From time to time, I have to turn over this blog to one of my sponsors to help with the surprisingly high expenses of providing entertainment at even this mediocre level. Today is one of those days. So I would ask for your patience and attention to this post from one of my blog's leading sponsors.
Thank you.
_____________________________________
HELLO, LADIES!
- DO YOU WANT A BABY?!
- DO YOU WANT A BABY RIGHT NOW?!?!
- DO YOU WANT A BABY RIGHT NOW FOR LITTLE TO NO MONEY DOWN?!?!?!
WELL, WE CAN HELP YOU CONCEIVE IMMEDIATELY AND GIVE YOU THE BABY OF YOUR DREAMS!! JUST COME ON DOWN TO....
NUTCASE NATHAN'S
INSEMINATION SUPERSTATION
- IS YOUR HUSBAND SHOOTING BLANKS?! MAYBE YOU DON'T HAVE A HUSBAND!
- MAYBE YOU'RE IN A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP!
- OR NO RELATIONSHIP AT ALL!
- OR MAYBE YOU JUST DON'T WANT YOUR COOTER POKED!!
AT NUTCASE NATHAN'S, WE DON'T CARE! YOU WANT A BABY? WE'RE GONNA GET YOU A BABY!!
AND UNLIKE ALL THOSE OTHER SPERM BANKS OUT THERE, YOU'RE GONNA SAVE A TON OF MONEY WITH NUTCASE NATHANS!! HOW?!?!
VOLUME!!!
WE HAVE SPERM FROM HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS OF DONORS!!
- ATHLETES!
- LAWYERS!
- COMIC BOOK RETAILERS!
- FIREMEN!
- POLICEMEN!
- COMIC BOOK WRITERS!
- CEOs!
- POLITICAL LEADERS!
- COMIC BOOK ARTISTS!
- SCIENTISTS!
- ACCOUNTANTS!
AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF SPERM DONATIONS FROM COMIC BOOK READERS!
AND IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A SPERM DONOR WHO'S REALLY INTO DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS AND VIDEO GAMES?! HELL, WE'RE PRACTICALLY GIVING THAT SPERM AWAY FOR FREE!!!! AND THAT SAVES YOU MONEY!!!!
AND THAT'S WHAT NUTCASE NATHAN'S WANTS TO DO: GET YOU PREGNANT FOR THE LEAST AMOUNT OF MONEY DOWN!
AND LET'S NOT FORGET THE GUYS! WE CAN'T DO THIS WITHOUT YOU!! WE'RE OFFERING TOP DOLLAR FOR QUALITY SPERM!! (Sorry, no more gamers, please.)
COME ON DOWN TO OUR COMFORTABLE AND DISCRETE DONATION STATIONS WHERE WE PROVIDE GRADE-A AMENITIES TO HELP YOU PRODUCE THE QUALITY AND QUANTITY OF SEMEN WE NEED!!
- PLAYBOY! (WITH AND WITHOUT TITS!)
- VICTORIA'S SECRET CATALOGS!
- VIDEOTAPES OF BAYWATCH AND GOLDEN GIRLS ON VHS AND BETAMAX!
AND MUCH, MUCH MORE!!!
BUT LADIES, IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU! IF YOU'RE MAD FOR MOTHERHOOD, IF YOU'RE MENTAL FOR MATERNALISM
AND YOU DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO A FULLY FUNCTIONING PENIS, THEN WE ARE HERE TO HELP YOU!
DON'T FORGET TO ASK ABOUT OUR $49.95 TURKEY BASTER SPECIAL, GOOD THROUGH THE END OF THE MONTH! THE FIRST 100 CUSTOMERS TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS SPECIAL WILL GO HOME WITH THEIR VERY OWN WOODPECKER!
SO GET YOURSELF KNOCKED UP AND SAVE MONEY DOING IT AT...
NUTCASE NATHAN'S
INSEMINATION SUPERSTATION
WE'RE LOCATED ON DICK JOHNSON AVE BETWEEN THE ADAM AND EVE RETAIL OUTLET AND THE KLAATU BARADA NIKTO COMIC BOOK AND GAME STORE, RIGHT ACROSS FROM THE SIEMEN'S FACTORY.
SO DON'T BE FORSAKING YOUR NEED FOR BABY MAKING! SEE US TODAY AT...
NUTCASE NATHAN'S
INSEMINATION SUPERSTATION
----------------------------------------------------------
So.
That was....
...a thing....
...that happened.
Sigh.
Well, I guess that is that. I'll be back with a new post tomorrow. I sincerely hope you come back to read it.
Remember to be good to one another.
__________________________________
Just in case....and I'm not sure why this would be a thing but...here are links to the previous Nutcase Nathan's sponsor posts.
- Nutcase Nathan's TVs and Stereo Equipment
- Nutcase Nathan's Legal Services
- Nutcase Nathan's Funeral Services
No comments:
Post a Comment