The Doctor puts is hands over his face.
The Doctor: I'm so sorry, Clara. I truly am.
Clara: It's all right, Doctor.
The Doctor (hands down and straightens up): No, that's the thing. It's not all right! I should've been here!
Clara: Really, Doctor? What would you have done against an army of Cyberman.
The Doctor: I've defeated the Cybermen before. You saw me do it!
Clara (smiles): Yeah, but you were wearing a bow tie then too so..
The Doctor: Hey! We agreed! We would not speak of the bow tie!
Clara: Oh, and you had quite a chin on ya,that probably gave you an edge against the Cybermen.
Clara and the Doctor look at each other. Suddenly they break out laughing. After a moment, they recover.
Clara: Whoa! Why are we laughing?
Clara looks around at the devastated streets of London.
The Doctor: Because the alternative is to cry. And we don't have time for tears, not now. Later, yes. But now, no.
The Doctor and Clara begin walking away from the TARDIS.
The Doctor: Hmm?
Clara: I need to tell you... something.
The Doctor: Something?
Clara: Something... important.
The Doctor: Well, go on! The suspense is killing me! Which in my case is saying something.
Clara: I'm pregnant.
The Doctor stops walking and Clara stops as well.
The Doctor: Uh....
The Doctor: Uh...
Clara resumes walking.
Clara: Yeah, I figured that would be your reaction.
The Doctor strides forward to walk along side Clara.
The Doctor: Uh.... congratulations? I think?
Clara clutches to the Doctor's arm as they walk.
Clara: Yes, congratulations will do just fine. It's a good thing. really.
The Doctor: So... who's the father?
Clara pulls away and stares at the Doctor sternly.
Clara: Well, who do you think?
The Doctor looks back at Clara, his expression is puzzled and perplexed.
The Doctor still looks perplexed.
Clara: Danny Pink!
The Doctor's eyes go wide with recognition.
The Doctor: P.E.!
Clara: He teaches maths!
The Doctor: Really? So this is a different Danny Pink from the one who teaches P.E.?
Clara glares at the Doctor.
Clara: Really, Doctor, sometimes you...grrrr!
Clara resumes walking. The Doctor has to run a bit to catch up.
The Doctor: OK, OK! Sorry, sorry! So you and...and...
The Doctor: Right, right! So you two are... good?
Clara: Oh, better than good! We're engaged!
The Doctor: Uh...
Clara: Oh, here we go again.
The Doctor: Sorry, a lot to process. So...
Clara: In case you're wondering, no, it's not because of the baby. We got engaged before I found out I was pregnant. Oh, I know it's so cliche but we were actually looking at a June wedding! Can you believe it? It just seemed so perfect...
The Doctor: But...
Clara: But we found out about the baby and decided to get married around Christmas.
Clara stops, a sad expression on her face. Everywhere is burning rubble.
Clara: I suppose Christmas is cancelled now.
The Doctor: Christmas weddings are rubbish. Trust me, I know.
The Doctor steps closer to Clara. Hesitantly but tenderly he puts a hand on her shoulder.
The Doctor: Clara...
Clara looks mildly surprised by the Doctor actually making physical contact with her.
The Doctor: The world has been through a terrible ordeal but over 2,000 years I've seen humanity rise and fall and rise again. It's hard to see now but I believe you lot are going to make this world whole again. And one other thing?
Clara: Yes, Doctor?
The Doctor: Danny Pink...
Clara looks shocked that the Doctor remembers his name.
The Doctor: ...is a good man.
Clara eyes are wide and watery.
Clara: Oh, Doctor...
The Doctor: No, no, no! You're doing that thing with the eyes again! How do you do that?
Clara grabs the Doctor in a firm hug. The Doctor very, very, very stiffly brings his arms down to hug her back.
Clara: Thank you!
The Doctor: You're...
Suddenly the moment is interrupted by the ground shaking violently.
Clara: What the...?
The Doctor: Earthquake!
Clara: In London?
The Doctor takes out his sonic screwdriver and begins to scan.
Clara: Doctor! We can't stay out here! We need...
And just abruptly as it started, the shaking stops.
Clara: ...to get... okay, that's weird.
The Doctor is waving the sonic frantically all around.
Clara: Doctor, what are looking for?
