Thursday, October 31, 2013

The Internet Is For Corn#3

Hello, there! Dave-El here and this is I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses, a blog that is such a secret even I don't know about it.

Today is Thursday and yes, I know it's Halloween but I blogged about that yesterday. But Thursday is the day I've set aside for that special feature that's come to mean so much to me and...well, just me.

And maybe the American Corn Growers Association.


Today we present #3 (YES, number THREE!) in this exciting inexplicable series.

That ear of corn on the left, the one with the leaf?

Shhhhh! He's asking....

Do You Want To Know A Secret?

Hit it, guys!

You'll never know how much I really love you.
You'll never know how much I really care.

Do you want to know a secret?,
Do you promise not to tell? Whoa oh, oh.

Let me whisper in your ear,
Say the words you long to hear,
I'm in love with you.

Woo-hoo! Bravo! Way to go!

Man, corn is just awesome isn't it? Can we do that again?

Why, YES! Yes we can!

Next Thursday....


Until then, just try to be patient, OK?
Oh, and be good to one another!

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

It's HALLOWEEN! Prepared To Be....Only Moderately Disturbed

Hi there! Dave-El and welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, the blog that puts the "twizz" in your Twizzlers.

Tomorrow is Halloween, my daughter's 2nd favorite holiday. Well, at least it's only one day. Her most favorite holiday is Christmas and she starts celebrating that when a certain local radio station begins playing 24 hours of Christmas music on November 1st. (And THAT will be the topic of a future rant when Dave-El becomes Dave-Ebeneezer.) 

But she gets all excited for Halloween, picking out her costume. Oh, she's in it for the candy big time, that's true but that just the bonus that comes with bringing her costume ideas to life. Last year was pretty cool. I actually joined in on the fun as we both dressed in matching black suits, white shirts, black ties and shades and went out as agents for the Men In Black. We had memory zapping flashy things! Every year, she gets more creative with her costume designs. This year she's a Greek goddess which, trust me, really plays into her normal mind set. 

My best costume for Halloween was the stupidest. I was in high school and put together a Robot Samurai Monk.  Working backward, the Monk part was this long brown robe that I had worn for some thing we did at church. The Samurai part was a old plastic sword I had won at a fair. And the Robot part was a Star Wars C3P0 mask. Thus, Robot Samurai Monk was born! It was stupid but it was probably the most fun I ever had at Halloween.

Mostly, I never got into Halloween. I was a total wuss and hated (HATED!) being scared. I remember losing a whole bag of candy to some jackass who set up some kind of dark cloaked thing with a skull head that loomed up out of the bushes with a speaker amplified "BOO-WHA-HA-HA-HA!!!!" and some nasty threat about taking my soul. I lost dozens of Snicker bars and you know? I'm still pissed off about that!

Ironically, we have a dark cloaked figure with a skull head in our living room. When he's plugged in, he spouts off scary nonsense and his skull head glows. I'm not sure how scary he's supposed to be since his skull head glows in rainbow colors. I call him "Steve". It irks my daughter when I call him that. She says his name is "Skeletor". I've tried to explain to her that Skeletor is the name of the villain in He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. I say "I've tried" because I can't get past saying "He-Man" without her giggling. 

But Halloween for me? Meh. I mean, I do try. For example, I own a black cape with a red lining. Sometimes I put that on with my regular clothes. People will comment, "Hey, you're a magician!" or "Are you Dracula?" Nope, I am....Guy With A Cape. OK, one year I decided to go crazy and inverted the cape. That year I was....Guy With a RED Cape. Oh, I do know how to get down!

OK, a few weeks ago, this topic was trending on Twitter:   These were ideas for nicer, not quite as scary horror films. So if you want less "bump" in your "night", here are some options. 

Instead of Dawn of the Dead, watch the more restful Afternoon of the Dead. Aren't zombies less scary on a pleasant, sunny afternoon? Pour some lemonade and invite a zombie up to the front porch just to sit a spell and talk. And speaking of zombies....

Why watch The Evil Dead? Is there a reason why the Dead has to be Evil? No! So perhaps you might want to watch the less frightening The Kind of Just Annoying Dead. And who knows? Maybe that shambling monstrosity of the undead might be a bit less annoying if you just get to know him better.

What about The Hills Have Eyes? Why, how ludicrous is that! Hills don't have eyes! If they did, it would be very unnerving. So explore the more peaceful alternative of The Hills Have Pine Trees. I think everyone agrees pine trees are very nice and make for a more relaxing experience while exploring the eye-free hills.

In the film A Nightmare on Elm Street, a scary killer demon creature attacks and kills people in their sleep! Yikes! Look, I'm having enough trouble sleeping worrying about my property taxes. I sure don't need worry some weirdo with prune skin and sharp claws shredding me to bits while I slumber. I think a more enticing option would be to watch A Daydream on Elm Street ; the scariest thing that could happen there is the bartender runs out of pina colada on the tropical island you've escaped to in the middle of that mid-afternoon meeting.

In The Shining, a writer goes kill crazy on his family! Look, buddy, we've all thought about going there...really, we all have, right? Just me.  Er, then no, no we have not all been there. Anyway, temper that murderous rage with the calming influence of The Glowing. Ah, you feel better already, don't you?

And finally, one of the most gruesome, horrifying, totally disgusting horror films ever made was The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Really, I can't believe any one in their right mind would want to watch someone using their chainsaw for evil. Can't a chainsaw be used for good? Can a chainsaw be used for the Lord's work? It can in The Texas Chainsaw Mass, the story of a good priest who helps the sick and the poor armed only with his faith in God. And a chainsaw.

Well, let's call a wrap on that topic.

I hope YOU have a fun Halloween. Just a word of caution: if your friends are encouraging you to go out Halloween night as Invisible Ninja, you might want to re-think your life choices.

Be good to one another. 

Art by Ricardo Bessa (Kind of fits the spirit of Halloween, you think?)

Monday, October 28, 2013

How To Be MORE Attractive

Hi there! Dave-El here and welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, the blog that thinks you look really pretty in candlelight.

Today, I'm going to pontificate on what I find attractive in women.

I think the generally accepted wisdom is that men like to see women naked or, if not naked, as naked as you can get and not be arrested for public nudity. Scantily clad is just fine because there's not much in the way to getting to naked.

Comedian Ron White once said, "Once you've seen one woman wanna see all of 'em naked."

Maybe I'm weird but....OK, no "maybe", I AM weird but I gotta say, naked (or any socially acceptable or tolerated near naked state) is not really a thing for me and here's why.

Anybody can be naked.

Granted, not everybody should be naked. In fact, there's a very narrow window of opportunity for even a select few who are blessed by God and/or genetics to look good naked, after which you're not doing either of us any favors. For most of us (and I sure as hell include myself in this), being seen naked is something that never should happen, ever. Even after we're dead. If I was naked in a morgue, I would just die of embarrassment.

But while very, very, very few people look good being naked, in the end, whether you're toned or flabby, young or old, anybody can be naked. It takes no skill, no imagination to be naked. Take your clothes off and boom, you're naked.

