Friday, October 18, 2013

Broken News for Friday, October 18th, 2013

 Hello! I'm Dave-El and this is I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You; this blog may do nothing of any consequence but it won't cost you $24 billion either!
It's Friday night on the blog which means it's time for bROkEN nEWs
The resolution of the US Government Shutdown caused quite a few jokes to be cut. That's a shame because I'm sure I will never ever get a chance to use Government Shutdown jokes ever again!*
*Fully expect to use leftover Government Shutdown jokes by January.
So let's jump into the headlines!
 bROkEN nEWs begins in...
#BrokenNews “GOP POLL NIGHTMARE: 74 Percent Disapprove” The other 26% think the GOP is doing just fine, also think clouds are made of marshmallows. 
#BrokenNews “Supreme Court To Review Greenhouse Gases Regulations” Court also reviewing the “he who smelt dealt it” rule, as a favor to Clarence Thomas 
#BrokenNews “Cuccinelli: 'It's Amazing' God Hasn't Punished America For Abortion” If God isn’t punishing America, then what the hell explains Khardashians?

"After we take out squirrel, we have assignment from Tea Party to destroy Obamacare!"

#BrokenNews “GOP Congressman Not Sure If He's Getting Paid During Shutdown He needs to sort this out quick: rent on his mistress’s townhouse doesn’t come cheap, you know!

The Knights Who Say "NO"

#BrokenNews “Stenographer Pulled Off House Floor After Ranting About God, Freemasons” Tea Party thinks, “We’ve found our next Sarah Palin!”
#BrokenNews “Ted Cruz Doesn't Rule Out Another Shutdown” Ted’s all giddy, “Weeee! I wanna do it AGAIN!”
Hey, kids! It's time for....
bROkEN nEWs iN pICtUREs!
All righty then! Back to the headlines....
#BrokenNews “A Fox Is Now Living At The White House “ Obama hopes he can now answer, “What does the fox say?”
#BrokenNews “A-Rod Hired Hookers '2 At A Time'” Apparently it was a BOGO deal.
Seriously, how can we STOP Lena Dunham from doing nude scenes?
#BrokenNews “Macaulay Culkin Makes Rare Public Appearance” He’s not afraid to go outside now that the ‘crazy old person’ in his life is not so scary anymore.
#BrokenNews “Dallas Cowboys still America's favorite team: pollShh! It’s all part of a big prank we’re playing on Tony Romo.
#BrokenNews “Obama challenges Republicans: If you want change, 'win an election'” Then he tells Michelle he damn well doesn’t want brussel sprouts for dinner. Yeah, that didn’t go over well, either.
#BrokenNews “Up to $24B for nothing: Counting cost of the crisisJohn Boehner thought it would cost less but his “Tea Party Government Shutdown 50% Off” coupon had expired.
#BrokenNews “’Glee’ to end after season 6Ending it’s acclaimed 1 season run. 
That's that for bROkEN nEWs this week!

Tomorrow: Doctor Who Saturday (which may be on Sunday again, we'll have to see).
Until then, be good to one another.
Take us out, Kronk!

On behalf of Dave-El Inc. and I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You Entertainment, I must apologize once again that bROkEN nEWs made absolutely no damn sense!


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