Monday, February 29, 2016

Dave-El Does Hollywood: Oscars 2016 - The Aftermath

You stumble out into the misty dawn of Los Angeles in the early hours of a Monday morning. Your expensive Oscar night gown is rumbled and is hanging off your shoulder. In one hand, you carry a pair of glittering high heeled sling backs, in the other an Oscar trophy. Oh yeah, you won big Sunday night! You got yourself an Oscar! Wow! The event of a lifetime! 


It's all a bit of a blur. The heady rush on stage to accept the award. God, you hoped you thanked everybody...including God. Then there was the press and the flashing lights and then the after parties where you had a drink. 

Or twelve. 

And there may have been some drugs but who knows? 

Ouch! A pebble digs into your bare foot so you fumble with the high heels to get some shoes on your feet. 

Except the shoes are way too small for your feet. And wait a minute! You've never worn high heeled sling backs in your life! You clutch your chest, then your crotch! 

Oh hell! You're a dude! Jesus! What happened? How did you wind up in a Oscar gown from Vera Wang? Whose shoes are these? And that Oscar trophy....that name on the trophy...oh no! OH NO! It can't mean what you think! It can't! It...

Your head swirls and you fall unconscious to the hard ground. 

What happened to you? We may never know. But we do know who won at last night's Oscars so let's see how I did compare to my picks in yesterday's post

If I get the first choice, I award myself 1 point. If the winner is my back up choice, I award myself 1/2 point. If I didn't get it at all, I roll myself into a ball and cry myself to sleep because I really put way too much self esteem on the line for this silly game. 

Best Supporting Actor                    
First Choice: Sylvester Stallone, Creed 
Back Up: Mark Ruffalo, Spotlight
Actual Winner: Mark Rylance, Bridge of Spies

Excuse me but...what the hell? Dude! The fix was in! Sly was gonna get his Oscar for playing Rocky! This was a done deal, Mr. Mark Rylance! Who are you, anyway? Why does either Supporting Actor or Actress trip me up every damn year?!?!

Best Supporting Actress 
First Choice: Alicia Vikander, The Danish Girl 
Back Up: Kate Winslet, Steve Jobs
Actual Winner: Alicia Vikander

Best Original Screenplay
First Choice: Spotlight                                                            
Back Up: Straight Outta Compton
Actual Winner: Spotlight 

Best Adapted Screenplay         
First Choice: The Big Short                                                    
Back Up: The Martian
Actual Winner: The Big Short    

Best Actress
First Choice: Brie Larson, Room
Back Up: Jennifer Lawrence, Joy
Actual Winner: Brie Larson 

Best Actor
First Choice: Leonardo DiCaprio, The Revenant   
Back Up: Bryan Cranston, Trumbo
Actual Winner: Leonardo DiCaprio 

Best Director 
First Choice: Alejandro G Inarritu, The Revenant         
Back Up: Adam McKay, The Big Short   
Actual Winner:  Alejandro G Inarritu

Best Picture    
First Choice: The Revenant
Back Up: The Big Short  
Actual Winner: Spotlight

Best Animated Feature Film        
First Choice: Inside Out
(Don't let me down, Pixar. I didn't make a back up choice!)
Actual Winner: Inside Out     

By the way, if you're looking for some insight into the show itself, you will have to go elsewhere. I actually didn't watch. I did catch Chris Rock's monologue which dealt with the lack of diversity issue head own by calling out that it's really a thing to be concerned about but also putting it in perspective.
Chris Rock: "It’s not fair that Will Smith was this good and didn’t get nominated. It’s also not fair that Will was paid $20 million for Wild Wild West." 

You know who will have a really well written and insightful review of this year's Oscars? My buddy* Ken Levine. Click this link to his blog.

*No actual "buddy" status exists here. 

I knew going in that Best Picture was going to be tricky but as always its a Supporting Acting category that trips me up.  

Final score: 78%. Basically, I got my Oscar predicting ass handed to me for sure this year. I decided to roll the dice on tradition and go with The Revenant but I was still torn between making either Spotlight or The Big Short my back up choice. At one point, I actually had my first choice and back up picks at The Big Short and Spotlight. At any rate, despite the dramatic intensity of Spotlight's subject matter, I really thought that if anyone knock the Revenant out from Best Picture, I thought it would be The Big Short. Well, what do I know?  

I think I used to use more categories in my Oscar picks. It's hard to get above 90% with just 9 awards. I may need to widen out the base to at least 1 more award for next year.   

Maybe one year, I'll actually do some REAL research and go see the freakin' movies for a change.

I'll be back with a new post for tomorrow. In the meantime, remember to be good to one another.   

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