But being well dressed? Now THAT takes talent or panache or style. Some people have an inherent sense of it but others can learn. And unless you're an emaciated stick figure or a stunt double for Jabba the Hut, there are things within out power to make us look good.

But is being well dressed a dying art? In the corporate world where casual dress has become the norm, people seem more content to press the boundaries of what is acceptably casual than to explore what looks good for them. That's not to say we need to start dressing up every day in suits and ties or dresses and high heels. If you're a guy who favors polo shirts, that's fine; but wear polo shirts that look good for you. Instead, the attitude of too many people is "What the hell, just throw something on."

Me, I like a well dressed woman. Elegant, refined but not overstated. Three of my favorite celebrities that I find attractive are Zooey Deschanel, Anne Hathaway and Tina Fey and each for different reasons. Zooey's quirky and a free spirit. Anne has a beauty that is at once regal and yet warm. And Tina has a quick wit and sharp mind. And all three know how to rock a cocktail dress like nobody's business. Ultimately, they are who they are and they look good doing it.*

*And if anyone is picking up on something else these women have in have in common in these photos, well that might be the topic for another day.

Zooey Deschanel, Anne Hathaway and Tina Fey

OK, let's move on to the thing that prompted this discussion.

As is my want, I'll gather Tweets from Twitter account (which can be found here) on a certain topic and bring them over to the blog where I re-heat them, add a little cheese and voila! Blog post! 

Today's gathering of Tweets was on the subject of You're More Attractive If. So if I'm even remotely interested in you, here are things to make yourself even MORE attractive in my eyes.

you let me pay for time.

you say your major turn on is a middle aged white guy with low self-esteem because I...could pretend to be that guy.
you are sweet, loving and kind...or willing to engage in wild monkey sex, either one is good.
you will accept my Living Social 40% off coupon.
you think that your sexual satisfaction is not really that important because I'm kind of on a tight schedule here.
you do that little hair flip. Yeah, like that. Yeah, there it is again. And again. Are you having a seizure?
you stop making those hacking sounds. You're pointing at your throat. Chair? You need chair? Sorry I don't understand
you wear high heel pumps instead of open toed shoes so I can't see that deformed 6th toe that looks like Ed Asner.
you do agree that my name is Sven Bigglehorn & I'm on a secret mission for Sweden.
at least one of us is drinking. On second thought, we BOTH should be drinking.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Doctor Who: The Nemesis Who Stole Time-Part 13


Hello! Dave-El here and welcome to my blog, I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You and today may actually be Sunday but dadgum I'm still calling this Doctor Who Saturday and today we present the 13th and final chapter of The Nemesis Who Stole Time.


Guys and gals, it's a long one! But there is a LOT of ground to cover!


I'm only posting the link to Part 12. Go there for the links to Parts 1 through 11.


I am also dispensing with the photos that I've added in past installments because of the extra length of this installment.


OK, let's do the disclaimer....



The Nemesis Who Stole Time

Part 13 – The Final Chapter


Scene opens: Night sky, clear except for a few wisps of clouds, the stars are bright. Our view moves across this serene nighttime tableau.

1st Doctor (VO): There came the day when I decided to run. Running from what? Ah, that’s a story for another time. But what I was running towards was what interested me most. The infinite reach of the universe! The mysteries of time! It was the unknown that excited me! I did not know what I would find…

Suddenly the TARDIS streaks across the sky, on fire and tumbling through the sky

1st Doctor (VO): Or when the journey would end.

Scene change: Tall stacks of books neatly aligned on rows and rows of shelves that stretch up to an ornate vaulted ceiling as our perspective moves about the room and the 1st Doctor comes into view, grasping the lapels of his coat.

1st Doctor: And I certainly never imagined I would wind up here.

Our view widens. This is the library in the TARDIS. As our perspective broadens, we see other versions of the Doctor (2nd Doctor to 10th Doctor) in various states of standing or sitting around the vast library. The 11th Doctor walks into view next to the 1st Doctor.

 11th Doctor: I don’t think we ever did. Listen up, all of me! We’ve got a lot of work to do but we need to assess our status. 

2nd Doctor: I must say, who died and put you in charge?

11th Doctor: Well, not to be too crass about it but…all of you….sooner or later.

2nd Doctor: Oh. Oh, yes. I, er, see your point.

3rd Doctor: I believe it makes sense to have the version of me that’s on the leading edge of our timeline…

4th Doctor: That’s one way of saying “He’s old.”  

11th Doctor looks kind of hurt as the 4th Doctor smiles and pops a jelly baby in his mouth.

3rd Doctor: Well, ah, I was trying to be polite about it but yes.

5th Doctor:  I concur, it helps to have a focal point.

6th Doctor: I will point out, however, that thanks to this strange reverse regeneration phenomenon, some of us (gestures from the 5th Doctor to the 10th) actually have the full life experiences of our elder self.

11th Doctor: Elder?

7th Doctor: Which we believed the psionic temporal matrix would rectify and return us to our own proper places within my timeline and the altered patterns of our life restored.

8th Doctor: And that could still happen! Whatever directed the matrix to gather us here, in the old one’s TARDIS…

11th Doctor: Hey!

8th Doctor: The effects I…uh, we…intended from the matrix may yet take effect.

9th Doctor: I don’t think so.

4th Doctor: And why is that?

9th Doctor: The psionic temporal matrix sealed the fissure that ran along our timeline.

5th Doctor: But not the damages caused by the paradoxes.

9th Doctor: Precisely! As long as the paradoxes remain open, the matrix energy could not return us to our proper points in our timeline. It could only bring us together in one point, here in the farthest point in the future of the timeline that extends to him. (pointing at the 11th Doctor)

5th Doctor: The old guy.

11th Doctor: Cut that out!

9th Doctor: Precisely!

1st Doctor: But how can the fissure along our timeline be repaired but still leave the paradoxes in place?

4th Doctor: Perhaps something is holding the paradoxes in place.

1st Doctor: Impossible!

10th Doctor: Not for a paradox machine.

1st Doctor: A paradox machine? That’s…

10th Doctor: Impossible, yes, I know. But I have seen one before.

3rd Doctor: Really? Where?

10th Doctor: You’re standing in it.

3rd Doctor: I’m standing in it?

10th Doctor: Well, not really, not now. But the Master once got hold of the old girl (pats TARDIS console) and wired her up as a paradox machine.

7th Doctor: And the Master has been involved in this whole mess!

3rd Doctor: Well, it’s rather disturbing to know that my old enemy is still causing trouble.

6th Doctor: Involved? Yes. Causing? No.

3rd Doctor: Knowing the Master, he may THINK he’s in charge or at least a partner even when he’s just a pawn.

2nd Doctor: Of the Daleks!

5th Doctor: From what I saw, it quite clear who was in charge.

2nd Doctor: But a Dalek Supreme Commander of Time? It seems unfathomable!

9th Doctor: Much like everything else that’s happened to us.

2nd Doctor: That is quite true.

1st Doctor to the 11th: What do you think, old fellow?

11th Doctor says nothing but stares coldly at the 1st Doctor who simply smiles back with a mischievous grin. At that moment, a cell phone can be heard ringing from the 11th Doctor’s jacket.

11th Doctor: ‘Scuse me. Hello? Oh! CLARA!

