If My Life Were a Movie

Hi there! 

It's the day after my birthday and if you were here for that post*, geez, I was in a pissy mood! 

*What do I mean "if"? Readers of I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You are a dedicated bunch, particularly that internet spy bot from the Ukraine.

Turns out it might not have just been "birthday blues". 

No, it's not my "time of the month", smart ass! 

But when I was writing that, my head was woozy. Well, woozier than usual. 

And I ached all over. Well, I ached all over more than I normally do. 

Now I've mentioned before I have this thing that hits me every spring sometime between April 1st and May 31st that I call the "allergy cold". It's a full on allergy attack followed by various cold symptoms, possibly even a sinus infection. A couple of years, I got an ear infection. Boy, I was a lot of fun then, answering every inquiry with "WHAT?!?!" 

And in 2012 (also known as My Year of Hell), I had an infected tongue. 

Yes, I said "infected tongue". Well, I called it My Year of Hell for a reason, 

Anyway, I thought that I might be on the edge of the dreaded allergy cold last weekend. In retrospect, I think I was just being lazy. OK, lazier than most other times.  

But when I was writing Friday's post, I hurt. Everywhere. You know, like someone who came out on the really bad end of a session at Fight Club... but without actually being in a fight. 

As I write this, I'm not quite sure what the heck happened. I don't feel great but I can't help think that no, this wasn't the big bad allergy cold. No, nature is just fucking with me and I wish it would stop.  

OK, is it possible that we can have some fun at all with today's post? Well, it depends on how much fun we can have we some Re-Heated Tweets. And damn, these were really cold, stuck way back in the Twitter fridge since March. 

Oh, what the hell! Here are Tweets on the subject of....

#IfMyLifeWereAMovie 

#IfMyLifeWereAMovie People watching it would scratch their heads & ask, "I don't get it. Is this SUPPOSED to be funny?"

#IfMyLifeWereAMovie it would be me sitting on a sofa watching me in a movie about my life sitting on a sofa watching me in a movie about my

#IfMyLifeWereAMovie there better not be more than one scene of me dressed as a Vegas showgirl.

#IfMyLifeWereAMovie I hope #BillHader plays my best friend. Side note: I wish I had a best friend. And that best friend would be #BillHader.

#IfMyLifeWereAMovie I sure hope Michael Bay stays the hell away from it.

#IfMyLifeWereAMovie there would be lots and lots and lots of sex scenes because... because... DON'T JUDGE ME! IT'S MY MOVIE!!!

#IfMyLifeWereAMovie Roger Ebert would return from the dead to ask, "What the hell is this crap?"

#IfMyLifeWereAMovie it would star Tom Cruise and this would finally mark the end of his film career.

#IfMyLifeWereAMovie I'd ask for my money back.

#IfMyLifeWereAMovie there would be a post credit scene of me yelling at the audience, "Go home already!"

Well, that is more than enough of that. Still, I feel I should end today's post on a more special note. 

Wait! I got it! 

And thank you, Morgan Fairchild! 

So tomorrow is Sunday and that means my weekly threat to post a Doctor Who fan fiction.  Sorry, gentle readers, this is one of those weeks where I'm going to deliver on that threat. 

Tomorrow is Episode Four (FOUR, dammit!) of The Crucible of Eternity. Really! 

In the meantime, be good to one another and, hey, sit down in front! I'm trying to watch this movie. 

P.S. I wanted to add this birthday greeting I received yesterday: 

On one hand, it's kind of cute, I guess. On the other hand...is Google stalking me? 

Weird!