The Doctor: The epicenter! But the earthquake did not originate in any of the surface tectonic plates or...
The Doctor aims the sonic directly at the ground.
The Doctor: Oh no.
Clara: Oh no?
The Doctor: Oh no.
Clara: That's not a good "oh no". Although "oh no" is hardly ever good.
The Doctor looks alarmed.
The Doctor: Things are going to get worse!
The Doctor and Clara rush off. Our view turns in the opposite direction back towards the TARDIS. We see a tall slumping figure in a long coat shuffling through the ruins, the TARDIS directly ahead.
We cut to a very tight close up of this person's eyes, open wide but vacant & unblinking. We see the TARDIS reflected there.
Scene change: a modest but nicely decorated apartment kitchen. We hear a woman's voice.
Voice: M-A-S....espresso is a great way to start the day!
As our view shifts we see the woman from behind, sitting in a chair. There are ropes around her upper body.
Woman: T-E-R....are you going to eat all that pudding?
As our view shifts further, we see it's the Master, in her Missy incarnation, tied to a chair.
The Master: M-I-S-S-Y!
Then Danny Pink enters the room. He is very methodically assembling supplies, his soldier's training kicking in as he gathers things that might be needed to survive in this damaged world.
The Master: (Ahem.) Danny.
Danny does not respond as he leaves the room.
The Master: Danny!
Still no response from Danny.
The Master: MISTER PINK!
Danny re-enters the room and snaps at the Master.
The Master shrugs.
The Master: Nothing. Just wanted to see if you were listening.
Danny: I'm not sure why we're holding you. We should've...
Danny's voice trails off and he resumes his activities.
The Master: Should've...what?
Danny ignores her.
The Master: Should've...killed me?
Danny leaves the room again, ignoring her.
The Master: Kill me? That seems unduly harsh. I mean, yeah, I was desecrating the dead of Earth to change them into Cybermen who I sent on a rampage of death and destruction. But really hasn't everyone wanted to do that at one time or another.
The Master squirms a bit.
The Master: OK, this is the first time I've been tied to a chair since I regenerated into a woman. And...oh, this is embarrassing.
The Master (shouting): MISTER PINK!
Danny: What now?
The Master: These ropes make my breasts itch.
The Master: I know! Who knew that would be a....
Suddenly the kitchen begins to shake violently. Pots and pans rattle and fall. Glasses shatter.
Danny: Earthquake! Oh, haven't we've been through enough?
The Master: Oh, woe and lamentations upon the land! Oh Lord, save us from our suffering!
Then the shaking stops abruptly.
Danny: OK, that was...weird.
The Master: (ahem). Mr. Pink.
Danny turns towards the Master, his eyes glaring at her.
The Master: Now, there is no cause to be rude. But I need to tell you something very important and time is oh so much of the essence right now.
Danny: Oh, do go on.
The Master: Mr. Pink, I really, really need to get out of this kitchen. And when I say "out of this kitchen", I mean....OFF THIS STINKING PLANET!
Danny: What the hell...?
The Doctor's voice: Hell is the right word!
The Doctor and Clara enter. Clara immediately rushes over to Danny and hugs him.
The Master: Oh good! The Paddingtons are home! Now we can have some tea and maybe play a board game.
Clara pulls away from Danny and approaches the Master with a barely contained fury.
Clara: Shut up, evil Mary Poppins!
The Master: Please, I am the Master! Or I'm kind of fond of the name Missy if that...
Clara reaches for a nearby fruit bowl and shoves a tangerine in the Master's mouth.
Clara: Put a sock in it, evil Mary Poppins!
The Master: Plif shtoph cullin muh thaf!
Danny: Doctor, the earthquake...
The Doctor's checking the readings on his sonic.
The Doctor: Not now, P.E.!
Danny: I'm a maths...oh to hell with it! Doctor, she knows something about it.
The Doctor is paying attention to Danny now.
The Doctor: What do you mean?
Danny: While you and Clara were gone, she's been sitting there prattling on like she's completely bonkers. But after the 'quake hit, she's ready to get off Earth. And quick!
The Master: Ah dunf luk tunjerins!
The Doctor: What?
The Doctor takes the tangerine out of the Master's mouth.
The Master: I don't like tangerines.
The Doctor: Tell me! What have you done?