 Scene cut to: classic TARDIS console room. Romana is working at the console with the Key to Time and River is still on the TARDIS monitor screen, stuck in the time eddy. Clara Oswald is pacing the floor, very excited.

Clara: DOCTOR! My Doctor! Where are you? When?

Split screen: 11th Doctor’s TARDIS on the left, 4th Doctor’s TARDIS on the right,

11th Doctor: Not sure about the “when” but the “where” is all of us are in the TARDIS! My TARDIS!

 Clara: All?

11th Doctor: All my past selves! It’s quite a blast even if all my other selves keep calling me "old".

Clara: But you are old.

11th Doctor: Not helping, Clara! Where are you?

Clara: I’m in the TARDIS! A TARDIS? No, your TARDIS but from a past self, the 3rd I think?

Romana: Fourth.

Clara: Right, fourth!

11th Doctor: Clara, with whatever wibbly-wobbly is going on, the Hypercube and the Key to Time are no longer in the TARDIS console here. Do you…?

Clara: We have it here! And Doctor? Romana has assembled the key!

11th Doctor: Clara, put Romana on. I’ll put this on speaker.

Romana: Doctor!

All eleven Doctors: Yes, Romana?

Romana: Now that was very disconcerting. Just one please?

4th Doctor (to the 11th): May I? (11 nods his assent) Now the mere act of assembling the last portion of the Key to Time should have activated its primary function and reset the cosmos. I take it that didn’t happen?

Romana: No, it did not.

All eleven Doctors look sad, frustrated.

Romana: But it’s doing….something.

4th Doctor: Something?

Romana: Yes, I know that’s not helpful but it so far defies anything in my experience.

River (from the monitor): It’s in a reality shift.

Romana: What?

11th Doctor: River! You’re there!

River: Yes. And no.

4th Doctor leans towards the 11th Doctor’s ear.

4th Doctor (low voice): We had to put her in a time eddy again.

River: I’m in a time eddy!

11th Doctor (low voice): Uh oh! She doesn’t well with time eddys.

River: I don’t deal well with time eddys. 

11th Doctor: You said it’s in a reality shift?

River: Yes, it’s sort of similar to what  happened during our adventure at Lake Silencio when time folded on itself, my love.

1st Doctor: Wait, did she just say "time folded in on itself"?

2nd Doctor: Wait, did she just say “my love”?

River: Except focused on one object, the Key.

2nd Doctor to the 11th: What are you up to in my future? Are you and she..?

11th Doctor: Shh! Not now. Romana, can you link your TARDIS to the energy patterns of this reality shift?

Romana: Yes, why?

10th Doctor: Because the Key to Time is trying to get somewhere!

9th Doctor: And that Key may be our last chance to fix everything!

8th Doctor:  I know the White Guardian was uncertain if the Key would even be able to function at all.

4th Doctor: Oh, you’ve seen the White Guardian again? How is he?

8th Doctor: She’s fine.

4th Doctor: Oh, that’s good to…she?

Clara: I don’t think the White Guardian would’ve had us chase after it unless she saw some real chance it would work. We’ve come too far to stop now.

5th Doctor: I agree!

6th Doctor: Makes sense to me.

Romana: All right, I’m mapping the de-materialization circuits to match the energy wavelength of the reality shift and…

Suddenly the whole right side of the screen goes white.

4th Doctor: Romana!

11th Doctor: Clara! River!

The left side of the screen expands to fill the whole screen.

The Doctors collectively stare at the now silent phone.

3rd Doctor: They’re gone!

2nd Doctor: Yes, but where?

5th Doctor: A good question but we have to trust…

9th Doctor: Trust? Trust in what? I’m tired of trusting in…in things.

7th Doctor: As Clara said, we’ve come too far to stop now.

6th Doctor: Well, we can’t just stay here!

5th Doctor: No, we can’t and I know exactly where we need to go.

2nd Doctor nudges 11th.

2nd Doctor (low voice): Seriously, you and this River person, what…

11th Doctor (low voice): Not. Now.


Scene change: An old stone floor. We hear scraping sounds. Then we see the legs of a man in black jeans, moving backward. He pulls into our view a statute that is making the scraping sounds. But it’s not any statue: it’s Martha Jones. And the man is Jack Harkness.

Jack: Martha—urgh!—you’ve put on—ugh!---a little weight.

Our view widens as we return to the atrium we saw in Part 12. The Weeping Angels are still, their backs inexplicably turned toward this action taking place. The Angels are aligned along the circular wall except for one section of wall where there is an open door with golden light pouring out.

Jack: What the hell—ack!—am I doing? This is---urgh!—crazy. But something tells me—ugh!—this is going to be over—ack!—one way or—urgh!—another.

Out of nowhere, there’s hand on Jack’s shoulder. Jack cries out in alarm and starts to drop statue-Martha but the 3rd Doctor and 10th Doctor reach in to grab it/her.

3rd Doctor: Steady there, now!

10th Doctor: I’ve—ugh!—got her!

Jack whirls around and the 9th Doctor is standing with the 7th behind him.

Jack: Doctor! Doctors!

9th Doctor: Hello, Captain Jack! In trouble or causing trouble?

7th Doctor: What, pray tell, are you doing?

Jack: Whew! To be honest, I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m not sure I can chalk it up to instinct, even. More impulse than anything, I suppose.

3rd Doctor and 10th Doctor steady statue-Martha. The 10th Doctor gently puts a hand on statue-Martha’s shoulder.

10th Doctor: Oh, Martha, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.

3rd Doctor: Forgive me, old chap, but this…is not a statue?

10th Doctor (sadly): No, no. Her name is…was Martha Jones. She travelled with me.

7th Doctor (approaching for a closer look): Oh dear! Is there any way to save her?

10th Doctor (shakes his head): No.

9th Doctor (to Jack): So what is this…impulse…telling you to do? And….

9th Doctor looks around the room.

9th Doctor: Why are the Weeping Angels ignoring us? (gestures to the ring of Angels with their backs still turned)

Jack: I have no idea. But I was in a cell and one of them let me out. And they’ve stayed out of my way ever since.

3rd Doctor: Weeping Angels? I’ve heard stories of them.

7th Doctor: More than just stories, I’m afraid.

10th Doctor (to Jack): But THIS is very strange. Jack, I know you haven’t kept all of them in sight the whole time.

Jack: Not looking at them, blinking like crazy. Yet not a move.

10th Doctor: Still quantum locked. But my other self with the leather fixation had a very pertinent question that still needs answering: what are you doing with Martha?

7th Doctor: Are all of me…feeling that.

3rd Doctor: A familiar…tingling sensation.

9th Doctor: Like…regeneration energy.

Jack: Well, Doc…er, Doctors, you’re on the right track. C’mon, take a look at this.









Scene change:  The chamber of The One. His tentacles are flailing very agitatedly as Daleks glide or fly away from him.

The One: The Doctor…seeks to defy the will…of the Supreme Dalek Commander of Time! Pitiful Time Lord! Multiply him…a hundred times over…a thousand…and he is still nothing…his purpose…at an end…his continuing existence…a mere annoyance…but an annoyance…I will NOT tolerate! Destroy the Doctor…utterly! Incinerate his atoms! Erase him from all…of time’s memory!

