Monday, October 20, 2014

This (Non) Sporting Life : Peyton Manning's Long Game

Hi there and welcome to a new edition of This (Non) Sporting Life, the blog post about sports by a guy who doesn't know about sports.  

The big story that even I had to hear about was Peyton Manning breaking the all time NFL touchdown record

Peyton Manning is jubilant over breaking the NFL touchdown record
even though the blood sacrifice to Cthulhu that made it possible
has turned one of his hands to stone. 

Peyton Manning is one of those names that I hold on to to prove I know at least something about sports. Manning plays football and he is a quarterback. 

OK that maxes out my level of football knowledge.

He is also old so I'm not sure how much longer I can use Manning as my default "I know the name of a football player" setting. 

It was rather embarrassing that Roger Staubach was still in that default setting up into the '90's. I eventually replaced him with Joe Montana until long after he retired. Now Manning holds that spot in my brain.

If you want to know more about exactly what this touchdown record is important, here's a link to an article on ESPN that I find totally incomprehensible but it may make sense to you. 

Below is a diagram of a squid. Or a road map, maybe? Sorry, it's a diagram to demonstrate how awesome Peyton Manning's achievement is. 

"Now you want to take the Manning bypass and then take the connecting road to Favre,
then head back south to Marino. If you wind up in Brady, you've gone too far."

The takeaway from this diagram is that Peyton Manning is way and above all other quarterbacks and will one day be the center piece of a major religion that will include inexplicably in it's iconography...a squid. Driving down a highway. 

All I know is that Manning's accomplishment sounds awesome and maybe it's something I can file away in some future sports discussion. 

Sports guy: "Wayne Gretsky was the greatest hockey player ever!"

Me: "Well, Peyton Manning holds the record for most NFL touchdowns so I don't think so!"

See, bits of info like that can make me seem smarter to my more sports savvy acquaintances. 

So congratulations to Peyton Manning and I hope good fortune continues to smile upon you and maybe you can make it all the way this year to the World Series.

Er, Super Bowl


Y'all be good to one another, OK?

I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You

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