Tuesday, November 10, 2015

And Now A Word From Our Sponsor: Nutcase Nathan's

Hi there and welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, your Keystone Pipeline to quality wit and wisdom. I'm Dave-El and I'm your boogie man, that's what I am.  

Providing top notch blogging here on the ol' internets does not come cheap and neither does the shit that I post here. So occasionally I have to give a blog post over to one of my sponsors. Today's blog post advertisement is from a new sponsor to the blog so thank you in advance for giving them your time and attention. I'll be back after this commercial message.

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ARE YOU TIRED OF BEING STUCK WITH OUTDATED TV AND STEREO EQUIPMENT?! DOES IT DRIVE YOU NUTS NOT TO HAVE THE LATEST IN VIDEO AND AUDIO ENTERTAINMENT?! 


HEY THERE!! I'M NUTCASE NATHAN AND I'M MORE NUTS THAT YOU!! SO IF YOU WANT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF MY MENTAL INCAPACITATION AND GET A NEW TV OR SPEAKERS AT RIDICULOUSLY SUPER LOW PRICES, 


THEN COME ON DOWN TO...

 

NUTCASE NATHAN'S 

TV AND STEREO 

BARGAINPALOOZA!!


WE HAVE ALL SORTS OF TVs FOR ALL SORTS OF NEEDS!! 

 

  • PLASMA SCREENS
  • FLAT SCREENS
  • CURVED SCREENS
  • VERTICAL SCREENS
  • UPSIDE DOWN SCREENS
  • CIRCULAR SCREENS
  • OBTUSE RIGHT ANGLE SCREENS
  • FRONT PORCH SCREENS
  • DRUG SCREENS
  • ANY KINDS OF SCREEN YOU WANT!!
    HOW CAN WE HAVE THIS MANY KINDS OF TV SCREENS?!! I DON'T KNOW!! MARTIANS, MAYBE?!! COULD BE!! WHO KNOWS?!! I'M NUTS!!


    WE'VE GOT 'EM ALL AT ROCK BOTTOM PRICES!! PRICES SO LOW, YOU'LL THINK I'VE GONE COMPLETELY NUTS!!

    WELL, I HAVE!! I'M NUTCASE NATHAN AND I'LL MAKE ANY DEAL TO HELP YOU GET THE TELEVISION OF YOUR DREAMS INTO YOUR HOUSE, APARTMENT, MOBILE HOME, TRAVEL CAMPER OR CAVE WALL!! I DON'T CARE WHERE YOU LIVE!! 

    BUT YOU'RE GONNA GO BACK THERE WITH A NEW TV FOR THE LOWEST POSSIBLE PRICE OR EVEN LOWER BECAUSE I HAVE NO CONCEPT OF HOW MONEY WORKS!! HEY, I MIGHT BE GIVING THESE THINGS AWAY!! I'M REALLY NUTS ABOUT THIS!!

    WE HAVE TVS OF EVERY SIZE FROM THOSE LITTLE SETS THAT YOU FIND MOUNTED IN THE CORNERS OF HOSPITAL ROOMS TO SUPER DUPER BIG SCREENS THAT CAN FILL THE ENTIRE SIDE OF A HOUSE AND CAN BE SEEN FROM SPACE!! 

    WHAT KIND OF A CRAZY MAN HAS A TV THAT BIG TO SELL?! 

    I DO!! I'M NUTCASE NATHAN!!

    NEEDS NEW SPEAKERS FOR YOUR SOUND SYSTEM?! YOU CAN FIND ALL SORTS OF SPEAKERS AT NUTCASE NATHAN'S: 
     

  • WOOFERS
  • SUB-WOOFERS
  • PRE-WOOFERS
  • POST-WOOFERS
  • ANTI-WOOFERS
  • TWEETERS
  • TOOTERS
  • QUEEFERS
  • TEETERS
  • TOTTERS
  • TEETER-TOTTERS
  • TATER TOTS
  • TATER TOTTENS
  • HOTTEN-TOTTENS
AT NUTCASE NATHAN, YOU CAN HAVE... 
  • GOOD CREDIT
  • BAD CREDIT
  • NO CREDIT
  • EXTRA CREDIT
  • DIRECTOR'S CREDIT

    WE JUST DON'T CARE!! YOUR CREDIT SCORE IS NOT PART OF OUR BUSINESS PLAN!! WE JUST WANT TO SELL YOU THE PERFECT TV AND SPEAKERS AT INSANE NUTCASE PRICES!! AND HOW CAN WE DO THAT?! 




VOLUME!!!!
VOLUME!!!!
VOLUME!!!!
VOLUME!!!!
VOLUME!!!!



THIS SATURDAY, WE HAVE A SPECIAL EVENT WITH...

  • HOT DOGS
  • BALLOONS
  • HOT DOGS IN BALLOONS
  • COTTON CANDY 
  • POLYESTER CANDY 
  • ACROBATS 
  • JUGGLERS
  • CLOWNS
  • GOP PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES

    AND THE FIRST 100 PEOPLE WHO BUY A WIDE SCREEN TV WILL RECEIVE THEIR OWN PERSONAL LLAMA!! 




















BEST BUY AND THE OTHER BOX STORES CAN'T BEAT OUR PRICES AND THEY WON'T GIVE YOU A LLAMA!! BUT NUTCASE NATHAN WILL!! WHY?!! 


BECAUSE I'M NUTS, THAT'S WHY!!


SO COME ON DOWN TO...




NUTCASE NATHAN'S 
TV AND STEREO 
BARGAINPALOOZA!!  

AT EITHER OF OUR LOCATIONS, AT SW EAST BLVD OR NE WEST AVE!! 


SAVE 
SAVE 
SAVE
SAVE 
SAVE  ON TVs AND STEREO EQUIPMENT  AT INSANE DISCOUNT PRICES!!

AND COME EARLY IF YOU WANNA GET A LLAMA!! 











TO OFFER DEALS THIS GOOD, I'D HAVE TO BE NUTS!! AND I AM!! I'M NUTCASE NATHAN!! AND THERE'S NEVER BEEN A BETTER TIME TO MAKE A BETTER DEAL THAN RIGHT NOW AT NUTCASE NATHAN'S















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OK, that was...subtle. 

So be sure to check out Nutcase Nathan's for some great deals on TVs and sound equipment but I might recommend taking along some earplugs, you know, just to be safe.

Well, thanks for your patience with this sponsored blog post but it's either than or pledge drives. And I don't think I have enough Ukrainian Internet Bots reading this blog to make that a viable option. 

I'll be back with another post tomorrow, hopefully of a more sensible nature. Or I might write something about Donald Trump instead. 

Until next time, remember to be good to one another.
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Nutcase Nathan's Conglomerate Inc.


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