Daleks (collectively): We obey.  

The One settles down a bit. Even with his bizarre features and tentacled form, The One is clearly pensive.  

The One: This is…disturbing? NO! That is a…human emotion. But for the first time…since this great campaign…began I…cannot…see...all things. There are…shadows…in the tapestry of time. Is it possible…there are things…that I…a god of time…do not know?

Voice of the 11th Doctor: Well, for starters, you don’t know have company!

The One reacts with a start as the 11th Doctor steps into the light.

The One: The Doctor!

11th Doctor (flippantly): The one and only! Well, not lately! I guess its more of  “one out of eleven and not so only” which is factually correct but lacks a certain pithiness, pizzazz, panache and other words that begin with “P” but I don’t feel like thinking of so forget I mentioned it.

The One: Doctor, however…you came to be here…it is a FATAL mistake!

11th Doctor: Oh, I don’t think so, Scooter!

The One: I have…millions… of Daleks…at my command!

Voice of the 2nd Doctor: You could have billions of Daleks….

The 2nd Doctor steps into view.

2nd Doctor: But it doesn’t matter. You are finished!

The One: You are…fools! I see ALL time! I control ALL time! I AM ALL TIME! I…AM…A GOD…OF TIME!!!!     

11th Doctor: Oh brother.

2nd Doctor: Not another self-delusional power mad maniac.

The One: You…dare…mock….me?!?!

5th Doctor (entering): Well, that brings up an interesting point! 

The One: YOU! You CANNOT be here! You were DESTROYED!

5th Doctor: Obviously…not.  

6th Doctor (entering): Odd, isn’t it, that a so-called “God of Time” cannot grasp the obvious.

5th Doctor: Or that a so-called “God of Time” can be surprised!

The One: Doctor! You are…pests! Skittering in…from the shadows! I will…exterminate you! Exterminate! EXTERMINATE!

2nd Doctor: Ah, now THAT sounds like a Dalek!

11th Doctor: Oh, good to know that just because you’ve come out of your shell…


2nd Doctor: Literally.

11th Doctor: …that you can still go back and revisit your classic material.

The One: At my core…I am still…Dalek. Even at that…I am superior.

6th Doctor: But let me guess? You have a little something extra?

The One: I have been…blessed.

5th Doctor: “Blessed”? Odd choice of words for a Dalek.

The One: Yet the word…is apt. The power of time…has guided me…since I fell from…the realm of damnation…the last Dalek survivor of the Time War. 

2nd Doctor: “Realm of damnation”?

11th Doctor: Otherwise known as “Hell”. (quietly) Where I sent all the Daleks.

The One: And…the Time Lords.

11th Doctor (quietly): Yes. And the Time Lords.

2nd Doctor: What are the two of you talking about? “Time War”?  What do I become in the future?

The 11th Doctor does not respond.

5th Doctor: You know…I can’t answer that.

The One: I…can. You become…the Destroyer of Worlds.

6th Doctor: The testimony of a Dalek? And a mad one at that?! Ha!

5th Doctor: The Daleks are the most destructive and deadly race in all of creation!

2nd Doctor: And what you’re doing here transcends all the evil the Daleks have done before!

The One: It is…a glorious achievement…

11th Doctor: It is an abomination…

The One: Accomplished with…your help…Doctor.

2nd Doctor: More lies!

The One: No, Doctor. Your contribution…was most…significant. 



Scene change: Interior of the TARDIS (current version). The 1st, 4th and 8th Doctors are around the console, all engaged with the controls.

4th Doctor: Where is the blasted helmic regulator?

1st Doctor: This whole design does seem rather…unnecessarily busy, doesn’t it?

8th Doctor: I think it has a certain sense of charm, I suppose. But we shouldn’t be here; we should be helping our other selves.

1st Doctor: We are helping if we can track down that Key to Time.

4th Doctor to the 8th: Come over here. You’re one of my future selves that’s experienced reverse regeneration. See if you can find the helmic regulator and the links to the Heisenberg buffers while you’re at it.

1st Doctor: What are you trying to do?

4th Doctor: I’m trying to find Romana and Clara.

1st Doctor: I know that, my good man, but how?

4th Doctor: I’m trying to replicate Romana’s maneuver that allowed us to locate my fifth self before.

8th Doctor: But that only worked because the two of you had relatively recent contact with the Key to Time in your TARDIS. There was a trace of energy from the Key still to track.

1st Doctor: This future version of the TARDIS, so many centuries removed from your time, would not have that energy.

4th Doctor: Good thing I'm not tracking the Key to Time, then.

8th Doctor: Then what are you…?

1st Doctor: You’re tracking back along the temporal psionic matrix energy that drew us from your TARDIS and brought us here.

4th Doctor (smiling): Precisely.

8th Doctor: But the TARDIS crossing its own time stream is dangerous. You were only able to do it before because the other TARDIS was dead.

4th Doctor: Then we better not cross the time stream.

4th Doctor pulls a lever, the time rotor begins to move.

4th Doctor: Gentlemen, we may have a bit of a wait.









Scene change: Jack along with Doctors 3, 7, 9 & 10 are looking at the configuration of Angels, energy, the paradox machine & the shadows above it all.

3rd Doctor: This is…astonishing.

9th Doctor: The regenerative energies from our moments of stolen time powering a paradox machine

7th Doctor: And that field of darkness above it. that…?

10th Doctor: Yep. Vashta Narada. Locked and loaded like a gun.

9th Doctor: And aimed at…entire planets? Star systems? Is that even…possible?

3rd Doctor: Given all that I…that we have seen, I am of the opinion that the impossible is no longer a deterrent to anything.

Jack: The Great Negation was NOT the Great Negation.

7th Doctor: It’s an amalgamation of Vashta Narada and temporal paradoxes powered by…oh dear.

9th Doctor: You’re thinking what I’m thinking.

7th Doctor: Of course I’m thinking what you’re thinking.

10th Doctor: Me too.

Jack: What? What’re all of you thinking?

3rd Doctor: Dear boy, the realization that they’re coming to and that I, unfortunately, share is that the destruction of all creation…is our fault.



Scene change: The chamber of The One flanked by the 2nd, 5th, 6th and 11th Doctors.

The One: The Master was first…acquired to provide the energy…needed to power…this great endeavor. Using a Time Lord…in our conquest…of all things…

 2nd Doctor: I imagine it was a bit humiliating: the so-called superior Daleks needing a Time Lord.

The One: It. Was. Necessary. The Master seemed…an excellent specimen. In his…reckless pursuit…of his own misguided ambitions…had regenerated often. There was much energy…to be gained from…reversing them.

5th Doctor: But that was not enough for you, was it?

6th Doctor: Just like a Dalek: the more power it has, the more it wants!

The One: The regeneration energies…we obtained…from the Master…were sufficient. But there was…another goal to changing…the Master’s timeline.

11th Doctor: Creating temporal paradoxes.

The One: Weakening the fabric…of time and space…facilitated our forces…of destruction. But the paradoxes created…by the Master’s changes…were NOT sufficient…to my…to our objectives.