Suddenly the room starts shaking as Clara and Danny look about in a panic. The Master contorts her face into an expression of worry. Meanwhile, the Doctor is ignoring the quaking as he fixes the Master with his wild, wide eyed stare.
The Doctor: What have you done? Tell me now!
Again, the shaking abruptly stops.
The Doctor. Tell. me.
The Master smiles wickedly.
The Master: Little ol' me? Actually, it wasn't me. It was them.
The Master nods her heads towards Danny and Clara.
Clara: What kind of lies are spouting off now?
The Master: The Cyber control bracelet you took from my person. It controlled 99.999% of my Cybermen army.
Danny: 99...what the hell are you talking about?
The Master: I had one Cyberman that was autonomously programmed to operate outside the Cybermen's hive mind. It was a... fail safe.
The Doctor: Go on.
The Master: This fail safe autonomous Cyberman was programmed that in the event of a...however unlikely...mass defeat of the Cyber army, it would engage in a default mode and fly to the center of the Earth.
Danny: I don't think I like where this is going.
The Doctor: Let me guess: some kind of self-destruct protocol, I presume.
The Master: And you would presume correctly. Oh, my Doctor, you are still so very clever. So if we understand each other perfectly, then I would like very much to leave Earth now. Thank you!
Clara: How stupid....? Your "fail safe" is...I mean, why?
The Master (shrugs): It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Danny: Is she talking about...what I think....the end of the world?
Danny turns towards Clara. There's a single tear forming in the corner of his eye.
Danny: Clara! We were going to...have a family, be together and...
Clara: Danny, the Doctor and I have been through this sort of thing before. And the Doctor I'm sure has a plan. Right, Doctor?
The Doctor is standing in front of the Master. From this angle, his face is in shadow. He doesn't answer Clara.
The Doctor leaves forward towards the Master.
The Doctor: You have a TARDIS?
The Master: Of course I have a TARDIS!
The Doctor: Clara, I need the Master's Cyber control bracelet.
She goes to a cupboard.
The Doctor: P.E., untie the Master!
The Doctor: Just do it! We don't have much time!
Then there comes another violent shaking as for more stuff gets tossed around the house. Danny stumbles across the shaking floor towards the Master's chair and unties her. Clara rushes in and hands the Doctor the control device.
Clara: Here, Doctor! We're going to use her TARDIS?
The Doctor scans the device with his sonic screwdriver.
The Doctor: Well, we're not using mine! Right now, for all intents and purposes, it's dead!
The Master stands up stiffly from the chair.
The Master: Oh, I'm going to need a really good massage after that.
Clara: So we'll use her TARDIS to save the Earth.
The Doctor: Something like that!
The quaking subsides again.
The Doctor stops sonicing the device and hands it to the Master.
Danny: Doctor, what are you....?
The Doctor: You have a teleporter in that controller. Enter the coordinates for your TARDIS and transport us there!
Clara: What? Are you crazy?
Danny: We can't trust her!
The Master looks at the controller and smiles.
The Master: You've set this to produce 4 energy signatures, no matter what I do.
The Doctor: Insuring you transport all of us safely to your TARDIS.
Clara: Then we can save the Earth!
The Doctor: One thing at a time!
The Master: It hurts that you don't trust me, Doctor!
Danny: What would you've done if the Doctor hadn't whammied that controller?
The Master (smiling): Teleported myself to safety, left you all to die!
The Doctor (testily): Enough banter! I hate banter! Let's go! NOW!
The Master (sullen): Oh pish posh! You're no fun anymore!
The Master puts the controller on her wrist and begins to work the controls with her fingers. But nothing happens.
The Master: What?
Clara: I can't help notice a distinct lack of teleporting. Doctor?
The Doctor (to the Master): Stop wasting time!
The Master: But it's... it's not working!
The Master angrily points at Danny and Clara.
The Master: You fools! You probably damaged it when you took it from me!
The Doctor takes the controller away from the Master.
The Doctor: Let me see that!
The Doctor scans the device with the sonic.
The Doctor: Well, the good news is this device is working perfectly.
Clara: And the good news is followed by...
The Doctor: The bad news is there's nowhere to transport us to! Your TARDIS no longer exists!
The Master: What? Impossible!
