Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Persistence of Vision

OK, I'm feeling better now. 

Well, not really but I'm starting to cope a little bit more with things after yesterday.

First of all, my mom gets to stay in her own home some more. But it takes a village, people. After a family meeting, there was a firm plan in place to make sure someone was at least checking on my mom throughout the day. That had already been happening but it was a bit haphazard. Now there's a plan and everyone's taking a turn. 

Well, except me. I'm three hours away. OK, bring back on the guilt. 

Still, if nothing else, I can write checks. I'm not rich by any stretch of the imagination but I'm in the best shape to pay for things as needed. 

You might wonder why we don't get a home care person to come in. That's a great idea. Too bad there are so many loopholes to get insurance to cover such a thing. And paying for it out of pocket and we would quickly find the limits my assets. 

So there's a plan and there are people prepared to do whatever it takes to help my mom stay in her own home and stay healthy for a while longer. 

Except I know I'm not doing everything it takes to

....and we're back to the guilt. 

I feel bad that my depression is even a thing, especially in the face of the true challenges my mother is facing and the rest of the family is facing with her. But it is a thing. I'm not sure what it is about this time of the year but May seems to be a real problem for me when it comes to my mental health. Maybe my allergies are messing with my head. You know, besides just literally.

But in the grip of this downturn, everything becomes a struggle. Simple tasks require effort and concentration. And its hard to keep a healthy perspective on life when there's a corner of your brain screaming...

Yeah, everything is awful. 

The thing I have to remember is to be conscious of not just what I'm thinking and feeling but why. Because if you don't realize the bad stuff in your head is the depression talking, then you might start thinking its all true. And there ain't nothing good waiting in that direction. 

Enough of this.  

So in light of yesterday's mope fest, I thought I would post this. 

Credit where credit is due: this drawing is by cartoonist Chris Haley of Let’s Be Friends Again and colorist Jordan Gibson as part of a regular feature called Comics, Everybody which attempts to explain the rather convoluted back stories of comic book super heroes.This week over on Comics Alliance, they take a look at the history of the Vision, the Avenger's resident android super hero.   

Now if you want to see some mopey mopeyness, click here for a rundown of some of Vision's mopeylicious mopeytude. 

I'll think I bring this post in for a landing. Tomorrow, I need to look outward again, see what's going on beyond my self-centered gloom. Hey, maybe the GOP Presidential candidates are up to something. Let me go look! 


I'm depressed again. 

And I'm so glad my suffering amuses you. 

Well, It's Monday Again.

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