Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Wrath and Ruin: The Aftermath of the First Clinton - Trump Debate

Hi there and welcome to I'm So Glad My Suffering Amuses You, your internet home for mango hued skin products. I'm Dave-El and I look pretty damn good in a pants suit.


This post is a first for this blog as I'm writing this on my phone. My computer that I use here at the Fortress of Ineptitude has decided that I spend too much time at HelloGiggles.com and won't let me back on the internet. But where else am I going to get my fashion tips from Zooey Deschanel?


Anyway today's post is my post mortem on the Clinton - Trump debate. So here are some random thoughts on that.


  • Can every one see Hillary OK? I have a bright red image burned into my retinas!
  • Grandma card! Good touch, Hillary. Remind people you're a carbon based life form.
  • While Hillary's talking, Donald's thinkin' Arbys.
  • Donald has a code in his node? Or does he have a cocaine problem? Really, what's with all the sniffing?
  • Never mind his hands! Damn, Donald has really tiny eyes!
  • If you picked the word "disaster" for your debate drinking game, you're already plastered at the 15 minute mark.
  • Uh oh, Hillary! Mentioning Bill gave Donald an opening.
  • "Live in your own reality" is a good line against Donald but serves to remind us we're in this reality and that's not a positive.
  • Donald's trying to alpha male his way through this. Don't be surprised if he starts flinging shit at Clinton. I mean, literal shit.
  • OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! Well that's what Trump just said, right?
  • Is Hillary playing in Donald's sandbox? Careful, I don't think anyone's cleaned up in there in ages.
  • "Underleveraged"? I'd hope Donald wouldn't bring up his penis again.
  • Hillary's talking to appliances! She said she's spoken to dishwashers! Wait, she means people who wash dishes. Oh. That's different. And less interesting.
  • "Stiffed"? Please stop saying that, Hillary.
  • Free plug for Trump's hotel in DC!
  • I said "Chung-chung" every time Donald said Law & Order; I said "Chung-chung" a lot!
  • Is it wrong that I want to be "stopped and frisked"? (I'm so lonely.)
  • Donald brought 1,000 people back to life in Chicago! Praise the Donald! (At one point, he said 4,000 people had been shot dead in Chicago; later he said 3,000 so the logical assumption is he raised them from the dead and now they work as the cleaning staff at Trump Tower for less than minimum wage.)
  • Donald dissed Hillary for being prepared? 
  • Donald still pushing the narrative that he did a good thing with the birther movement?
  • "Holier than thou"? They're gonna love that down south.


So ultimately it seems that Hillary Clinton was poised and prepared while Donald Trump blustered through the proceedings like an intoxicated bull in an already destroyed china shop.

In other words, both gave what their respective bases wanted.

And nothing changed. I expect Trump will declare victory and continue on his merry way. But from a purely objective viewpoint, of the two people standing on that stage last night, only 1 of them has the skills to be President. And Trump, petulant, bullying Trump, was NOT that person.

Everyone be good to one another.

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DISCLAIMER:  I'm doing this for fun, not profit. This is not officially sanctioned by the BBC and the producers of Doctor Who.   In c...