11th Doctor (to himself): I’m not sure I like where this is going.

The One: The Master’s impact…on the universe…was insignificant. But you…Doctor…with your constant…interference…throughout time and space…changing your timeline….created temporal paradoxes….of enormous power…with destructive potential…exceeding anything…accomplished in the history…of the Daleks.

2nd Doctor: So I am…or rather, we are a partner in your mad folly.

The One: A pawn. No more…than the Master was.

2nd Doctor: No. I don’t think so.

Both the 2nd and 11th Doctors aim their sonic screwdrivers at The One while the 5th and 6th Doctors split up and approach the machinery around The One.

2nd Doctor: My resolve in defeating you did not need any more strengthening…

11th Doctor: But that is ALL your little revelation has done.

5th Doctor: There are power couplings connecting The One to…whatever he’s using.

6th Doctor: I’m not sure of the source but we can cut it off from here.

The One (tentacles twitching): No! What are you doing? Daleks! Attend MEEEEE!!

11th Doctor: For extra assurance, we can disrupt the direct connections to his form.

2nd Doctor: Sonic screwdrivers at the ready, Doctor?

Outside the walls of the chamber, the sounds of Daleks can be heard approaching.

2nd Doctor: We better hurry!

The One: You cannot do this! YOU CANNOT DEFEAT MEEEE!!!!!!

11th Doctor: Ready, Doctor!

5th Doctor: Ready, Doctor!

6th Doctor: Ready, Doctor!

The One screams in rage as the 2nd and 11th Doctors’ sonic screwdrivers trill loudly and the 5th and 6th Doctors sabotage the machinery. Smoke and sparks fly everywhere.

Then the chaos begins to quiet down as The One slumps over and his tentacles slowly stop twitching.

2nd Doctor: Is it…over?

5th Doctor: Seems too easy

11th Doctor: What happened to the Daleks outside?

6th Doctor: Someone should check!

2nd, 5th and 11th Doctors: Not it!

6th Doctor frowns at the other Doctors.

6th Doctor: Fine.

The 6th Doctor tentatively opens the door to the chamber.

2nd Doctor: Well?

6th Doctor: All the Daleks are…gone!

2nd Doctor: Gone!

5th Doctor: But we’re still here.

11th Doctor: The paradoxes are still in place. So…

2nd Doctor: The source of his power…

The One’s tentacles abruptly began flailing everywhere and fire starts shooting out of its eyes.

The One: Did you THINK…the GOD of TIME…could be so easily removed…from MY POWER?!?!?

Energy shoots out from the various tentacles that zap around the room and strikes the Doctors. Except the 6th one who is just outside range by the door. Then he hears sounds from behind him.

Dalek voices (like echoes but become more clear): Exterminate. Exterminate! EXTERMINATE!

The 6th Doctor looks behind and sees the ghostly shapes of Daleks as they become more real

6th Doctor: Uh oh.




Scene change: Interior of the classic TARDIS. Clara has her cell phone out which is on speaker. Romana is at the console controls while River is still in the monitor.

Clara: I don’t think the White Guardian would’ve had us chase after it unless she saw some real chance it would work. We’ve come too far to stop now.

9th Doctor (voice over the phone): I agree!

6th Doctor (voice over the phone): Makes sense to me.

Romana: All right, I’m mapping the de-materialization circuits to match the energy wavelength of the reality shift and engaging the time rotor.

Suddenly there is a blinding light over the TARDIS console.

Clara (to the phone): Doctor! Doctors! Something’s happening! Hello? They’re gone!

River: Romana, what’s happening?

Romana: The TARDIS is engaged but instead of moving itself through time and space, it’s drawing something here!

Suddenly, the Key to Time that Romana had assembled and was resting on the console disintegrates into dust. Meanwhile the light over the TARDIS consoles grows brighter still.

Clara: Romana! The Key!

River: That light! I’ve seen something like it before!

Romana: I have too!

Clara: Well, someone clue in the new girl!

Romana: It’s a space warp opening right here in the TARDIS!

Clara: Is that dangerous?

Romana: Yes! Well, maybe! I really don’t know!

Clara: Well, thanks for clearing that up!

Suddenly the light abates and floating and twirling slowly in the air is a perfectly shaped crystalline cube.

Romana (whisper): The Key to Time.

Romana reaches out tentatively with both hands and gently grasps the cube.

Clara: How is that possible?

River: The key fragments we were collecting, Clara. Once assembled, it apparently had one function.

Romana: To seek out…itself? From a time before it was destroyed.

River: Romana, the Key! It’s fully assembled, it should be…

Romana: No, it’s not! I can…sense it’s alive…in a way but…I think the Key is waiting for something.

Clara: Waiting? Waiting for what?

At that moment, there comes a knock at the TARDIS door.

Clara (startled): What the…? Someone’s…at the door?

River: Clara, Romana! Be careful!

Romana (holding the Key): It’s alive and waiting…

Holding the key in one hand, Romana’s other hand pulls the lever to open the doors. And in walks the 1st, 4th and 8th Doctors.

4th Doctor: Well, it’s about time you got here!

8th Doctor: We’ve been waiting for a week!

Clara: I…I don’t understand.

1st Doctor: Dear, different versions of the same live TARDIS cannot be in the same segment of space-time.

4th Doctor: So I tracked back to this TARDIS and then landed a week before this one appeared.

8th Doctor: It was a LONG week!

Romana: So the TARDIS you arrived in…

1st Doctor: We pre-programmed it to dematerialize and return to its last destination upon sensing the arrival of this TARDIS.

Romana: That was very clever!

4th Doctor: Well, I had a good teacher.

Romana blushes and smiles.

8th Doctor: So what now?

1st Doctor: Romana, the Key to Time. It looks different. Clean, no fractures.

Romana: The one I assembled from the broken fragments disappeared when this one appeared.

Clara: We think the Key is…waiting for something.

4th Doctor: Waiting? Waiting for what?

Suddenly all react with a start as a voice comes from nowhere and everywhere, the voice of the White Guardian.

White Guardian (voice): Waiting for you, Doctor.

Then a soft but bright glow appears in the TARDIS and out of that light steps the White Guardian.

Clara: The White Guardian! What are you doing here?

White Guardian nods to Clara.

White Guardian: It is time to bring the last piece of this puzzle into place.

The White Guardian approaches Romana and gently lays her hands on the Key.

White Guardian: It is the end. But the moment has been prepared for.






Scene change: Doctors 3, 6, 9 & 10 with Jack with the paradox machine.

Jack: No! Not your fault! You didn’t build this! You didn’t cause any of this.

3rd Doctor: Perhaps not. But my power…our power as Time Lords…has been used to fuel this ghastly enterprise.

9th Doctor: It may not be our fault…

7th Doctor: But it is certainly our responsibility.

10th Doctor: Not that it never was. So. We need to stop this thing. How?

3rd Doctor: I would suggest…

9th Doctor: Please don’t suggest reversing the neutron flow.

3rd Doctor: My dear fellow, I was going to suggest we disrupt the flow of energy.

7th Doctor: It does appear to be very precisely calibrated. Look at the Angels.

10th Doctor: Each one standing exactly in the same position…

3rd Doctor: And the distance between each one is exactly the same.