And the shaking starts again, worse than ever before. Danny and Clara clutch at each other again.
The Master: How can my TARDIS be gone?
The Doctor: I have no idea but...
Danny: Doctor, can't that thing transport us somewhere else?
The Doctor: And where would that be, Danny? The whole world's like this!
Danny: Wait! Did you just call me Danny?
The Doctor begins frantically manipulating the controls on the device.
The Doctor: OK, we're out of here!
Four flashes of light and the Doctor, the Master, Clara and Danny are gone. Then the ceiling caves in.
Scene change: the destroyed streets of London, even more devastated by the continuing earthquakes. We see the dark and battered police box that is the Doctor's TARDIS. Four flashes of light and the Doctor, the Master, Clara and Danny appear.
The Doctor: Quickly! To my TARDIS!
Clara: But you said it's dead!
The Doctor: Yes but it's our only chance!
Clara: To save the Earth, right?
The Master: Oh, look at that! I'd almost forgotten about you.
Shambling around outside the TARDIS is the tall man in the long overcoat we saw earlier. It's Jack Harkness. Except his eyes are wide and unblinking and he can only make gurgling sounds.
The Doctor: Jack Harkness? What?
The Master: Oh, I killed him earlier! Don't fret, Doctor! As you can see, he gotten better!
The Doctor: What's happened to him?
The Master: When I killed him, I uploaded his consciousness into the Nethersphere where I presume he's still trapped. So Jack's immortal body came back to life but without Jack inside.
Danny: He's a zombie?
The Master: Yes! Ew! How ordinary! Zombies are so trendy!
The Doctor: Enough talk! In the TARDIS!
Clara, Danny and the Master enter through the TARDIS doors. Zombie Jack starts to stagger after them.
The Doctor (holding up a hand): Jack, no, I'm....
At that moment the shaking ground cannot stand anymore as it the earth cracks open and lava explodes out dangerously close to the TARDIS.
The Doctor: Fine! So we have a zombie now! Go!
Zombie Jack shambles into the TARDIS and the Doctor stops to look at the hellish scene around him, his lined features filled with anguish and fear.
The Doctor (whispers): I'm sorry. I'm so...
Sadly the Doctor closes the TARDIS door.
Scene change: interior of the TARDIS and it's a mess. The console is partly shattered, debris is spread everywhere, the walls are singed and the book shelves that line the upper perimeter have mostly broken and fallen down.
Clara: Oh my God!
The Master: Oh dear! Doctor, you just can't have nice things, can you?
Danny: This looks like a war zone!
The Doctor rushes past them towards the console.
The Doctor: I guess you would know, P.E.!
Clara: If the TARDIS is dead, how are we going to save Earth?
The Doctor turns to face Clara and his expression is pained. Clara's expression shows she's realizing what the Doctor has not been telling her.
Clara: We can't...there's nothing we can do?
The Doctor: I'm sorry, Clara. I...really am but I...
The Master: Oh, Clara. Rule one: The Doctor lies!
Clara turns quickly and punches the Master in the face. The Master falls to the floor as Clara points at her angrily.
Clara: That's for chaining me to a wall! And...and...
Clara shoulders slump and she begins to cry. Danny takes her into his arms.
Danny (to the Doctor): You said the TARDIS is dead. So...
The Doctor turns to frantically work the controls of the console.
The Doctor: Good point, P.E. Right now, this box... is just a box. But I have one chance. One slim chance but time is running...
Scene jump to exterior. We pull away from the TARDIS as the scene around it dissolves into a hellish landscape of molten lava and exploding rocks.
Scene cut: from outer space, the blue-green ball of planet Earth is rivened with red lines as the insides of the planet push out on the surface.
And then, with no warning, a gigantic explosion fills our view. Rocks and ash fly past along ribbons of fire. The explosion clears and where the Earth once was, there is only the blackness of space.
----to be continued----
So let's review:
- Danny Pink is alive...
- And engaged to Clara Oswald...
- Who is pregnant with their child...
- While the Master's Cybermen have devastated the Earth...
- Before outright destroying it.
Yep, that pretty much covers it.
Oh, and Jack Harkness is a zombie now.
So what the Moffat is going on here?!
The adventure continues next week (I hope)...
Until then, be good to one another.
I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You