Over on Fox News tonight, the first Republican debate for the 2016 Presidential campaign gets underway. Or I should say "debates". What with 18 people running for the GOP nomination (19 if we count Donald Trump's hair piece) and only so much room on stage, the prime time debate will feature the top 10 candidates who score the highest in a collection of national polls. And those 10 are:
- Jeb "Tonguetripper" Bush
- Scott "Soulcrusher" Walker
- Mike "Brimstone" Huckabee
- Ben "The Black Guy" Carson
- Ted "The Whitest Latino" Cruz
- Marco "Polo" Rubio
- Rand "Not Ron" Paul
- Chris "Krispy Kreme" Christie
- John "Too Dull To Have a Nickname" Kasich
- Donald "Donald Trump" Trump
Over on Twitter where I can be found right here, this hashtag began trending:
Well, here's my opportunity to be a viable part of the American political process. So here are 13 (yes, 13!) suggestions for questions I hope we get to hear at the GOP debate later tonight.
Drum roll please!
- What would you do for a Klondike bar?
- Would anyone like a nice Hawaiian Punch?
- Have you ever been mellow?
- Gov. Christie, would you please put your shirt back on?
- Who wants to give this transvaginal ultrasound thingy a try?
- Will someone go shoo Rick Perry away from the stage please?
- Batman vs. Superman: who've you got?
- Does anybody else hear that weird humming sound coming from Donald Trump's hair?
- How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood?
- How many bees would a Huckabee huck if a Huckabee hucked bees? (And speaking of Huckabee...)
- Which one of you is wearing women's panties? (Everybody looks at Mike Huckabee.)
- Does anybody have change for a twenty?
- You guys, you're just fucking with us, right?