Jack: That’s what I was thinking.

10th Doctor: So that’s why you’re bringing Martha over here? To break the circuit.

Jack: Yeah. Although, tell the truth, I didn’t really notice all that stuff about the positioning of the Angels.

9th Doctor: You were going to just throw something at it? Really?

Jack: Well, I…

9th Doctor: Fantastic idea! I love it!

10th Doctor: But Jack, why Martha?

Jack: Because…because I…I had to watch her become that terrible thing…and I couldn’t stop it…I couldn’t save her. I thought…

7th Doctor: She could strike one last blow against the Angels?

Jack: Yeah.

3rd Doctor: Are we sure we should do this?

The 10th Doctor walks out the door and looks at statue-Martha. He places his hand gently on her cheek.

10th Doctor: Martha. (takes a deep breath) Jack?

Jack: Yeah, Doc.

10th Doctor: Help me bring her in there.

Jack comes out. He and the 10th Doctor pull statue-Martha into the room with the paradox machine. The other Doctors gather on either side to help guide and steady her. They have her facing out from the energy ring positioned barely an inch away.

7th Doctor: Um, I’m not sure what direct contact with raw regenerative energy would have on Time Lord physiognomy.

10th Doctor: I don’t care. We…I’ve got to do this for Martha.

9th Doctor: Look, I know our propensity for self-sacrifice but all these versions of me interacting within the same time frame…

3rd Doctor: One of us dying or triggering an actual forward regeneration…

10th Doctor: I know but…

Jack (putting his hand on the 10th Doctor’s arm): Doc, I got this.

10th Doctor (distraught): But Jack, if weren’t for me, she… (sighs). Fine. Just one thing, Jack.

Jack: Yeah?

10th Doctor: Hold onto her…as long as you can. 

Jack silently nods and turns towards statue-Martha and edges her into the regenerative energy pulsing through the Weeping Angels. Instantly there are sparks and mini-explosions.

3rd Doctor (urgently): Quickly! Get back!

9th Doctor: Jack!

7th Doctor: C’mon, let’s go! Now!

The 4 Doctors back out of the room while the paradox machine begins to glow, pulsate, spark & hiss. Above it, the Vashta Narada shadows appear even more agitated. And all these disruptions from the energy ring through the machine up to the shadows become increasingly chaotic, violent.

Then, in the energy stream, statue-Martha begins to scream. The stone begins to transform to flesh.

Jack: Martha! Oh my God!

Quickly, Jack yanks her back from the glowing fires of the regenerative energy, pulls her close to his chest and immediately throws himself through the doorway. Jack, still holding Martha, falls to the floor.

10th Doctor: Martha!?!?!  (runs over and bends down next to Jack and Martha)

The 9th Doctor aims his sonic screwdriver and the door to the paradox machine room closes.

3rd Doctor: My word! Look at that!

The light inside the room is so bright that it’s seeping through the solid stone wall.

7th Doctor: Uh oh! What have we done?



Scene change: Back in the chamber of The One. Doctors 2, 5, and 11 are splayed out on the floor as The One continues to crackle and radiate energy as the 6th Doctor avoids these bolts. Over all this we hear the ever growing sounds of Daleks.

11th Doctor (struggling to get up): What..the hell?

The 11th Doctor sees the 2nd Doctor lying near him behind some machinery, protected for the moment from The One’s rampant energy. He starts to slide over to him.

The One: You cannot…defeat me! I am beyond machinations…beyond the limits of metal and wire!

11th Doctor to the 2nd Doctor: Are you all right?

2nd Doctor: Fine. Fit as a fiddle. If the fiddle were on fire. By the way..I like the bowtie.

11th Doctor: Finally! (kisses 2nd Doctor on the forehead) OK, I just kissed myself on my own forehead. Note: do NOT do that again!

2nd Doctor: I agree.

Meanwhile, The One is still cackling and shooting energy everywhere.

The One: I am ONE with the POWER! ONE with ALL of TIME! I am THE ONE!

The 6th Doctor joins the 5th Doctor behind a stone column.

5th Doctor: Am I hearing what I think I’m hearing out there?

6th Doctor: They’re back! Daleks!

5th Doctor (looking towards The One): Apparently he no longer needs to be physically connected to his source of power.

6th Doctor: Well, try not to go out too far on that speculative limb!

5th Doctor: Before we do...whatever it is we’re going to do next…

6th Doctor: Yes?

5th Doctor: I hate that outfit!

6th Doctor: You’re a fine one to talk, candy cane pants!

5th Doctor: It’s a cricket outfit! What is that supposed to be?

6th Doctor (looking smug): Distinctive!

The One: I am the culmination.. of the Dalek’s…Final Sanction! And ALL WILL FALL BEFORE ME!!!

11th and 6th Doctors pops up behind the 5th and 6th with the 2nd Doctor behind him.

2nd Doctor: Hello! Look, I do so hate to interrupt your discussion of men’s fashion but…

11th Doctor: Little matter of a maniacal (does air quotes) “Time God” still to deal with.

5th Doctor: Since he still has access to his power source, then we need to shut down that power source.

Suddenly The One begins screaming as the energy pulsating out of his tentacles begins to receded and weaken.

The One: What is this? Explain! Explain! The source of my power…is going…

The One’s screaming continues to grow weaker and weaker as the power drains from him until he is a limp, smoldering mass of tentacles. All the while, the bleating sounds of the Daleks outside fade away as well. The 6th and 2nd Doctors look out the door. The Daleks are fading away like ghosts.

6th Doctor: By thunder, what is happening?

2nd Doctor: The Daleks vanished…again?

11th Doctor: Remember the Dalek Time Commander said he was a lone survivor.

6th Doctor: So where did all those Daleks…come from…oh my!

2nd Doctor: All those Daleks was just the ONE Dalek.

11th Doctor: Yes, replicated over in over through time. But when his access to his time power was removed, they all winked out of existence.

6th Doctor: And the creature himself?

The 11th Doctor aims the sonic screwdriver at the Dalek’s tentacled form then looks at the readings.

11th Doctor: He’s dead.

5nd Doctor: Obviously my other selves have located whatever was keeping the paradoxes open.

2nd Doctor: Which was his source of power.

11th Doctor (puzzled): So if it was the paradox machine he was drawing from and it has been shut down…why are we still here?






Scene change: Back in the stone atrium as Doctors 3, 7 and 9 are standing, Doctor 10 is crouched down next to Jack and Martha while the glow continues to bleed through the solid stone mass of the wall. Then just as it looks like this light is about to burst through the wall, in a split second it’s gone and the stone wall stands in the dimly lit gloom in silence broken only by the trilling of a sonic screwdriver. The 10th Doctor is still hunched over Jack and the now unconscious Martha.

Jack: Wh..what happened?

10th Doctor: Shhh! (scans Martha with his screwdriver)

3rd Doctor: It appears the regeneration energy restored her.

7th Doctor: It shouldn’t work on humans.

9th Doctor: Being transformed into a Weeping Angel made her something different.

Martha groans.

10th Doctor: She’s been through some trauma but I think she’ll be all right.

Martha (looking up at Jack): Jack? What...? How...? (sees the 10th Doctor) Doctor!

10th Doctor (grinning broadly): Hello again, Doctor Martha Jones!

Martha: What…what’s going on? What…?

10th Doctor: Shh! I’ll explain later. I think. I’m not sure, actually, about everything.

Jack (smiling mischievously) I am sure of one thing, Martha.

Martha: What?

Jack: You look gorgeous naked!

Martha shrieks and crosses her arms over her chest. Jack stands up, takes off his coat and hands it to Martha.  The Doctors, only now realizing Martha was naked, look away.

7th Doctor: Uh oh.

Jack: Here.

9th Doctor: Uh, Jack? Martha?

Martha snatches the coat and quickly puts it on as she stands up.

3rd Doctor: You might want to…

Martha: Jack Harkness! You are… (eyes go wide with alarm)

Jack (looking around the room): Uh oh.

Martha: ..incorrigible?

All the Weeping Angels who had previously been lined along and facing towards the stone walls of the circular atrium are now in a tighter circle around and facing Jack and Martha.

Martha: This looks bad.

7th Doctor: This looks worse. (gestures towards the floor)

10th Doctor: Vashta Narada! Get back, everyone!

9th Doctor: Get back? Where? We’re in a circle!

Jack: In the middle of a room!

Shadows are stretching along around the floor as the circle of light Jack and Martha are standing in grows smaller and dimmer. Then the angels beginning fading into darkness as the shadows grow closer and closer.

Suddenly, a voice from nowhere, dry, inhuman.

Voice: We…are free. Your…reward. We let…you live.

Instantly the shadows vanish and the Angels are gone as well.

Martha (relieved): Whew! What just happened?

9th Doctor (also relieved): Wow. I think we just…saved?...the Weeping Angels.

10th Doctor: And saved the Vashta Narada?

Jack: Weird.

3rd Doctor: At least they were grateful.

Jack: OK, more weird.

7th Doctor: Letting us live, that was a nice touch.

10th Doctor: It appears that the Weeping Angels decided they didn’t like working for the Daleks very much.

3rd Doctor: But I have a question. We’ve sealed the fissure in our time line that was causing the paradoxes. We just shut the machine that was keeping the paradoxes open.

9th Doctor: That should’ve restored us to our proper points in time.

3rd Doctor: So why are we still here?







Scene change: Back to the classic TARDIS. Doctors 1, 4 and 8, The White Guardian, Romana and Clara with River still watching from the monitor.

The White Guardian (holding the Key to Time): The damage has been done. You successfully repaired the rift in your timeline. Even now..if the word “now” actually applies…your other selves have defeated the so-called “Dalek Time God” and destroyed his source of power which will no longer keep the paradoxes open. As they close, many of the wounds to space and time will be healed.

1st Doctor: Many. Not all.

White Guardian: No, not all.

4th Doctor: So can the Key…?

White Guardian: In and of itself, no. No, it can’t fix the remaining wounds.

8th Doctor: What do you mean: “in and of itself”.

White Guardian (nodding to the 4th Doctor): When you were sent on your mission to recover the Key to Time, there was a natural progression of decay in the course of time that the Key was made to repair. The Key is not designed to fix the damages from unnatural calamity.

Clara: So why did you have us look for the Key?

White Guardian: I said it was not designed for this function. I didn’t say it still couldn’t be USED to resolve this crisis. 

Romana: What happens now?

White Guardian: I had hoped that events would bring more of your different selves to this point, Doctor. And, regrettably, time is running out for you to take action. Come, the three of you, make contact with the Key.

Doctors 1, 4 and 8 approach the Key and put their hand on it.

Romana: I am a Time Lord, can I…?

White Guardian: I wish but no, Romana. This will only work with the same Time Lord from different time periods. I hope three will be enough.

1st Doctor: It begins.

The cube shaped Key to Time begins to glow as golden energy swirls about these three Doctors. Regeneration energy.

River (from the monitor): Clara! What’s happening?

Clara: River, it looks like…regeneration energy? Guardian!

The White Guardian raise a hand towards Clara’s direction  as she remains intensely focused on the Doctors and the glowing key.

White Guardian (whispering): This is has to work. It can work. But there’s just not enough power.

Suddenly the White Guardian thrusts her hand out and touches the Key.

Clara: Guardian? What…?

With her other hand, the White Guardian raises a finger to lips, once more indicating to Clara to remain silent as the glow from the Key in a split second becomes blinding. Then from the incandescent glow we see pieces of crystal burst forth from this glow which gets bright & brighter until ll is blanked out completely white.

A moment. Then…a voice.

1st Doctor (VO): There came the day when I decided to run. Running from what? Ah, that’s a story for another time.





Out of the blank white screen, we see the 1st Doctor walking across a field with the TARDIS in the background as Susan runs towards him, then hugs him.

Susan: Grandfather! Where were you? I was so worried!

1st Doctor (patting Susan on the head): No need to worry, Susan. I have a most extraordinary tale to tell. I've just visited my own future where I helped to save all of time and space. And then...


Susan: Yes, grandfather?


1st Doctor: And then, I did it again.

As the 1st Doctor and Susan walks towards the TARDIS, we see River Song standing in the distance. We move closer and she shakes her head.

River: Sweetie, you owe me big time!

River touches the vortex manipulator on her wrist and she fades away. The scene fades to white again.




Scene changes to the 2nd Doctor walking across a rock strewn shore as Zoe and Jamie runs towards him.

Zoe: Doctor!

Jamie: Aye, Doctor! Where’in you’ve been?

2nd Doctor: Zoe! Jamie! I’m so glad to be back! Come, let’s get inside the TARDIS! It’s cold out here!

1st  Doctor (VO): But what I was running towards was what interested me most.




Scene change: A laboratory with the 3rd Doctor & Jo Grant.

Jo: Doctor, are you sure about this?

3rd Doctor: No, not really. But it’s the right thing to do. I think.

The 3rd Doctor raises his arm and activates the sonic screwdriver. In response to its sonic vibrations, the air begins to shimmer in front of the Doctor as a shape begins to appear, a humanoid shape. The shape takes form: the Master.

The Master: What…? Where…? Doctor! Miss Grant!

Suddenly there are several clicking sounds behind the Master. Behind him are UNIT soldiers with rifles at the ready.

3rd Doctor: If you fine young chaps would escort this…gentleman to a cell.

The Master (still looking disoriented): You’ll get no trouble from me. I…I don’t know how I got here.

3rd Doctor: I’m sure you’ll work it all out. In time. (Addressing the UNIT soldier) And do try to make it a comfortable cell.





Scene change to Bannerman Road with Sarah Jane strolling down a sidewalk when she sees a tall man in a long coat and an even longer scarf.

Sarah Jane (smiling): Doctor!

She runs towards the Doctor then stops short.

4th Doctor: I’ve heard a lot about these beautiful topiaries.

4th Doctor pushes back some branches and reveals a slender metal device deep inside the hedge.

4th Doctor: Perfect place to hide a time beacon, eh?

4th Doctor stands up and grins.

Sarah Jane (smiling broadly): Doctor!

They hug each other.

4th Doctor: I’m…I’m sorry I didn’t come back for you…

Sarah Jane: It’s OK.





Scene change to a city street. The style of clothes and store fronts as well as a very helpful sign tell us the year is 1928. Looking decidedly out of place are Teegan and Nyssa.

Teegan: How much longer is the Doctor going to be, Nyssa?

Nyssa: I don’t know, Teegan, but the Doctor was very intent on coming here. Perhaps you should’ve stayed in the TARDIS.

Teegan: Perhaps I should have if I’d known all we were going to do was stand around outside of a telegraph office.

At that moment, the 5th Doctor exits the building.

5th Doctor: Ah, Teegan, Nyssa! Thank you for waiting!

Nyssa: Why did we come here, Doctor?

5th Doctor: Oh, I just had to make sure a message gets delivered…in 17 ½ years.



Teegan & Nyssa look puzzled as the 5th Doctor puts on his hat.


5th Doctor: Come along! We have things to do!


Nyssa: What sort of things.


5th Doctor: I have NO idea. But I'm sure it will be fun!

1st Doctor (VO): The infinite reach of the universe! The mysteries of time!






Scene change: Along a hillside with green grass, trees and blue sky. We see Peri Brown running up the hill with the 6th Doctor trudging behind.

Peri (shouting): Doctor! Come on!

6th Doctor: Peri, dear, I will get there in due time!

The 6th Doctor reaches the top of the hill and stands next to Peri.

Peri: Oh Doctor! This is…amazing!

6th Doctor: Yes. Yes, I suppose it is.

Our view shifts and we see that beyond the beauty of nature, the gleaming spires of a futuristic city extend to the sky.




Scene change: Ace is sitting on the grass on a lovely sunny day. A voice is heard behind her.

7th Doctor (voice): Hello, Ace!

Ace (happily): Professor! (she jumps to her feet)

7th Doctor: Ace! How many times must I tell you not to call…oh, never mind!

Ace: So where to now?

7th Doctor: Well, that depends. Where do YOU want to go?

Ace: Home!

7th Doctor: Home?

Ace: Yes, home! To the TARDIS!

7th Doctor: Yes, the TARDIS.


And the two begin to walk away, the blue box awaiting them in the distance.




Scene change: the interior of the 8th Doctor’s TARDIS. He’s looking pensively at the Time Rotor. A woman enters.

8th Doctor: Ah, Lucie!

Lucie Miller: Are you all right, Doctor? You seemed lost in thought, more so than usual.

8th Doctor: Oh, it’s nothing, Just a passing memory and…a cold feeling that there are…dark days to come.

Lucie: You’re being dramatic again, Doctor! Your memory’s just acting up again.

8th Doctor (smiles slightly): Perhaps so. So, Lucie Miller, let’s go somewhere… (pulling a lever on the console) …fun!

1st Doctor (VO): It was the unknown that excited me!




Scene change: a crowded marketplace as the 9th Doctor and Rose run through the throng of people. Rose is laughing and the Doctor has a grin on his face.

Rose: Doctor, where are we going?

9th Doctor: Just wait, Rose!

The 9th Doctor and Rose duck into an alley way. The Doctor withdraws his sonic screwdriver and scans along the brick wall.

9th Doctor: It...should be...right about here! 

The 9th Doctor pulls Rose through the wall.

Rose: Whoa! Scene change: a brightly lit club with a lot of energy and excitement. Rose: It's a night club?


9th Doctor: Yes but not just any night club. Look! Up on stage!

Rose: Is that..Elvis Presley...playing with John Lennon?

9th Doctor: And Marvin Gaye and Janice Joplin and.... Rose: This is

9th Doctor: Fantastic!



Rose (bright eyed with wonder): Oh yeah. Very...VERY fantastic!


1st Doctor (VO): I did not know what I would find…




Scene change: An alien world. The sky is green with a strange orange vapors wafting through the air. In the sky hang 3 worlds. Below looking up at this spectacle is the 10th Doctor and Donna Noble.

Donna: This is so…

10th Doctor: I know.

Donna: Just so…

10th Doctor: I know!

Donna: Wow!

10th Doctor: Yep. Wow!

Donna: OK, I fell asleep in science class…a lot…but isn’t that…out there…impossible?

10th Doctor: Yes, it is. Planets this close to each other should be crushing each other.

Donna: So how does all that…work?

10th Doctor: I have no idea.

Donna: Really?

10th Doctor: Yeah. (grinning) Isn’t it great? After all these centuries, I can still find things I don’t know.

1st Doctor (VO): Or when the journey would end.




Scene change: The TARDIS streaks across the sky, on fire and tumbling through the sky until it crashes in a suburban area, smoldering in a back yard. Out of the house comes bounding a little girl: Amelia Pond. She approaches the weird glowing, smoking box that's planted itself in her back yard.

Amelia: Hello?

Suddenly a face pops up over the edge of the box: the 11th Doctor.

11th Doctor: Hello!




Sudden jump cut: the 11th Doctor lying in a hammock, his eyes flying open wide. Quietly he gets out of the hammock which has been strung up in a storage room. Spread about him are various items and clothes from his previous lives. He straightens his bow tie and walks out of the room.

In the console room, he finds Clara.

Clara: Hello, Doctor!

Doctor: Clara. Sorry, I had to…take a nap.

Clara: No big deal.

Doctor: I haven’t taken a nap in (counts on fingers, muttering to himself) never.   

Clara: Well, trying to get along with yourself 10 times over, I imagine that can be quite exhausting. I can’t imagine what I would do if something like that happened to me. Would I win or lose all my arguments with myself?

Doctor: So you remember...all that happened?

Clara: Yes. I think. Even now, some of it seems…fuzzy?

Doctor: As we completely adjust to the restored timeline, certain memories and learning will be lost.


Clara: That seems...sad.

Doctor: Yes, well, that’s normal as the universe reasserts itself in the way it should be.

Clara: The way it should be?

Doctor: Yes, infinitely amazing and always able to surprise me. Clara…(pulls lever and the time rotor moves into action) care to be amazed and surprised?

Clara (with a sly smile): Always.

1st Doctor (VO): Perhaps it is selfish of me to feel this way but hope that somehow the journey never ends.




Scene change: A woman is walking down a city street. She’s tall with long white hair, dressed in a white blouse, black slacks and boots with a long grey coat that billows out behind her in the wind. She looks like the White Guardian except her skin tone is darker, a very light brown. As she walks we hear a high pitched trilling noise from her jacket. She pulls out from her coat a slender metal device: a sonic screwdriver.

Woman (to herself): Uh oh. Picking up signals from near Earth orbit. Lovely. A Sontaran battle cruise is over the Earth. Well, I suppose I better do something about that.

She replaces the device in her pocket. Walking through the gateway to a city park, she approaches the familiar Police Box form of the TARDIS. Before entering, she looks up to the sky, smiling.

Woman: It looks like the Doctor is needed again.

She enters and the door closes. The light on top of the box begins the glow as we hear the familiar VWORP! VWORP! as the TARDIS vanishes from view.


1st Doctor (VO): May the journey go on...forever.

--- The End ---


Next week: The Day of the Doctor is coming and Doctor Who Saturday begins a special countdown to this momentous event.


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